im so fucking confused...
but he makes me smile.
i'm sorry...

god he's so fucking gorgeous, and i do miss the whole intellectual conversation thing, he has a passionate mind, while still holding stong to optimism - i dont find that very often. so far so good. i just wish i could whole heartedly trust him. we'll see...

i think it's over ( Read more... )

i feel like i'm wasting my life. everytime i turn around i find another excuse to hold back. i'm down to one job. my roomate hasnt paid rent in 2 months. i've managed to fuck and fuck over 3 people in the last few months. one still calls me "i miss you, come over..." i dont want him. another now lives with me, as my roomate's boyfriend. and then ( Read more... )

dan is home and safe for 10 whole days! i fell asleep at his graduation, and my parents have no water at their house and i smell bad. but dans alive, and skinny, and says fuck and shit alot more than he used to. its great. i want to go home. and i want to go to sam ash with dan and play shit and have fun. well thats about it ( Read more... )

so tomorrow is the faint and im sooo excited! ive never seen them live before. of coarse i left my ticket in columbus so i have to have my roommate meet me half way today to get it. oh and speaking of my roomate. teri wants to have that halloween party i was talking about good, fine. but she wants to invite benton and pasty. ahhh im so embarassed! ( Read more... )

yeah so i work too much, ive been working like at least 2 or 3 doubles a week. im almost caught up though. last week i turned 20. i had to work 8am to close. then me and alyssa went to tanya's birthday party and i got wayyy to drunk and woke up with chocolate sauce in my belly botton and all over my stomache and chest and i dont even want to know ( Read more... )

... needs medication. i have to go to the doctor this week. i cant even write. so im going to start scraping again. i need a release. i dont want to go back on meds, but i cant figure out anything else to get me out of this mental rut. there's absolutely nothing wrong with my life. i have a wonderful life. and i hate it. and i cry. because i want a ( Read more... )

... they cry. i hate that.

there's a lot of stress and drama in my life right now. i dont much care for it. im out of my shit hole closet. thats nice. but im now technically homeless. not nice. alyssa lets me sleep on her couch though, which is much appriciated. we're back to being good friends again which is really cool. she's getting me into stretching and back into ( Read more... )