Always with you - Chapter 7
Title: Always with you
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural AU/Romance
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Chuck/Becky, Sam/Sarah
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 46400
Warnings: some angst, mentions of violence, implied character death (disappearance)
Previous chapter: Chapter 6
Chapter seven - And then we kiss Time was an interesting thing, or at least that’s what Castiel thought about it. In a weird way minutes seemed to drag on forever, never wanting to end, while hours flew by with a loud whooshing sound he could imagine so well he was actually hearing it. He showered, shaved and then spent half an hour deciding what to wear, before finally settling for a pair of black jeans, white shirt with thin black stripes and a dark gray waistcoat. He used some gel for his hair, trying to force it to look the way he wanted it to, just this once in his life, but the almost constant bed-head look he’d been sporting was too stubborn, and in the end his hair looked even messier than it did before he had applied the gel.
A few minutes before eight o’clock he heard a car’s engine rumbling loudly. He looked out of the window, and saw a sleek black car nearing. He cast a last glance at himself in the mirror, and hurried downstairs to meet Dean. The other man was wearing black slacks with a red button-down shirt, and even though he looked a little uncomfortable in it, the smile on his face was bright.
“You look hot.” Dean greeted him.
“Thanks. You’re not bad yourself,” Castiel answered, and eyed Dean’s car for a while. “Nice ride,” he commented.
“She’s amazing, a 1967 Chevy Impala.”
“I have a Chevrolet too.”
“Yeah, a silver 2009 Camaro. I know, I saw her the day you arrived. She’s a beauty.”
“Oh, of course you saw it…” Castiel mumbled when he remembered the circumstances of Dean’s and his first meeting, and he hung his head in shame.
“Come on, just forget it, okay?” Dean said, touching Castiel’s chin and gently forcing him to look up. “What happened, happened, we can’t change it, but we can forget it, which you should do. Oh, and we should go, I don’t want to miss our table reservation.” He smiled, and Castiel found it impossible not to smile back.
The restaurant they went to was really nice, the furniture made of light gold-colored wood, the tablecloths red with tiny white patterns. The scent of Mediterranean spices and wines filled the air, and only then did Castiel realize how hungry he was. Their table was already waiting for them, and a petite brunette - her nametag said Meg - brought them the menus. It didn’t take long until they both chose their meals, but the wait for them was a little too long, and it was filled with awkward silence. After Meg laid down the plates with their starters in front of them, Dean looked up at Castiel.
“I didn’t just screw it up, did I?” He asked.
“Screw up what?” Castiel didn’t understand what Dean was talking about.
“This… whole thing. Whatever it is we have. Us. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…” He scratched behind his ear.
“It was a good idea, it’s just… I haven’t been on a date in too long. I think I forgot how to date,” Castiel laughed.
“I’m a little rusty myself,” Dean admitted with a shy half-smile, and with that the ice seemed to be broken. They fell into their usual rhythm, joking and teasing each other. It was almost midnight when they left. Castiel felt a little weird from all that wine he had drunk, but it was more of a pleasurable buzz than an uncomfortable dizziness. The drive home seemed too short, and neither of them wanted the evening to end, so they spent another half an hour sitting in the Impala, just talking. Dean wanted to kiss Castiel so badly. Every time he glanced at those full, cherry red lips he almost surged forward to finally taste them, but so far he had managed to keep himself from doing it. He wasn’t sure yet that Castiel would appreciate it, if he kissed him, so he waited.
In the end it was Dean who had to end their date though, because despite his best intentions, he almost fell asleep sitting in the car. After they said their goodbyes, for a moment Dean was sure Castiel was going to kiss him, but it didn’t happen. He waited until Castiel closed the door behind him before driving the Impala to the garage and then going to bed.
A few hours later Dean woke up. It was still the middle of the night. Sleepily he blinked a few times before turning to his other side, and trying to fall back asleep. He failed. Almost an hour later, he was more awake than before. With a loud sigh he threw his blankets off, and padded out into the kitchen to get some milk. With the mug in his hands, he sat down on a chair, and looked out into the night. The full moon’s light was bright, almost day-like, so he could see the yard quite clearly. Something flashed white in the shadow of a huge oak tree, near a garden bench, and for a moment Dean contemplated grabbing his shotgun and checking it out. Then he saw that it was Castiel, sitting on the bench, with his legs pulled up under his chin. He looked miserable and lonely, and it broke Dean’s heart to see him like that. He downed the rest of his milk, and walked out of the house. The night air was chilly, and the grass was wet under his bare feet. He shivered, and or a moment he wished he had pulled on a sweatshirt and maybe even shoes before stepping out, but Castiel had already noticed him, looking up at him with sad blue eyes.
“Hello, Dean,” he whispered.
“Hey. What’s up?” Dean sat down next to him. “Can’t sleep?”
“No. I’ve been doing some thinking.”
“About what?” Dean asked. Castiel wriggled a little and slipped his feet onto the ground. For a second it looked like he was trying to leave, but
then he started talking, looking straight ahead.
“My life. I’ve been raised in a big family. Brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, the whole deal. If I wanted to get something, or achieve something, I had to work really hard - and alone - for it, and after a while I just didn’t care anymore about how many people I had to trample down. I lost the old me somewhere around halfway into law school, and I didn’t lift a finger to get it back, because it was easier, not to care. Almost everyone I cared about had left me, and that only made me work harder.
As you know, I became a lawyer, a successful one at that, but I didn’t do it because I wanted to bring justice to people. No, I was way too wrapped up in my need to have a well-paid job, and become… well-known. I helped some innocent people, but I also helped some criminals to a legal escape from a long time spent in jail. My last case, the one with all those corrupt top dogs? I only took that because I wanted more recognition. When I was kidnapped… it was like a wake-up call. A really late wake-up call, but it was one, nonetheless. I just didn’t realize it then.” Castiel sighed, and looked at Dean.
“After I was freed, Becky started visiting me again. We’ve always talked to each other, but before that, we hadn’t met in years. She invited me to come here, but I was too proud, and too stubborn, so I didn’t. What I did, was to try living my old life. But after a while even the most expensive wines started to taste bitter, the best food like ash… One day, I woke up, and I felt like screaming. That was the day I scared your horse halfway to death. And, as they say, everything else is history.”
“I’m glad you did,” Dean blurted out, and Castiel shot him a questioning glance.
“Did what?”
“Scared my horse halfway to death. Well, that’s not what I’m glad about, but… It’s good you’re here, I guess,” he muttered. He felt his ears burn, and he was grateful for the shadow of the tree they were sitting under, as it covered most of his face, possibly hiding his blush from Castiel.
After some thinking Dean pushed himself a little closer to Castiel on the bench. His heart was literally beating in his throat, drumming an agitated staccato. The other man’s closeness hypnotized him, he desperately wanted to close the distance between them, but he wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. So instead of doing that, he moved his fingers, brushing them against Castiel’s hand. He hoped that it looked as unintentional, as he wanted it to, but apparently it didn’t. Castiel entwined their fingers without as much as a second thought, and Dean was sure: from that time on, he would never have to fake anything just to be able to touch Castiel. He turned towards him, reached out and gently caressed Castiel’s stubbled jaw. The other man closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into the touch, and then pressed his mouth against Dean’s, his tongue begging for entrance. Dean’s lips parted, granting access, and Castiel immediately deepened the kiss. They still held hands, not letting go of each other for a second. Dean pulled Castiel closer and closer, until their chests were barely an inch away. He lifted their joined hands and placed it over Castiel’s heart, before burying his other hand into his hair, playing with the dark, silky locks. The kiss lasted for what seemed like an eternity, and when they parted, they both were gasping for air.
“Dean…” Castiel sighed, but Dean stopped him.
“Shh, Cas. Don’t talk, just kiss me again.” He smiled.
“Did you just call me Cas?”
“Yes,” Dean admitted with a sheepish smile. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, it’s just… I haven’t been called Cas in ages, probably since I’m out of suspenders. And school uniforms,” he grinned, “But I like it.”
“Good. Cause it fits you better than your full name.”
Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean again, licking his way into the other man’s mouth. The kisses were making them both a little dizzy because of the lack of air, yet they dived back for more and more, giving and taking, asking and granting. Every kiss felt a little bit better than the one before, yet soon they just weren’t enough. Dean shifted, and pulled Castiel into his lap, so that the other man was straddling his hips. Slowly he let his hand slide down his back, following the elegant curve of his spine. Castiel’s skin was hot even through the fabric of his t-shirt, and Dean wanted to feel, to touch without that cotton barrier, but when he tried slipping his hand under Castiel’s shirt, he was stopped.
“Don’t rush this. We don’t have to hurry… we have time,” Castiel whispered into his ear, breath tickling his skin. After Dean’s answering nod,
Castiel left a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses on Dean’s jaw line and neck, before returning to his lips. Despite Dean’s proximity he shivered, and that snapped both of them out of their lust-induced haze.
“You’re cold,” Dean observed, and Castiel nodded, “We could go in, it’s warmer there.”
“I know, but… if we do that, I’m not sure I can stop myself.”
“You don’t have to stop yourself.” The thought of Castiel taking control, and taking him made Dean’s blood boil.
“I know, but I… I kinda want to. I want this to be more than what I usually have, and if we keep going now, it will be exactly like what I usually have. I know it sounds cheesy, and girly, but I want it to mean something.”
“It’s okay, I know what you mean, and I understand,” Dean answered, and he surprised even himself, because he meant it. If it came from anybody else, rejection would make him annoyed, maybe a little angry too, but with Castiel it wasn’t anything like that. They traded a few more kisses before Dean reluctantly allowed Castiel to pull away.
“Sleep well, Cas.” He smiled, gently caressing his lover’s face before releasing him completely.
“You too.” After Castiel disappeared in the distance and the dark, he climbed back into bed, and slept like a baby until his alarm woke him.
~.~.~.~.~.~The day started out just like every other ordinary weekday, but the horses were restless and fidgety: Dean has never seen them act like that before. Crystal was even more unmanageable than the others, she kept kicking out at Dean. Instead of the usual ten minutes it took to lead the horses out, this time he spent half an hour with that. Dean knew something bad must have happened, but he had no idea what it could be, so after he finally managed to close the pen’s gate behind the last horse, he walked up to the main house. Castiel, Chuck and Becky were all sitting on the terrace, Becky was crying and Chuck’s eyes were red too.
“What happened?” Dean asked when he got near enough for them to hear his voice.
“My goddaughter is missing,” Becky said, and another sob left her lips. Chuck reached out, and pulled his girlfriend into a tight hug. “She was here yesterday afternoon with an older friend of hers. Her friend, Maggie lives two blocks away from her, closer to us, so they parted ways when she arrived home… and Tyler never got back,” she mumbled almost inaudibly, burying her head in Chuck’s shirt. Castiel stood up, and pulled Dean a little aside.
“People are crowding at her home, forming teams searching for her, we could help them. You know the neighborhood well, that could be of importance.”
“Yeah, it could. I’m going to get Crystal and look around, maybe I’ll find something.” Dean turned around, and was just leaving, when Castiel’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.
“I want to come with.”
“Cas, on foot we’d be too slow, and we can’t take a car.”
“I know. I know the basics of riding a horse, don’t I?” After Dean’s tentative nod, Castiel continued. “Okay, no further questions then. I’m going. Maybe I’ll just slow you down, but four eyes see more.”
“There is nothing I can say to talk you out of this, am I right?” Dean asked with a half-smile.
“Yes, you’re right. You know me, stubborn as a mule. So, let’s go.”
This time Castiel seemed to be a little more confident on Gigette’s back, or maybe it was just the adrenaline working, but Dean didn’t have enough time to dwell on that, not in that moment. First they followed the road the two girls must have taken home, but all they found was a faint trail in the dirt that could have been made by Tyler’s bike. In front of Tyler’s house there were a lot of people, trying to coordinate the search parties. It was all surprisingly organized, even though the despair was tangible in the air. Dean and Castiel got the direct neighborhood of the Shurley Estate assigned to them, along with a young woman named Hayley, who was riding a well-muscled gray mare.
It took them the whole day to sweep the area, and they didn’t find anything. The other search parties weren’t any luckier either. There was no sign of Tyler anywhere, it seemed like she just dropped off of the face of the Earth. Becky was devastated by the news, or rather by the lack of news. After Dean de-harnessed and scrubbed down the horses with Castiel’s help, he sank down on a hay bale, pulling his knees up to his chin, and looked up at Castiel. They were both tired and dirty.
“Hey, Cas. You okay?” He asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Exhausted, but other than that I’m fine,” Castiel answered, and Dean knew immediately he was lying.
“You’re a terrible liar, angel. The second time you sat on a horse, you did it for almost a whole day, I’m surprised you’re able to stand.”
“Angel? Is that going to be my new nickname?” Castiel inquired dryly, and he plopped down, right into Dean’s lap.
“Only if you want it to be,” Dean shrugged. “I just remembered I haven’t even kissed you today. That mistake needs to be fixed.” He smiled, and captured his lover’s lips in a short, almost shy kiss. Silently, they sat there for a while, before Castiel stood up and pulled Dean with him.
“Come on, we need to move before we fall asleep right here in this sacred place,” He nudged Dean.
“Yeah, that may be a good idea.” Slowly they walked out of the stable. Dean was on the verge of collapsing, and one look at Castiel told him that he wasn’t better off either.
“I hope someone will find that poor girl,” Castiel broke the silence.
“Me too. Do you want to help tomorrow?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Okay, we’ll go then. By the way, you were great with Gigette today. Not everyone could have done what you did. Learning to steer a horse is usually hard enough on a practice track, and you had to do it on the field,” Dean said, and he patted Castiel’s back approvingly.
“It wasn’t that hard.” Castiel waved his hand. “But thanks anyway.” They stopped to trade a few good-night, sleep-well, and see-you-tomorrow kisses, and then parted ways. After a hot shower Dean all but collapsed into his bed. He wished Castiel was there with him, but soon he fell asleep. He dreamt of Tyler, she was scared and screaming loudly, running from someone and there was a little red bicycle buried in sand… Dean woke up panting. With a desperate sigh he turned around, trying to erase the memory of the depressing dream. He hoped the little girl was okay, even though he felt deep down that she wasn’t. He managed to catch a couple more hours of sleep before his alarm beeped again, telling him to get ready for yet another day.
~.~.~.~.~.~The hope of finding Tyler alive and well diminished with every passing hour, with every day spent on a futile search for her. More and more people were giving up on her, and in the end it was only Tyler’s parents, Becky, Dean and Castiel who kept looking for her, sweeping every place for a second, a third, a fourth time. Chuck and Becky had a huge fight after Chuck said that Tyler was probably dead, and they hadn’t talked in days. Both Dean and Castiel tried their best to fix their relationship, but Becky wasn’t cooperating, even though they convinced Chuck to apologize to her. After another day spent with a futile search for something that wasn’t there, Castiel just broke down. He was aching from all the horse-riding, he was frustrated, sad and also a little angry.
“What could a little girl like Tyler have done to deserve something like this? What did Susan Thompson do to deserve losing her daughter like that? Or Becky? How is that fair?” He yelled, and slammed the saddle down so hard Dean was sure something snapped in it.
“I don’t know Cas, I don’t know. But I don’t think anyone cares about it not being fair. If someone did, it wouldn’t have happened,” he said softly, pulling Castiel close and wrapping his arms around his waist.
“I hate this so much,” Castiel whispered, and laid his head down onto Dean’s shoulder, leaning into the embrace.
“Me too,” Dean caressed his lover’s hair. “We could go to the pond, it always cheers you up. And right now, you need some cheering up. You’re tense like a bow.”
“Okay, let’s go,” Castiel agreed, and taking Dean’s hand into his they made their way to the pond. Ever since Castiel had first seen that little lake, it was his favorite place. He spent hours just sitting on the shore, feet in the water, but sometimes, when he found the temperatures okay, he even swam in it. A few seconds after they reached the pond, Castiel was already knee-deep in the water, shoes thrown onto the shore, jeans rolled up.
“Cas, you sure you weren’t a mermaid in your previous life? Or… I don’t know, a frog maybe?” Dean joked, and Castiel glared at him disapprovingly before flicking a fistful of water towards Dean. Only a couple of drops did actually reach him, but they were cold, and that made Dean shiver. “Oh, two can play this game.” He grinned, and splashed Castiel, covering him in huge wet spots from the waist down.
“You don’t know who you’re messing with,” Castiel hissed playfully, and he kicked out. This time his aim was better, and Dean found himself soaking wet in a matter of seconds. He laughed at Dean’s dismayed face, but when his lover started pouting, his heart dropped, and he went to wrap him into his arms. Apparently that was exactly what Dean was hoping, because the moment Castiel got near enough, he poked into his ribs, making him slip on the wet sand, and he ended up on his backside, sitting in the water.
“That wasn’t exactly fair,” Castiel growled complainingly, but Dean flashed a bright smile at him.
“All is fair in love and war, angel.”
“And which of those was this exactly?” Castiel inquired innocently, and when Dean wasn’t paying attention, he pulled his lover into the water. “Now we’re even,” he announced with a grin, and then pressed a kiss against his lover’s cool lips. Dean shifted, throwing his leg over Castiel’s thighs and straddling his hips. He leaned in for another kiss, and he moaned appreciatively when his wish was granted. Castiel’s closeness was driving him insane, and his hips bucked on their own accord, pressing his groin against his lover’s. After their lips parted, he began kissing his way down Castiel’s neck and shoulder, sticking his nose under his wet shirt. Slowly he began unbuttoning it, but his fingers were numb from the cool water, and trembling with lust, which wasn’t a good combination. To his surprise, Castiel didn’t stop him, and eventually he got the shirt undone, pushing it off of his shoulders, baring his chest. A loud groan left his lips, and he dove down to lick at one of his lover’s already hard nipples. Castiel hissed, and he grabbed a fistful of Dean’s hair, pushing his head and his mouth closer still to his skin. Dean’s tongue on his nipple felt so good, he shivered with lust, goosebumps rising on his arms and his chest.
“Dean…” He keened, and gently pulled at Dean’s hair, making him lift his head so he could kiss him. It was messy, but it was still the best kiss of his life. His hands were roaming over Dean’s back, and he realized he was the only one half-naked. Without thinking he grabbed the hem of Dean’s t-shirt, and pulled it off of him. Dean’s skin was tanned, a warm golden color, and Castiel’s hand looked scarily pale in comparison as he skimmed down over his lover’s breastbone, finally reaching a nipple and flicking it playfully. Dean’s breath hitched, and knowing that it happened because of his touch made Castiel smile. He lifted his hips, pressing insistently against his lover’s body, and when he felt Dean wrap his legs around his waist, he turned them around so it was Dean sprawled under him in the water, where he pushed at him until he lay down on his back. For a while he let his gaze caress every inch of Dean, but he couldn’t stay away from his lips for long. Kissing him hungrily he rubbed his body against Dean’s, skin on skin contact ripping a loud gasp from his throat. He knew they couldn’t stay much longer in the water, it was getting dark and cool, but he tried to make the most of it. Tentative fingers followed the ridges of bones and muscles, cold touches tickled playfully at lust-warmed skin, tongues fought for dominance. It was all a little messy, but it felt amazing, and in that moment Castiel finally felt complete. Dean and him… they fit together like puzzle pieces. They kept kissing as long as they could, but eventually the cold got to them, and reluctantly they walked out of the water. They were both half-naked and shivering, their remaining clothes soaking wet.
“My balls are freezing off,” Dean complained.
“Yeah, I’m not exactly sweating either,” Castiel answered with a small laugh, and he squeezed the water out of his shirt that he was holding in his hands. “Come on, let’s go home.” Quickly they grabbed their scattered belongings, and hurried home. Dean tried to invite Castiel in, but he declined the offer, saying that he needed to check on Becky, and the mention of her brought them back onto the ground of reality. The sadness over Tyler’s disappearance was a constant companion for all of them, but it was even worse for Becky. Next chapter: Chapter 8
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural AU/Romance
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Chuck/Becky, Sam/Sarah
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 46400
Warnings: some angst, mentions of violence, implied character death (disappearance)
Previous chapter: Chapter 6
Chapter seven - And then we kiss Time was an interesting thing, or at least that’s what Castiel thought about it. In a weird way minutes seemed to drag on forever, never wanting to end, while hours flew by with a loud whooshing sound he could imagine so well he was actually hearing it. He showered, shaved and then spent half an hour deciding what to wear, before finally settling for a pair of black jeans, white shirt with thin black stripes and a dark gray waistcoat. He used some gel for his hair, trying to force it to look the way he wanted it to, just this once in his life, but the almost constant bed-head look he’d been sporting was too stubborn, and in the end his hair looked even messier than it did before he had applied the gel.
A few minutes before eight o’clock he heard a car’s engine rumbling loudly. He looked out of the window, and saw a sleek black car nearing. He cast a last glance at himself in the mirror, and hurried downstairs to meet Dean. The other man was wearing black slacks with a red button-down shirt, and even though he looked a little uncomfortable in it, the smile on his face was bright.
“You look hot.” Dean greeted him.
“Thanks. You’re not bad yourself,” Castiel answered, and eyed Dean’s car for a while. “Nice ride,” he commented.
“She’s amazing, a 1967 Chevy Impala.”
“I have a Chevrolet too.”
“Yeah, a silver 2009 Camaro. I know, I saw her the day you arrived. She’s a beauty.”
“Oh, of course you saw it…” Castiel mumbled when he remembered the circumstances of Dean’s and his first meeting, and he hung his head in shame.
“Come on, just forget it, okay?” Dean said, touching Castiel’s chin and gently forcing him to look up. “What happened, happened, we can’t change it, but we can forget it, which you should do. Oh, and we should go, I don’t want to miss our table reservation.” He smiled, and Castiel found it impossible not to smile back.
The restaurant they went to was really nice, the furniture made of light gold-colored wood, the tablecloths red with tiny white patterns. The scent of Mediterranean spices and wines filled the air, and only then did Castiel realize how hungry he was. Their table was already waiting for them, and a petite brunette - her nametag said Meg - brought them the menus. It didn’t take long until they both chose their meals, but the wait for them was a little too long, and it was filled with awkward silence. After Meg laid down the plates with their starters in front of them, Dean looked up at Castiel.
“I didn’t just screw it up, did I?” He asked.
“Screw up what?” Castiel didn’t understand what Dean was talking about.
“This… whole thing. Whatever it is we have. Us. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…” He scratched behind his ear.
“It was a good idea, it’s just… I haven’t been on a date in too long. I think I forgot how to date,” Castiel laughed.
“I’m a little rusty myself,” Dean admitted with a shy half-smile, and with that the ice seemed to be broken. They fell into their usual rhythm, joking and teasing each other. It was almost midnight when they left. Castiel felt a little weird from all that wine he had drunk, but it was more of a pleasurable buzz than an uncomfortable dizziness. The drive home seemed too short, and neither of them wanted the evening to end, so they spent another half an hour sitting in the Impala, just talking. Dean wanted to kiss Castiel so badly. Every time he glanced at those full, cherry red lips he almost surged forward to finally taste them, but so far he had managed to keep himself from doing it. He wasn’t sure yet that Castiel would appreciate it, if he kissed him, so he waited.
In the end it was Dean who had to end their date though, because despite his best intentions, he almost fell asleep sitting in the car. After they said their goodbyes, for a moment Dean was sure Castiel was going to kiss him, but it didn’t happen. He waited until Castiel closed the door behind him before driving the Impala to the garage and then going to bed.
A few hours later Dean woke up. It was still the middle of the night. Sleepily he blinked a few times before turning to his other side, and trying to fall back asleep. He failed. Almost an hour later, he was more awake than before. With a loud sigh he threw his blankets off, and padded out into the kitchen to get some milk. With the mug in his hands, he sat down on a chair, and looked out into the night. The full moon’s light was bright, almost day-like, so he could see the yard quite clearly. Something flashed white in the shadow of a huge oak tree, near a garden bench, and for a moment Dean contemplated grabbing his shotgun and checking it out. Then he saw that it was Castiel, sitting on the bench, with his legs pulled up under his chin. He looked miserable and lonely, and it broke Dean’s heart to see him like that. He downed the rest of his milk, and walked out of the house. The night air was chilly, and the grass was wet under his bare feet. He shivered, and or a moment he wished he had pulled on a sweatshirt and maybe even shoes before stepping out, but Castiel had already noticed him, looking up at him with sad blue eyes.
“Hello, Dean,” he whispered.
“Hey. What’s up?” Dean sat down next to him. “Can’t sleep?”
“No. I’ve been doing some thinking.”
“About what?” Dean asked. Castiel wriggled a little and slipped his feet onto the ground. For a second it looked like he was trying to leave, but
then he started talking, looking straight ahead.
“My life. I’ve been raised in a big family. Brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, the whole deal. If I wanted to get something, or achieve something, I had to work really hard - and alone - for it, and after a while I just didn’t care anymore about how many people I had to trample down. I lost the old me somewhere around halfway into law school, and I didn’t lift a finger to get it back, because it was easier, not to care. Almost everyone I cared about had left me, and that only made me work harder.
As you know, I became a lawyer, a successful one at that, but I didn’t do it because I wanted to bring justice to people. No, I was way too wrapped up in my need to have a well-paid job, and become… well-known. I helped some innocent people, but I also helped some criminals to a legal escape from a long time spent in jail. My last case, the one with all those corrupt top dogs? I only took that because I wanted more recognition. When I was kidnapped… it was like a wake-up call. A really late wake-up call, but it was one, nonetheless. I just didn’t realize it then.” Castiel sighed, and looked at Dean.
“After I was freed, Becky started visiting me again. We’ve always talked to each other, but before that, we hadn’t met in years. She invited me to come here, but I was too proud, and too stubborn, so I didn’t. What I did, was to try living my old life. But after a while even the most expensive wines started to taste bitter, the best food like ash… One day, I woke up, and I felt like screaming. That was the day I scared your horse halfway to death. And, as they say, everything else is history.”
“I’m glad you did,” Dean blurted out, and Castiel shot him a questioning glance.
“Did what?”
“Scared my horse halfway to death. Well, that’s not what I’m glad about, but… It’s good you’re here, I guess,” he muttered. He felt his ears burn, and he was grateful for the shadow of the tree they were sitting under, as it covered most of his face, possibly hiding his blush from Castiel.
After some thinking Dean pushed himself a little closer to Castiel on the bench. His heart was literally beating in his throat, drumming an agitated staccato. The other man’s closeness hypnotized him, he desperately wanted to close the distance between them, but he wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. So instead of doing that, he moved his fingers, brushing them against Castiel’s hand. He hoped that it looked as unintentional, as he wanted it to, but apparently it didn’t. Castiel entwined their fingers without as much as a second thought, and Dean was sure: from that time on, he would never have to fake anything just to be able to touch Castiel. He turned towards him, reached out and gently caressed Castiel’s stubbled jaw. The other man closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into the touch, and then pressed his mouth against Dean’s, his tongue begging for entrance. Dean’s lips parted, granting access, and Castiel immediately deepened the kiss. They still held hands, not letting go of each other for a second. Dean pulled Castiel closer and closer, until their chests were barely an inch away. He lifted their joined hands and placed it over Castiel’s heart, before burying his other hand into his hair, playing with the dark, silky locks. The kiss lasted for what seemed like an eternity, and when they parted, they both were gasping for air.
“Dean…” Castiel sighed, but Dean stopped him.
“Shh, Cas. Don’t talk, just kiss me again.” He smiled.
“Did you just call me Cas?”
“Yes,” Dean admitted with a sheepish smile. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, it’s just… I haven’t been called Cas in ages, probably since I’m out of suspenders. And school uniforms,” he grinned, “But I like it.”
“Good. Cause it fits you better than your full name.”
Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean again, licking his way into the other man’s mouth. The kisses were making them both a little dizzy because of the lack of air, yet they dived back for more and more, giving and taking, asking and granting. Every kiss felt a little bit better than the one before, yet soon they just weren’t enough. Dean shifted, and pulled Castiel into his lap, so that the other man was straddling his hips. Slowly he let his hand slide down his back, following the elegant curve of his spine. Castiel’s skin was hot even through the fabric of his t-shirt, and Dean wanted to feel, to touch without that cotton barrier, but when he tried slipping his hand under Castiel’s shirt, he was stopped.
“Don’t rush this. We don’t have to hurry… we have time,” Castiel whispered into his ear, breath tickling his skin. After Dean’s answering nod,
Castiel left a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses on Dean’s jaw line and neck, before returning to his lips. Despite Dean’s proximity he shivered, and that snapped both of them out of their lust-induced haze.
“You’re cold,” Dean observed, and Castiel nodded, “We could go in, it’s warmer there.”
“I know, but… if we do that, I’m not sure I can stop myself.”
“You don’t have to stop yourself.” The thought of Castiel taking control, and taking him made Dean’s blood boil.
“I know, but I… I kinda want to. I want this to be more than what I usually have, and if we keep going now, it will be exactly like what I usually have. I know it sounds cheesy, and girly, but I want it to mean something.”
“It’s okay, I know what you mean, and I understand,” Dean answered, and he surprised even himself, because he meant it. If it came from anybody else, rejection would make him annoyed, maybe a little angry too, but with Castiel it wasn’t anything like that. They traded a few more kisses before Dean reluctantly allowed Castiel to pull away.
“Sleep well, Cas.” He smiled, gently caressing his lover’s face before releasing him completely.
“You too.” After Castiel disappeared in the distance and the dark, he climbed back into bed, and slept like a baby until his alarm woke him.
~.~.~.~.~.~The day started out just like every other ordinary weekday, but the horses were restless and fidgety: Dean has never seen them act like that before. Crystal was even more unmanageable than the others, she kept kicking out at Dean. Instead of the usual ten minutes it took to lead the horses out, this time he spent half an hour with that. Dean knew something bad must have happened, but he had no idea what it could be, so after he finally managed to close the pen’s gate behind the last horse, he walked up to the main house. Castiel, Chuck and Becky were all sitting on the terrace, Becky was crying and Chuck’s eyes were red too.
“What happened?” Dean asked when he got near enough for them to hear his voice.
“My goddaughter is missing,” Becky said, and another sob left her lips. Chuck reached out, and pulled his girlfriend into a tight hug. “She was here yesterday afternoon with an older friend of hers. Her friend, Maggie lives two blocks away from her, closer to us, so they parted ways when she arrived home… and Tyler never got back,” she mumbled almost inaudibly, burying her head in Chuck’s shirt. Castiel stood up, and pulled Dean a little aside.
“People are crowding at her home, forming teams searching for her, we could help them. You know the neighborhood well, that could be of importance.”
“Yeah, it could. I’m going to get Crystal and look around, maybe I’ll find something.” Dean turned around, and was just leaving, when Castiel’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.
“I want to come with.”
“Cas, on foot we’d be too slow, and we can’t take a car.”
“I know. I know the basics of riding a horse, don’t I?” After Dean’s tentative nod, Castiel continued. “Okay, no further questions then. I’m going. Maybe I’ll just slow you down, but four eyes see more.”
“There is nothing I can say to talk you out of this, am I right?” Dean asked with a half-smile.
“Yes, you’re right. You know me, stubborn as a mule. So, let’s go.”
This time Castiel seemed to be a little more confident on Gigette’s back, or maybe it was just the adrenaline working, but Dean didn’t have enough time to dwell on that, not in that moment. First they followed the road the two girls must have taken home, but all they found was a faint trail in the dirt that could have been made by Tyler’s bike. In front of Tyler’s house there were a lot of people, trying to coordinate the search parties. It was all surprisingly organized, even though the despair was tangible in the air. Dean and Castiel got the direct neighborhood of the Shurley Estate assigned to them, along with a young woman named Hayley, who was riding a well-muscled gray mare.
It took them the whole day to sweep the area, and they didn’t find anything. The other search parties weren’t any luckier either. There was no sign of Tyler anywhere, it seemed like she just dropped off of the face of the Earth. Becky was devastated by the news, or rather by the lack of news. After Dean de-harnessed and scrubbed down the horses with Castiel’s help, he sank down on a hay bale, pulling his knees up to his chin, and looked up at Castiel. They were both tired and dirty.
“Hey, Cas. You okay?” He asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Exhausted, but other than that I’m fine,” Castiel answered, and Dean knew immediately he was lying.
“You’re a terrible liar, angel. The second time you sat on a horse, you did it for almost a whole day, I’m surprised you’re able to stand.”
“Angel? Is that going to be my new nickname?” Castiel inquired dryly, and he plopped down, right into Dean’s lap.
“Only if you want it to be,” Dean shrugged. “I just remembered I haven’t even kissed you today. That mistake needs to be fixed.” He smiled, and captured his lover’s lips in a short, almost shy kiss. Silently, they sat there for a while, before Castiel stood up and pulled Dean with him.
“Come on, we need to move before we fall asleep right here in this sacred place,” He nudged Dean.
“Yeah, that may be a good idea.” Slowly they walked out of the stable. Dean was on the verge of collapsing, and one look at Castiel told him that he wasn’t better off either.
“I hope someone will find that poor girl,” Castiel broke the silence.
“Me too. Do you want to help tomorrow?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Okay, we’ll go then. By the way, you were great with Gigette today. Not everyone could have done what you did. Learning to steer a horse is usually hard enough on a practice track, and you had to do it on the field,” Dean said, and he patted Castiel’s back approvingly.
“It wasn’t that hard.” Castiel waved his hand. “But thanks anyway.” They stopped to trade a few good-night, sleep-well, and see-you-tomorrow kisses, and then parted ways. After a hot shower Dean all but collapsed into his bed. He wished Castiel was there with him, but soon he fell asleep. He dreamt of Tyler, she was scared and screaming loudly, running from someone and there was a little red bicycle buried in sand… Dean woke up panting. With a desperate sigh he turned around, trying to erase the memory of the depressing dream. He hoped the little girl was okay, even though he felt deep down that she wasn’t. He managed to catch a couple more hours of sleep before his alarm beeped again, telling him to get ready for yet another day.
~.~.~.~.~.~The hope of finding Tyler alive and well diminished with every passing hour, with every day spent on a futile search for her. More and more people were giving up on her, and in the end it was only Tyler’s parents, Becky, Dean and Castiel who kept looking for her, sweeping every place for a second, a third, a fourth time. Chuck and Becky had a huge fight after Chuck said that Tyler was probably dead, and they hadn’t talked in days. Both Dean and Castiel tried their best to fix their relationship, but Becky wasn’t cooperating, even though they convinced Chuck to apologize to her. After another day spent with a futile search for something that wasn’t there, Castiel just broke down. He was aching from all the horse-riding, he was frustrated, sad and also a little angry.
“What could a little girl like Tyler have done to deserve something like this? What did Susan Thompson do to deserve losing her daughter like that? Or Becky? How is that fair?” He yelled, and slammed the saddle down so hard Dean was sure something snapped in it.
“I don’t know Cas, I don’t know. But I don’t think anyone cares about it not being fair. If someone did, it wouldn’t have happened,” he said softly, pulling Castiel close and wrapping his arms around his waist.
“I hate this so much,” Castiel whispered, and laid his head down onto Dean’s shoulder, leaning into the embrace.
“Me too,” Dean caressed his lover’s hair. “We could go to the pond, it always cheers you up. And right now, you need some cheering up. You’re tense like a bow.”
“Okay, let’s go,” Castiel agreed, and taking Dean’s hand into his they made their way to the pond. Ever since Castiel had first seen that little lake, it was his favorite place. He spent hours just sitting on the shore, feet in the water, but sometimes, when he found the temperatures okay, he even swam in it. A few seconds after they reached the pond, Castiel was already knee-deep in the water, shoes thrown onto the shore, jeans rolled up.
“Cas, you sure you weren’t a mermaid in your previous life? Or… I don’t know, a frog maybe?” Dean joked, and Castiel glared at him disapprovingly before flicking a fistful of water towards Dean. Only a couple of drops did actually reach him, but they were cold, and that made Dean shiver. “Oh, two can play this game.” He grinned, and splashed Castiel, covering him in huge wet spots from the waist down.
“You don’t know who you’re messing with,” Castiel hissed playfully, and he kicked out. This time his aim was better, and Dean found himself soaking wet in a matter of seconds. He laughed at Dean’s dismayed face, but when his lover started pouting, his heart dropped, and he went to wrap him into his arms. Apparently that was exactly what Dean was hoping, because the moment Castiel got near enough, he poked into his ribs, making him slip on the wet sand, and he ended up on his backside, sitting in the water.
“That wasn’t exactly fair,” Castiel growled complainingly, but Dean flashed a bright smile at him.
“All is fair in love and war, angel.”
“And which of those was this exactly?” Castiel inquired innocently, and when Dean wasn’t paying attention, he pulled his lover into the water. “Now we’re even,” he announced with a grin, and then pressed a kiss against his lover’s cool lips. Dean shifted, throwing his leg over Castiel’s thighs and straddling his hips. He leaned in for another kiss, and he moaned appreciatively when his wish was granted. Castiel’s closeness was driving him insane, and his hips bucked on their own accord, pressing his groin against his lover’s. After their lips parted, he began kissing his way down Castiel’s neck and shoulder, sticking his nose under his wet shirt. Slowly he began unbuttoning it, but his fingers were numb from the cool water, and trembling with lust, which wasn’t a good combination. To his surprise, Castiel didn’t stop him, and eventually he got the shirt undone, pushing it off of his shoulders, baring his chest. A loud groan left his lips, and he dove down to lick at one of his lover’s already hard nipples. Castiel hissed, and he grabbed a fistful of Dean’s hair, pushing his head and his mouth closer still to his skin. Dean’s tongue on his nipple felt so good, he shivered with lust, goosebumps rising on his arms and his chest.
“Dean…” He keened, and gently pulled at Dean’s hair, making him lift his head so he could kiss him. It was messy, but it was still the best kiss of his life. His hands were roaming over Dean’s back, and he realized he was the only one half-naked. Without thinking he grabbed the hem of Dean’s t-shirt, and pulled it off of him. Dean’s skin was tanned, a warm golden color, and Castiel’s hand looked scarily pale in comparison as he skimmed down over his lover’s breastbone, finally reaching a nipple and flicking it playfully. Dean’s breath hitched, and knowing that it happened because of his touch made Castiel smile. He lifted his hips, pressing insistently against his lover’s body, and when he felt Dean wrap his legs around his waist, he turned them around so it was Dean sprawled under him in the water, where he pushed at him until he lay down on his back. For a while he let his gaze caress every inch of Dean, but he couldn’t stay away from his lips for long. Kissing him hungrily he rubbed his body against Dean’s, skin on skin contact ripping a loud gasp from his throat. He knew they couldn’t stay much longer in the water, it was getting dark and cool, but he tried to make the most of it. Tentative fingers followed the ridges of bones and muscles, cold touches tickled playfully at lust-warmed skin, tongues fought for dominance. It was all a little messy, but it felt amazing, and in that moment Castiel finally felt complete. Dean and him… they fit together like puzzle pieces. They kept kissing as long as they could, but eventually the cold got to them, and reluctantly they walked out of the water. They were both half-naked and shivering, their remaining clothes soaking wet.
“My balls are freezing off,” Dean complained.
“Yeah, I’m not exactly sweating either,” Castiel answered with a small laugh, and he squeezed the water out of his shirt that he was holding in his hands. “Come on, let’s go home.” Quickly they grabbed their scattered belongings, and hurried home. Dean tried to invite Castiel in, but he declined the offer, saying that he needed to check on Becky, and the mention of her brought them back onto the ground of reality. The sadness over Tyler’s disappearance was a constant companion for all of them, but it was even worse for Becky. Next chapter: Chapter 8