Always with you - Chapter 8
Title: Always with you
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural AU/Romance
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Chuck/Becky, Sam/Sarah
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 46400
Warnings: some angst, mentions of violence, implied character death (disappearance)
Previous chapter: Chapter 7
Chapter eight - This time I know it's for real
Dean woke up panting from his dream. It has been ages since he last had one like this. The dream was sultry and erotic, starring Castiel and himself, and it left him excited, hungry and aching for more. He tried to shake off the aftereffects, but all of his efforts were in vain, and with a loud sigh, Dean closed his eyes again. His thoughts turned immediately to Castiel, he could see his lover as clear as day. His bright blue eyes were shining with lust, sweet, swollen cherry red lips curling into a smile, head thrown back, the elegant curve of his neck begging for kisses and soft bites. Dean moaned, trying to keep his emotions under control, but he couldn’t stop fantasizing, and it was starting to make him really hot and bothered. Castiel and he hadn’t even made love yet. Dean wanted it to be perfect, no matter how cheesy that sounded, and in the meantime he couldn’t help but use his fantasy to act these not yet perfect scenarios out.
He imagined Castiel shrugging off his already open button-down shirt with a small movement, baring miles and miles of pale skin, all Dean’s for the taking, tasting and touching. And Dean didn’t waste any time to accept it, daydream so livid he could almost taste Castiel on his tongue, feel his soft flesh under searching, caressing fingertips. He let his hand skim down his chest, but he convinced himself it was Castiel doing that to him, and his breath hitched at the thought. Tentatively he slid his hand down to touch his hardening cock. A loud moan left his lips, and his hips moved forward on their own, pushing intently against his palm, and Dean gave himself over to the fire dancing in his veins, slowly moving his hand over his erection. He imagined taking the black slacks off of Castiel, leaving him naked and trembling with lust in front of him, leaning forward to steal a long, downright filthy kiss… Castiel sucking on his lower lip, and worrying it with his teeth, before sliding down his chest, trying to kiss and lick every part of Dean’s body. The fantasy was so intense that Dean felt the touches, Castiel’s skin sliding against his, slick with sweat, and it didn’t last long before Dean came with a shout, Castiel’s name dying on his lips. The pleasant after-buzz of the orgasm lasted for several minutes, leaving Dean sated and satisfied. After it passed, he took a shower, and got dressed. He was just finishing when someone knocked on his door.
“Who’s that?” He called out before opening the door.
“Dean, it’s me, Castiel, and I come bearing gifts.” Dean could hear the smile in his lover’s voice, and when he opened the door, he saw that Castiel was in fact smiling from ear to ear. “Good morning,” he said kissing Dean quickly on the lips. “I brought you some coffee and a few donuts, I hope you like them.”
“Oh my god, you’re awesome,” Dean moaned appreciatively, and he snatched the paper bag from Castiel’s hand. “Come on in. Have you eaten?”
“Not yet. I thought I’d eat with you, if you don’t mind,” Castiel answered shyly, and he ducked back out to retrieve a second paper cup and a bag of donuts.
“Sneaky,” Dean chuckled, leading Castiel into his kitchen. They ate together, quickly devouring the donuts and the coffee. “Thank you,” Dean said when they finished, and he kissed Castiel, licking his way into his mouth. He tasted like frosting and candy sprinkles, with a hint of coffee and something uniquely Castiel. It was only making Dean hungry for more, and when Castiel pulled away, he groaned indignantly, followed by some pouting.
“Hey, don’t pout, it’s not fair,” Castiel scolded him chuckling with a fond expression, and he leaned back in to get another kiss. After they parted, Castiel stood up to clean up the mess they’d made.
“Cas, do you want to come over later today? We could make some popcorn, watch a movie or something.”
“I would like that.”
“Great. I have a lesson till six, but I’m free after that. We could meet at quarter past six here.”
“Sounds good.”
“Okay then, can’t wait. Now I have to go though, the kids will raise a riot if they don’t get their breakfast in time.”
“I can help.”
If there was a single good thing about Tyler Thompson’s disappearance, it was Castiel’s newfound fondness of horse-riding, and horses in general. He was a quick learner, Dean only had to explain or show him something once before Castiel executed it perfectly, and they both were really surprised at that. Dean had always suspected that Castiel would get the hang of it after he got over his initial fear and discomfort, but this was even better. Everything went quicker when there were two persons working, and it was much more fun too. Dean tried to keep Castiel away from doing the work only Dean was getting paid for, not wanting to exploit his kindness. He didn’t always succeed, but neither of them seemed to really mind that. It was a whole new routine once again, the umpteenth since Castiel had became a part of his life, and he liked it even more than the previous ones.
Around midday Castiel always left for a few hours, trying to find the perfect place for his new office. He was planning on going back to his roots, starting afresh with a different clientele and smaller cases. Usually he took his own car, but after the surprise-breakfast Dean wanted to invite Castiel to lunch, so he tagged along, and they took Dean’s Impala. About half-way to the town Castiel spotted something in the roadside dirt.
“Dean, stop. I think I saw a bike.”
“What?”
“There was something in the dirt back there. It looked like a bicycle.” Dean put the Impala in reverse, and he backed his car, until Castiel pointed at something shiny a few feet away from the road.
“Let’s check it out,” Dean said, and he got out of the car. Castiel followed his example, and they slowly walked towards the object. As they got nearer, it got easier and easier to determine that it was in fact a bicycle, a red child’s bike. “We should stay away from it,” Dean grabbed his lover’s arm, holding him back, “Call the police. We have to stay here until they arrive.” Castiel nodded, and pulled out his cell phone.
It didn’t take more than ten minutes for the police to arrive. A petite brunette officer got out of the car.
“Hello, gentlemen, I’m officer Jody Mills. The crime scene unit will arrive shortly to see if there’s any evidence on the bike. While we’re waiting, can you please tell me how you discovered the object, and if you saw anything else?”
“We didn’t see anything else. We were just driving by, when I saw a weird silvery light from afar. We got nearer, and it looked like it was a bicycle, reflecting the sunlight. I told Dean to stop, and we found this. We didn’t touch anything, didn’t even get really close to it.”
“How close do you live?”
“Around five-six minutes by car, probably…why are you asking?” Dean answered.
“So, not close enough to see this far?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“I see. Please, don’t take this the wrong way, but can I see the trunk of your car?” The policewoman asked.
“Lady, technically you have no right to ask for that, we’re not suspects.” Castiel tried to keep his lawyer self from breaking out, but he couldn’t.
“Cas, it’s okay.” Dean soothed his lover by putting a hand over his heart. “Come on over then.” He opened the trunk, and she took a good, long look at it, before motioning for Dean to close it.
“I’m sorry, I just had to check. My superiors are riding my rear about this case, and I need to take any possible leads into consideration,” she said, and she looked like she really meant it.
“It’s okay. We want to see this case solved too. Tyler’s the goddaughter of a very good friend,” Dean explained, and the policewoman nodded sympathetically.
The crime scene unit showed up shortly after that, and six officers got to work around the half-buried bicycle. They found shreds of clothing, a few drops of blood, and a long brown hair, probably Tyler’s, but no fingerprints… or a body nearby. Dean and Castiel waited until the police bagged up all the evidence they could scour up.
“She’s dead,” Dean muttered when they got back into the car.
“All signs point towards that, Dean, but we can’t give up,” Castiel said, and he caressed Dean’s face in an attempt of calming him.
“I want to know who did this, so I can rip his lungs out.”
“I’m sure you’re not the only one. But we can’t do much about it.”
Right after Dean stopped the Impala in front of the garage, he got out of it, and went to check on the horses. Even without him saying it out loud, Castiel knew he had to leave him alone for a while, so he stayed near the car, waiting for him to return. A few minutes passed in silence before there was an incredibly loud scream to be heard. Worriedly, Castiel set off towards the source of the voice, only to find Chuck’s cat sitting a few feet away from the stable’s gate, paw held against its bleeding nose.
“What are you doing, you stupid thing? It sounded like you were skinned alive…” Castiel mumbled, and he reached out towards the cat. A small, weirdly silvery mouse chose exactly that moment to emerge from under a bush, and in its haste it began to run straight towards the cat. Instinctively, Castiel lifted the cat, and held it tight until the mouse disappeared from their sight. Before that happened though, the mouse looked up at him, an old, wise look in his eyes.
“Go. I know how you felt just now. Go, you’re free. But don’t make any trouble,” he whispered, holding onto the cat even tighter. He got quite a few scratches in the process, but he didn’t let go of the animal. Dean watched the scene from afar, grinning.
“Cas, mice are not exactly welcome around here, you know. So, next time you take away the cat’s lunch, I expect you to consume it. It’s only fair.”
“Okay,” Castiel agreed absentmindedly, and he put the cat down onto the ground. It hissed angrily at Castiel before trotting away, probably in the hope of finding the mouse again.
“Is everything alright?” Dean asked, “You’re bleeding.”
“I’m okay, Dean.”
“Well, don’t take this the wrong way, but you didn’t exactly convince me there. Come on, let me see your arms, those scratches aren’t that nice to look at.”
~.~.~.~.~.~The rest of the day passed by without any special events, and a few minutes after six o’clock Dean was finally done for the day. Usually he let the horses stay longer in the pen, but he had plans for that night, and he wasn’t going to put those on hold for the sake of letting them back into the stable, so he made an exception. He led them back into their stalls, and in exchange for the shortened outside-time they each got a bonus apple. Whistling loudly he started walking towards his house. Looking at his clock, he saw that he had a few minutes before Castiel would arrive, so he hoped he could at least change clothes. As he got nearer to the house, he saw that there was someone laying on the porch swing.
“Oh, come on, you weren’t supposed to be here yet,” he grumbled as he walked up the stairs. He came to a halt, and he smiled down at his sleeping lover. Castiel was laying sprawled on the porch swing, one of his feet dangling in the air at the end of it. The book he’d been reading was on the floor, completely forgotten, but his huge, black-rimmed reading glasses were still sitting on his nose. Dean almost reached out to wake him, but stopped himself before his hand came in contact with Castiel’s skin. Instead of poking him, first he pocketed his glasses, and then carefully he took him in his arms, lifting him off the swing. “C’mon, Sleeping Beauty, let’s get you to bed,” Dean whispered, and Castiel smiled in his dream, instinctively wrapping one of his arms around Dean’s waist, and grabbing his shirt with the other hand. “I swear to God I’m not gonna let you get a second helping the next time Becky cooks pasta for you, your pretty ass is starting to get really heavy,” Dean mumbled, but it didn’t qualify as a complaint, seeing the bright smile on his face. Actually he was happy that Castiel put on some weight, he looked healthier than ever. Of course that didn’t mean that it was easy to carry him up the stairs to his bedroom, but in the end he managed to do it without waking Castiel up. He laid him down onto the mattress, and Castiel curled up into a ball, reaching out for Dean’s pillow and hugging it tightly to his chest.
“Cas, you’re like a friggin’ child sometimes,” Dean smiled. He pulled off Castiel’s shoes and lifted his blanket to cover the other man with it before taking a shower. Under the spray of hot water Dean kept fantasizing about Castiel joining him, about them making love, but Castiel didn’t show, and when Dean emerged from the en-suite bathroom, he saw that Castiel was still asleep, but he shifted, and was currently taking up almost the whole double bed alone. That made Dean grin, and he lay down next to him, pulling him into his arms, until his back was flush against his chest and Dean could spoon against him. Even though this wasn’t really what Dean imagined when he thought about Castiel’s first night in his bed, deep down he had to admit, it was kinda nice to just hold him, listen to his quiet breathing, his scent filling his nose. Dean sighed, and then buried his face in Castiel’s hair, pressing a gentle kiss onto the top of his head, before closing his eyes, trying to fall asleep. Eventually he did, but it didn’t last long. Just a few hours later he was woken up by Castiel, who was shaking badly enough to make the bed move under them.
“Jesus, Cas, what’s wrong?” Dean blinked, blindly groping for the bedside lamp in the dark. Soon a bright light flooded the room, and Dean saw that Castiel was still asleep, probably having the mother of all nightmares. He shook Castiel’s shoulder, trying to wake him up. “Hey, angel, wake up. C’mon, it’s just a nightmare, wake up!” He was starting to freak out when Castiel didn’t respond, but a few seconds later he jerked awake, and stared up at him. His eyes were full of unshed tears, pupils blown in terror, black taking up almost all the blue.
“Dean?” Castiel mumbled, sounding like a frightened child.
“Shh, Cas. It’s okay, angel. I’m here, it was a nightmare. You’re safe, shh,” Dean answered. He pulled Castiel into his arms, one hand gently caressing his lover’s hair, the other wound tightly around his waist. Castiel buried his face into Dean’s neck, and his fingers dug deep into his back, almost painfully, but Dean didn’t pull away. He knew Castiel needed him more than air in that moment, so he held onto his shivering lover. It took more than ten minutes for Castiel to calm down, and Dean tried his best not to think about how long it would’ve taken if he was not there to hold him.
“I’m sorry,” Castiel whispered into Dean’s skin.
“For what, angel?”
“For… all this. I’m damaged goods,” he answered, his voice full of shame, and that broke Dean’s heart.
“Cas. Look at me. C’mon, look at me.” Gently, he forced Castiel to lift his head by pushing at his chin. “You’re not damaged goods. And even if you were… I don’t care. You’re still a keeper, no matter what. Just… please, don’t talk about yourself like that. Not now, not ever. Okay?” He looked deep into his lover’s eyes, trying to tell him everything, without having to use further words. For a while Castiel looked like he was going to argue, but the look in Dean’s eyes convinced him otherwise.
“Okay,” he muttered, barely audibly. “Thank you for being there for me.”
“Always, Cas. I’m always with you. Now sleep.” Next chapter: Chapter 9
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural AU/Romance
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Chuck/Becky, Sam/Sarah
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 46400
Warnings: some angst, mentions of violence, implied character death (disappearance)
Previous chapter: Chapter 7
Chapter eight - This time I know it's for real
Dean woke up panting from his dream. It has been ages since he last had one like this. The dream was sultry and erotic, starring Castiel and himself, and it left him excited, hungry and aching for more. He tried to shake off the aftereffects, but all of his efforts were in vain, and with a loud sigh, Dean closed his eyes again. His thoughts turned immediately to Castiel, he could see his lover as clear as day. His bright blue eyes were shining with lust, sweet, swollen cherry red lips curling into a smile, head thrown back, the elegant curve of his neck begging for kisses and soft bites. Dean moaned, trying to keep his emotions under control, but he couldn’t stop fantasizing, and it was starting to make him really hot and bothered. Castiel and he hadn’t even made love yet. Dean wanted it to be perfect, no matter how cheesy that sounded, and in the meantime he couldn’t help but use his fantasy to act these not yet perfect scenarios out.
He imagined Castiel shrugging off his already open button-down shirt with a small movement, baring miles and miles of pale skin, all Dean’s for the taking, tasting and touching. And Dean didn’t waste any time to accept it, daydream so livid he could almost taste Castiel on his tongue, feel his soft flesh under searching, caressing fingertips. He let his hand skim down his chest, but he convinced himself it was Castiel doing that to him, and his breath hitched at the thought. Tentatively he slid his hand down to touch his hardening cock. A loud moan left his lips, and his hips moved forward on their own, pushing intently against his palm, and Dean gave himself over to the fire dancing in his veins, slowly moving his hand over his erection. He imagined taking the black slacks off of Castiel, leaving him naked and trembling with lust in front of him, leaning forward to steal a long, downright filthy kiss… Castiel sucking on his lower lip, and worrying it with his teeth, before sliding down his chest, trying to kiss and lick every part of Dean’s body. The fantasy was so intense that Dean felt the touches, Castiel’s skin sliding against his, slick with sweat, and it didn’t last long before Dean came with a shout, Castiel’s name dying on his lips. The pleasant after-buzz of the orgasm lasted for several minutes, leaving Dean sated and satisfied. After it passed, he took a shower, and got dressed. He was just finishing when someone knocked on his door.
“Who’s that?” He called out before opening the door.
“Dean, it’s me, Castiel, and I come bearing gifts.” Dean could hear the smile in his lover’s voice, and when he opened the door, he saw that Castiel was in fact smiling from ear to ear. “Good morning,” he said kissing Dean quickly on the lips. “I brought you some coffee and a few donuts, I hope you like them.”
“Oh my god, you’re awesome,” Dean moaned appreciatively, and he snatched the paper bag from Castiel’s hand. “Come on in. Have you eaten?”
“Not yet. I thought I’d eat with you, if you don’t mind,” Castiel answered shyly, and he ducked back out to retrieve a second paper cup and a bag of donuts.
“Sneaky,” Dean chuckled, leading Castiel into his kitchen. They ate together, quickly devouring the donuts and the coffee. “Thank you,” Dean said when they finished, and he kissed Castiel, licking his way into his mouth. He tasted like frosting and candy sprinkles, with a hint of coffee and something uniquely Castiel. It was only making Dean hungry for more, and when Castiel pulled away, he groaned indignantly, followed by some pouting.
“Hey, don’t pout, it’s not fair,” Castiel scolded him chuckling with a fond expression, and he leaned back in to get another kiss. After they parted, Castiel stood up to clean up the mess they’d made.
“Cas, do you want to come over later today? We could make some popcorn, watch a movie or something.”
“I would like that.”
“Great. I have a lesson till six, but I’m free after that. We could meet at quarter past six here.”
“Sounds good.”
“Okay then, can’t wait. Now I have to go though, the kids will raise a riot if they don’t get their breakfast in time.”
“I can help.”
If there was a single good thing about Tyler Thompson’s disappearance, it was Castiel’s newfound fondness of horse-riding, and horses in general. He was a quick learner, Dean only had to explain or show him something once before Castiel executed it perfectly, and they both were really surprised at that. Dean had always suspected that Castiel would get the hang of it after he got over his initial fear and discomfort, but this was even better. Everything went quicker when there were two persons working, and it was much more fun too. Dean tried to keep Castiel away from doing the work only Dean was getting paid for, not wanting to exploit his kindness. He didn’t always succeed, but neither of them seemed to really mind that. It was a whole new routine once again, the umpteenth since Castiel had became a part of his life, and he liked it even more than the previous ones.
Around midday Castiel always left for a few hours, trying to find the perfect place for his new office. He was planning on going back to his roots, starting afresh with a different clientele and smaller cases. Usually he took his own car, but after the surprise-breakfast Dean wanted to invite Castiel to lunch, so he tagged along, and they took Dean’s Impala. About half-way to the town Castiel spotted something in the roadside dirt.
“Dean, stop. I think I saw a bike.”
“What?”
“There was something in the dirt back there. It looked like a bicycle.” Dean put the Impala in reverse, and he backed his car, until Castiel pointed at something shiny a few feet away from the road.
“Let’s check it out,” Dean said, and he got out of the car. Castiel followed his example, and they slowly walked towards the object. As they got nearer, it got easier and easier to determine that it was in fact a bicycle, a red child’s bike. “We should stay away from it,” Dean grabbed his lover’s arm, holding him back, “Call the police. We have to stay here until they arrive.” Castiel nodded, and pulled out his cell phone.
It didn’t take more than ten minutes for the police to arrive. A petite brunette officer got out of the car.
“Hello, gentlemen, I’m officer Jody Mills. The crime scene unit will arrive shortly to see if there’s any evidence on the bike. While we’re waiting, can you please tell me how you discovered the object, and if you saw anything else?”
“We didn’t see anything else. We were just driving by, when I saw a weird silvery light from afar. We got nearer, and it looked like it was a bicycle, reflecting the sunlight. I told Dean to stop, and we found this. We didn’t touch anything, didn’t even get really close to it.”
“How close do you live?”
“Around five-six minutes by car, probably…why are you asking?” Dean answered.
“So, not close enough to see this far?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“I see. Please, don’t take this the wrong way, but can I see the trunk of your car?” The policewoman asked.
“Lady, technically you have no right to ask for that, we’re not suspects.” Castiel tried to keep his lawyer self from breaking out, but he couldn’t.
“Cas, it’s okay.” Dean soothed his lover by putting a hand over his heart. “Come on over then.” He opened the trunk, and she took a good, long look at it, before motioning for Dean to close it.
“I’m sorry, I just had to check. My superiors are riding my rear about this case, and I need to take any possible leads into consideration,” she said, and she looked like she really meant it.
“It’s okay. We want to see this case solved too. Tyler’s the goddaughter of a very good friend,” Dean explained, and the policewoman nodded sympathetically.
The crime scene unit showed up shortly after that, and six officers got to work around the half-buried bicycle. They found shreds of clothing, a few drops of blood, and a long brown hair, probably Tyler’s, but no fingerprints… or a body nearby. Dean and Castiel waited until the police bagged up all the evidence they could scour up.
“She’s dead,” Dean muttered when they got back into the car.
“All signs point towards that, Dean, but we can’t give up,” Castiel said, and he caressed Dean’s face in an attempt of calming him.
“I want to know who did this, so I can rip his lungs out.”
“I’m sure you’re not the only one. But we can’t do much about it.”
Right after Dean stopped the Impala in front of the garage, he got out of it, and went to check on the horses. Even without him saying it out loud, Castiel knew he had to leave him alone for a while, so he stayed near the car, waiting for him to return. A few minutes passed in silence before there was an incredibly loud scream to be heard. Worriedly, Castiel set off towards the source of the voice, only to find Chuck’s cat sitting a few feet away from the stable’s gate, paw held against its bleeding nose.
“What are you doing, you stupid thing? It sounded like you were skinned alive…” Castiel mumbled, and he reached out towards the cat. A small, weirdly silvery mouse chose exactly that moment to emerge from under a bush, and in its haste it began to run straight towards the cat. Instinctively, Castiel lifted the cat, and held it tight until the mouse disappeared from their sight. Before that happened though, the mouse looked up at him, an old, wise look in his eyes.
“Go. I know how you felt just now. Go, you’re free. But don’t make any trouble,” he whispered, holding onto the cat even tighter. He got quite a few scratches in the process, but he didn’t let go of the animal. Dean watched the scene from afar, grinning.
“Cas, mice are not exactly welcome around here, you know. So, next time you take away the cat’s lunch, I expect you to consume it. It’s only fair.”
“Okay,” Castiel agreed absentmindedly, and he put the cat down onto the ground. It hissed angrily at Castiel before trotting away, probably in the hope of finding the mouse again.
“Is everything alright?” Dean asked, “You’re bleeding.”
“I’m okay, Dean.”
“Well, don’t take this the wrong way, but you didn’t exactly convince me there. Come on, let me see your arms, those scratches aren’t that nice to look at.”
~.~.~.~.~.~The rest of the day passed by without any special events, and a few minutes after six o’clock Dean was finally done for the day. Usually he let the horses stay longer in the pen, but he had plans for that night, and he wasn’t going to put those on hold for the sake of letting them back into the stable, so he made an exception. He led them back into their stalls, and in exchange for the shortened outside-time they each got a bonus apple. Whistling loudly he started walking towards his house. Looking at his clock, he saw that he had a few minutes before Castiel would arrive, so he hoped he could at least change clothes. As he got nearer to the house, he saw that there was someone laying on the porch swing.
“Oh, come on, you weren’t supposed to be here yet,” he grumbled as he walked up the stairs. He came to a halt, and he smiled down at his sleeping lover. Castiel was laying sprawled on the porch swing, one of his feet dangling in the air at the end of it. The book he’d been reading was on the floor, completely forgotten, but his huge, black-rimmed reading glasses were still sitting on his nose. Dean almost reached out to wake him, but stopped himself before his hand came in contact with Castiel’s skin. Instead of poking him, first he pocketed his glasses, and then carefully he took him in his arms, lifting him off the swing. “C’mon, Sleeping Beauty, let’s get you to bed,” Dean whispered, and Castiel smiled in his dream, instinctively wrapping one of his arms around Dean’s waist, and grabbing his shirt with the other hand. “I swear to God I’m not gonna let you get a second helping the next time Becky cooks pasta for you, your pretty ass is starting to get really heavy,” Dean mumbled, but it didn’t qualify as a complaint, seeing the bright smile on his face. Actually he was happy that Castiel put on some weight, he looked healthier than ever. Of course that didn’t mean that it was easy to carry him up the stairs to his bedroom, but in the end he managed to do it without waking Castiel up. He laid him down onto the mattress, and Castiel curled up into a ball, reaching out for Dean’s pillow and hugging it tightly to his chest.
“Cas, you’re like a friggin’ child sometimes,” Dean smiled. He pulled off Castiel’s shoes and lifted his blanket to cover the other man with it before taking a shower. Under the spray of hot water Dean kept fantasizing about Castiel joining him, about them making love, but Castiel didn’t show, and when Dean emerged from the en-suite bathroom, he saw that Castiel was still asleep, but he shifted, and was currently taking up almost the whole double bed alone. That made Dean grin, and he lay down next to him, pulling him into his arms, until his back was flush against his chest and Dean could spoon against him. Even though this wasn’t really what Dean imagined when he thought about Castiel’s first night in his bed, deep down he had to admit, it was kinda nice to just hold him, listen to his quiet breathing, his scent filling his nose. Dean sighed, and then buried his face in Castiel’s hair, pressing a gentle kiss onto the top of his head, before closing his eyes, trying to fall asleep. Eventually he did, but it didn’t last long. Just a few hours later he was woken up by Castiel, who was shaking badly enough to make the bed move under them.
“Jesus, Cas, what’s wrong?” Dean blinked, blindly groping for the bedside lamp in the dark. Soon a bright light flooded the room, and Dean saw that Castiel was still asleep, probably having the mother of all nightmares. He shook Castiel’s shoulder, trying to wake him up. “Hey, angel, wake up. C’mon, it’s just a nightmare, wake up!” He was starting to freak out when Castiel didn’t respond, but a few seconds later he jerked awake, and stared up at him. His eyes were full of unshed tears, pupils blown in terror, black taking up almost all the blue.
“Dean?” Castiel mumbled, sounding like a frightened child.
“Shh, Cas. It’s okay, angel. I’m here, it was a nightmare. You’re safe, shh,” Dean answered. He pulled Castiel into his arms, one hand gently caressing his lover’s hair, the other wound tightly around his waist. Castiel buried his face into Dean’s neck, and his fingers dug deep into his back, almost painfully, but Dean didn’t pull away. He knew Castiel needed him more than air in that moment, so he held onto his shivering lover. It took more than ten minutes for Castiel to calm down, and Dean tried his best not to think about how long it would’ve taken if he was not there to hold him.
“I’m sorry,” Castiel whispered into Dean’s skin.
“For what, angel?”
“For… all this. I’m damaged goods,” he answered, his voice full of shame, and that broke Dean’s heart.
“Cas. Look at me. C’mon, look at me.” Gently, he forced Castiel to lift his head by pushing at his chin. “You’re not damaged goods. And even if you were… I don’t care. You’re still a keeper, no matter what. Just… please, don’t talk about yourself like that. Not now, not ever. Okay?” He looked deep into his lover’s eyes, trying to tell him everything, without having to use further words. For a while Castiel looked like he was going to argue, but the look in Dean’s eyes convinced him otherwise.
“Okay,” he muttered, barely audibly. “Thank you for being there for me.”
“Always, Cas. I’m always with you. Now sleep.” Next chapter: Chapter 9