I'm afraid.

I've not felt so lost and empty in quite a while. I have so many people I could turn to. They'll all bring me happiness. I only really want to talk to one person. I hate these feelings.

I have been doing so much better. But at what cost? I've lost everyone. I want to grab you and scream that you are loved. I was made to love. That pit that has begun to open up inside me is what happens when your heart grows brittle from disuse.

Why is it still so difficult to function properly? I'm sick of medications that leave me disgusted and raging. I'm just hanging in there until I'm able to do something that I'll love.

I'm always watching. I can be invisible if I must.

He watches all the time. I can hear his laughter echoing inside my head when I make mistakes.

You're not a hero. Why fight this?

I hate him and I hate how much I hate him. I hear his laughter again.

Do you really think that this is going to end well for you?I grit my teeth and continue to walk away from him. I take a long breath and turn to ( Read more... )

The end.

Secret and hidden. Watching and waiting. Craving and lacking.

What do I want? What do I crave? Why do I keep waiting?

I crave your touch. I crave your companionship. Others only want sex. I want more. I need more.

I could do something interesting tonight. I think I will sleep since I work 10 hours tomorrow.

I hate when my doctor keeps asking me if I've spoken to my therapist about my anxiety or other issues I'm having. He only talks about restaurants and things he likes. I also feel really awkward speaking to my doctor about needing a different medication or a higher dosage. I'm just not good with most people who have power.

I want their power for