Fuck Portugal!

Fuck Italy!

Fuck Brazil! Wait! The dumb fuckers lost already!

I will now begin my work teaching Kong to play soccer. It will be the glory of the modern world.

Happy Birthday to the illustrious Jon Gordner. May your life be long and full of strawberries.

I am a Tyrannosaurus?

I once ate a fish with wings. It made me sick and I choked to death on my own vomit.

It was very dissatisfying.

Better luck next time.

I am a velociraptor!

I have you now.

It is hatred that inspires the most complete domination of the world. Stalin was hated. So was Hitler. By their enemies of course, but thats all I need anyway.

Thank you for your hatred. It has made me great.

Serene.

I'm quite simply confused by how toilets work. They seem so innocent sitting their peacefully in the bathroom, no trouble to anything or anybody. Then we deposit waste in them and they roar into life like tiny bugs and angels whirling about the tree tops and depositing small packets of gingerbread to the small children below ( Read more... )

I am a pteradactyl.

There comes a time in every mans life when he must sit down and fully contemplate the full ramifications of his actions ( Read more... )

There comes a time in every mans life when he must sit down and fully contemplate the full ramifications of his actions ( Read more... )