I don't want to be judged today, because I know that if I were on the outside judging me, I would judge me poorly. I so want approval from those closest to me, and yet I haven't earned it. And I don't respect myself, partially because I haven't earned their approval, and partially because I want to earn it in the first place ( Read more... )

Simply by breathing, I am spending money.

I have just returned from a beautiful summer in Cedar Grove at Kings Canyon National Park. It was like a vacation, except that I was working as a park ranger, which was even better. I saw bears, tracked them, chased them out of campgrounds. I witnessed and videoed a helicopter rescue of some lost hikers. I met a lot of cool people. I went into ( Read more... )

Last night I dreamt that I was receiving a diagnosis for severe skin cancer. It was all over my body. The doctors didn't think I would die from it, but the treatment would be very long and very painful, and might leave scarring. And they wouldn't know for sure if they got it all right away. It was quite an unnerving experience. It made me ( Read more... )

Last night I was driving Adam and Lee Ann to Adam's birthday dinner when a valet suddenly opened a door in front of my car and I smashed into it. It wasn't my fault, according to the cops (hopefully insurance will see it that way too). The guy whose car I hit was apparently semi-famous, one Cisco Adler. I have his digits now. I think my ( Read more... )

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A company in Los Angeles is buying blood plasma donations for $45/a pop. This may be my new income for the next month ( Read more... )

Charlene's beautiful art.

She gave me her card, but I never got around to looking.

I wish I had, I find it inspiring.

http://cwsun.com/gallery.php

It came to me the other day ( Read more... )

Charlene Sun is dead. She died in a car accident last night. She was my roommate on a filmshoot and we talked all night. She loved anime and vampires and she used to be a doctor. She hated being a doctor. She loved shooting movies ( Read more... )