Has been on a steady decline for the last two years.

I'm dying to get it back, but fears of being rusty, fears of being uninteresting, fears of being misunderstood are stopping me. Vicious cycle, huh?

I'm so in love with her that she makes me blush from thousands of miles away.

My life is nothing how I pictured it would be.

And I'm so happy.

I hate it here.

Sometimes, when I think about the amazing family I've made for myself-Lauren, Sean, Struby, Franny, everyone else, I'm so happy I could cry.

I have swine flu and a dead car battery and a photo shoot in less than two hours-hopefully puffy eyes and high fevers are the new look for Fall 2009?

When I think that it's been a year since we all graduated, almost a year since I last spoke to Madeline, 9 months since I first moved to Mizzou, it freaks the shit out of me.

I found myself unable to sleep for the first time in a long time. I couldn't figure out why.

Then I realized today begins April.

I HATE April.

I got too drunk yesterday and a lot of people from SHAPE now have pictures of me without a shirt on ( Read more... )

I drink too much sometimes.

I'm about to go to Struby's last goodbye party. Because of a story too long, too personal to really explain, I'll be giving her a sheet of paper filled with the words "Remember all the people in Columbia who love you. I miss you. I love you. We're going to be ok."

It's been too long without Sean or Lauren and I'm losing my fucking mind.