well i wanted to update b4 i went on vacation. unfortunatly i don't really have much to say. this is ym first real vacation away from work and school since i started school in august. hopefully a week in tahoe will do me some good. jaime is coming which is always good. anyways maybe i will be more enlightening when i get back. later

Damn i guess it really has been that long... i know that no one else really reads this and there have been a few times where i missed writing my thoughts. looks like i will be making a stunning return to my unseen LJ account. but for those of you who are complete voyers i will do the short recap ( Read more... )

ok so its been a very long time since last we spoke. many things have happened and to be honest i really don't know where to start. umm ok just checked my last entry ( Read more... )

some days are better then others, and some days the past comes back to haunt you. sins of the father, the sun, and the holy spirit. sins of a life you lived once before. sins from a time when you were not yet alive, before you knew what life was, before the past was the past. my sins are far from gone, they seem to hover there. can mistakes in life ( Read more... )

and the holding pattern continues. well at least in certain areas. the job is good (minus a 2hr shift that was a waste of time today). the hunt for a place to live is starting to look promising, but i am going to need to find some roommates. but its still a step in the right direction ( Read more... )

don't know why i'm still writing some days. life is in a holding pattern. between life and love i feel trapped. i'm afraid right now. afraid that i don't know what i'm doing. afraid that i will hurt someone with what i am doing. life and love never give us much room to maneuver. now i find it hard to take my own advice. i find it hard not to shuck ( Read more... )

its been a long strange trip so far, and i think its just going to get stranger. my basis for this. i have recently found a community here on LJ that may share my obsession with FFXI. its sort of odd to see people from all over the world. and this is the real version of them. when we enter the game we become our characters to an extent. we show ( Read more... )

ok, so i decided to have lunch with my aunt this afternoon. i like my family, we're odd but we are deffinitly family. so my dad decides to come along as well. nice lunch, but on the walk back my aunt comes up with an idea. "so you guys want to get stoned?" like i said we are family. so after about .5 seconds of contemplation my father and i both ( Read more... )

ok didn't really know what to call this one. feeling sort of off at the moment. i think i lost my escapism. i realize that those who actualyl read this are eitehr going to think i'm retarded or i'm making no sense, or possibly both. for the past 5 months i have been disappearing into a game to escape reality, i emmerged only long enough to study, ( Read more... )

well ok so i have been home for a few days now. got my comp set up, saw my friends, hung out, and relegated myself to the fact that i just lost $509 on a jackass from new zealand. but things are still ok. saw my future school (assuming of course i passed my finals) and i think it will be cool there. going to start looking for work tomorow, might be ( Read more... )