I found the equipment I've been looking for. I'll be speaking to the farmer soon. I can't ever share my farming obsession with anyone I am around on a daily basis and it sucks. My goals are important to me. I have to focus on what I want sometimes.
I feel miserable today. It isn't the kind of feeling you get when you have a cold or the flu. I feel like my heart is broken. I feel like my soul is sick. I feel like completely falling apart.
I do my best. I really do. I try so hard to hold that smile and it lasts for a few hours, at most. I refuse to let you know just how dark the thoughts and dreams have become. There is an animal inside me that grows tired of pacing the cage. Every door is capable of being broken.