Crave
Title: Crave - WIP
Author: Deans Dark Dream & Mica Monroe
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC17 - eventually
Warning: Wincest, slash, love, crave, hurt, comfort, violence
Disclaimer: We own nothing and intend no harm.
Summary: AU When John and Mary Winchester divorced, Sam was raised on the ranch with his father. Dean lived with his mother in the city but visited for a few months each summer. Even though the brothers seemed different as night and day, there was a deep bond between them from the start. Dean knew his love for Sam went beyond brotherly. Will Dean seduce the brother he's forbidden to love to have what he craves?
A/N: In this story Sam is five years older than Dean. We wanted to shake up the dynamic a little between the brothers! We hope you enjoy it! Mica & Dare
Crave
Dean Winchester was thirty years old and facing the end of his life. He was sitting on a plane bound for Springfield, Missouri wishing like hell that he didn't have to fly. Anyone who looked at him could tell he was ill. His skin looked pale, gray and dry. His blond hair was lank and dull. He seemed too thin for his height and there were dark smudges under his muted green eyes. Dean was going home to his brother, Sammy. He was going home to die.
Thirty one years earlier...
Mary Winchester stared in dismay at the bright blue + on the pregnancy test. How could she be pregnant? Her and John were getting a divorce and all they did anymore was fight about everything. Then she remembered the evening of their neighbor's BarBQue party. It had been a warm June night two months ago. They had drank far too much, had a fight and ended up having sex for the first time in months after the party. Her and John were to be at the lawyer's office in three days to sign the divorce papers. If John knew she was pregnant, he would never sign the papers. Mary made up her mind. She wouldn't tell John about the baby. Once the divorce was final and she'd moved back to Chicago, she would pretend she just discovered it. She would share custody of their child with John but she wouldn't raise her baby on this godforsaken ranch in Boaz, Missouri.
A month after the divorce was finalized, John was sitting at the dinner table with his five year old son, Sammy, his cantankerous ranch foreman, Bobby Singer and his housekeeper, Missouri Mosely. The kitchen phone rang and John excused himself to answer it. He was surprised to hear Mary's voice when he picked up the phone and even more surprised to hear the news that she was pregnant. He was torn between joy that they would have another child and sorrow that they wouldn't raise that child together.
~*~
Mary's mother, Deana called John on January 24th to let him know they were taking Mary to the hospital to have their son. John got Sammy and left Bobby in charge of the ranch so he could go and see his baby. John answered about a thousand questions from Sammy on the plane. He was relieved when they touched down at Chicago's O'Hare Airport. John and Sammy only had carry on bags so they went right out to grab a taxi and head for the hospital. When they arrived, Mary's father, Samuel was waiting for them. He nodded to John, hugged Sammy and led them to Mary's room.
Sammy was fascinated by Mary's swollen stomach. He touched it and felt the baby move inside. His eyes got huge and he stared in wonder at his mother's belly. It wasn't long before the nurse said Mary had to be moved to the delivery room. John held Sammy's hand as the watched her be wheeled away down the hospital corridor. Sam sighed and said, “Dad, I wish mom and the baby would come home with us.”
John squeezed Sam's hand and replied, “Me too, Sammy, me too.”
A couple of hours later, John and Sammy saw Dean for the first time. John held his son marveling at the silken blond hair and large bottle green eyes. The baby tried to grab his finger and John smiled. After a few moment he sat down by Sammy and let his older son hold Dean. Sammy was staring down in wide eyed wonder at the pink skinned, green eyed baby. Suddenly, the baby lifted it's hand and touched Sam's face. Sammy smiled hugely and he was sure Dean smiled back at him. It was love at first sight for both of them.
The first three years of Dean's life were spent being visited by and visiting his father and brother. It was obvious to everyone that Sammy and Dean were quite taken with each other and should be able to spend as much time together as possible. Mary and John tried to be civil and compliant to make their boys happy.
When Dean started to go to school, his world changed. He found out that other kids parents lived together. This upset Dean. He wanted his parent's to live together so he could be with Sammah, as he pronounced it. He also met the boy who would become his best friend, Eliot Spencer. The photographer who came to take school photos saw potential in Dean and contacted his mother. Mary took Dean to the John Casablancas modeling agency and he was signed that day. Dean began to do catalog photo shoots for department stores and local commercials. He was a bright, beautiful boy with a sunny disposition and the camera loved him.
Dean was bouncing with excitement when Mary took him to the airport in late May to go spend the summer with his dad and Sammy. Mary went with him so she could spend a week with her oldest son. Mary was a little upset when they arrived and John told her he had bought a hackney pony for Dean. Sammy didn't hug his mother but he did hug Dean when they arrived. Sam grabbed the younger boy's hand and led him to the corral to meet Ace, his pony.
Dean's eyes got huge as he stared at the black pony with white socks on his hind feet. Ace's ears pricked up and he walked over to the fence to greet the boys. Sammy pulled a plastic bag out of his pocket and handed it to Dean. It was four slices of apple to give the pony.
“Thanks, Sammah!” Dean exclaimed as he took the bag and got out a piece of apple. “Hi, Ace, I'm Dean. We're gonna be buddies.” Dean stated with complete confidence as he held his palm up with the apple slice on it.
Ace sniffed Dean then began to snuffle in his hand for the apple slice. His velvety soft muzzle tickled Dean's hand and the boy let out a delighted giggle. Ace snagged the apple and looked down at Dean with large dark brown eyes. Dean was already putting another slice of apple on his palm for the pony. Sammy smiled as he watched Dean feed Ace. He couldn't wait til he and Dean could go out riding together. They had a lot of lost time to make up for that summer.
~*~
John was a fine horseman and had taught Sam well. He decided to observe as his oldest son taught his youngest to ride. He and Sam had larger horses and used Western style saddles. For Dean and his fine boned pony, they had bought an English style saddle that was lighter. Sammy had ridden Ace before they had purchased him. John had wanted to make sure the pony would be manageable for his youngest son. Mary watched anxiously from the farm house as Sam cupped his hands and popped Dean up onto Ace's back. Dean got his feet in the stirrups and gathered the reins in his hands. Sam stepped back and told Dean to tighten his knees a little so Ace would start walking. Dean did as he was told and Ace began to walk around the corral with long fluid strides. Dean flashed a dazzling smile at John as he went past on the flashy pony. Mary had to smile. Dean did look dashing in the saddle.
Dean took to riding like a duck to water. He seemed to move and communicate his wishes effortlessly with Ace. By the end of the lesson, Sammy was sure that, the next day, they would be able to go riding on their own. When John said they needed to go in for lunch, Dean dismounted and hugged Sam who was there to take the reins.
“Can we ride down to the creek later?” Dean asked almost bouncing with excitement.
“Dad?” Sam asked looking at John.
“Let's talk about it after lunch.” John said putting off the question for now. When Dean came out of the corral, he hugged his dad hard.
“I love Ace! Thanks, Dad!” Dean exclaimed as John held him tight.
Mary returned to Chicago a few days later. Sam and Dean settled into a comfortable routine. They would do their chores early in the morning then saddle up for a ride. They would wander over hills and through woods but they would always end up at the creek. They loved to skinny dip and rough house in the water. Missouri had given them beach towels cause she knew about them swimming in the creek. When Dean and Sam had exhausted themselves, they would lay on the towels in the sun and dry off before getting dressed and going back to the ranch.
As the weeks til fall school term grew short, Dean got sadder and sadder. One week before he had to leave, they were lying on their thick beach towels in the blazing August sun and Dean exclaimed. “I don't want to go back, Sammah! I want to stay here. I'll miss you so much and Ace will forget me!”
“I don't want you to go either, Dean. Dad's not the same when you're not here. We can barley talk to each other. We're all happy when you're here, even Bobby.”
“I like when Bobby makes up swears so he can cuss in front of me!” Dean said giggling. “Holy flucking snit, ruck me, dastard and son of an itch!” Dean did a passable imitation of the bearded foreman.
Sam laughed and shook his head. “Don't let Bobby or Dad hear you say that! He'll tan your hide in the smoke house for sure!”
On Dean's last day, the Winchester men began a family tradition. They launched a model rocket together and watched as it disappeared into the deep blue sky. As it launched, they all high fived and yelled 'Go Team Winchester'. It was always the same formation. Sammy on the left, Dean in the middle and John on the right. They speculated as to how high the rocket flew and where the parts would land. Dean would make up wild tales about how a part would land on an island and the monkeys there would make a tool from it that would change their lives. Sam would go along with the idea and add to it. John would ask the boys questions that kept the conversation going far into the night. They would all treasure the memories of those nights as time went by.
As the years passed, Dean and Sammy grew closer and closer while Sammy and John grew further and further apart. Dean was always breaking up their fights or negotiating a truce. His dad and brother were both strong willed alpha males and they needed someone to intervene and keep the peace. Dean just naturally took that role which Sam and John were both thankful for. When Dean was ten, he went though another set of life changes. Dean came to the personal realization that he was gay and Mary married a man he didn't like or trust. Dean went from being a giggly happy sunshine boy to a sullen morose emo boy practically overnight. He barely left his room except for school. Mary was seriously worried about her beautiful son but her new husband assured her that all kids Dean's age were like that.
The highlight of Dean's life were the summer's spent with Sammy and his dad. He would come out of his shell and smile again while at the ranch. Sam was dating girls now and Dean didn't like that one bit. It took away from the time Dean could spend with his brother which he felt was too limited already. He and Sammy began to argue about it which left Dean feeling miserable. Dean started to spend more time with John. His father had been restoring a wrecked 67 Chevy Impala that he'd bought from a salvage yard. Sam and Bobby helped too but during the summer Dean was always on hand when Sam was busy with a girl.
Dean's life with Mary and his step dad grew worse when the man started drinking heavily. The man started to yell at Dean all the time accusing him of all sorts of things that weren't true. Dean stayed in his room a lot or spent weekends away visiting his friend Eliot.
One night, when Dean was fourteen, Mary was called away to her parent's house and he was left alone with his stepfather, Gary. The older man had been drinking for awhile and thinking about how his life had gone downhill since he married Mary. He was feeling mean and spiteful as he pushed his way into Dean's room. The boy's room was neat and orderly which somehow offended the man even more. Dean cringed when the door flew open and slammed back into the wall. His stepfather was tall and solidly built where Dean was slim and fine boned. He felt panic as Gary walked with unsteady steps towards his bed. Dean jumped out of bed and tried to run but the room was small and Gary's hand grabbed his shoulder in a vice grip.
“You're not going anywhere, you little bitch!” Gary yelled as he shoved Dean back full force into the wall.
Dean's head bounced off the wall and he reeled from the impact. He swayed on his feet as Gary stepped up and slapped him hard across the right cheek then the left. “You're the problem here! Your mom coddles you and carries on like you're the king shit but I know what you are! You're a bitch and I'm gonna treat you like one.” Gary's meaty hand slammed into Dean's face again and the boy went down. “Get up bitch or I'll kick you.”
Dean was scared. His step father was drunk and out of control. He had to get away from him. Dean rose unsteadily to his feet and started to back away from the older man. Gary was right there and grabbed his shoulders. He turned the boy and pulled his arm up behind his back putting agonizing strain on the boy's shoulder. Gary shoved Dean into the wall and leaned hard agains this shoulder. Dean cried and pleaded with him, then they heard Mary's voice calling out to them.
“If you tell your mother, I will take you to the garage and pull out all your teeth with my pliers.” Gary threatened in a harsh ragged voice, then he released Dean and stepped out the door to greet Mary.
Dean walked on unsteady legs to his bed and collapsed on it. Tears streaked his freckle dusted cheeks as he curled up on his side and cried. After that night, Dean became very accomplished at avoiding his stepfather.
~*~
Dean was fifteen and spending spring break at Christian's house when his life changed irrevocably. Christian's dad had been teaching them how to play Texas Hold'em that night when there was a heavy knock at the door. Dean had had a bad feeling all day and his stomach churned when the door opened to reveal two state troopers. There had been a car accident. His mom and stepfather had both died at the scene. The world grayed out an Dean sank blissfully into oblivion.
John and Sam arrived within a few hours to look after Dean. The three of them sat on the sofa in Mary's living room. Sam and John book ended Dean who was slumped in misery between them. Sam and John were hurting too but it was Dean they were most worried about. It seemed the only time Sam and John could agree on anything was when it had to do with the youngest Winchester. He united them and kept them from tearing each other apart.
When the funeral was over and John, Dean, Sam, Deana and Samuel had all arrived back at their house, Dean told John he wanted to go home. John told him they had to stay at least for an hour, for the wake, then they would go back to Mary's house. Dean looked up at his Dad and told him he wanted to go to his real home, the ranch in Boaz. John hugged Dean tight and promised to get him there as soon as possible.
~*~
Sam and Dean's bedrooms had a connecting bathroom between them. Sam had left the doors open so he could keep an eye on his younger brother. The oldest Winchester brother had grown tall and strong. He was twenty years old now and was starting to take over more responsibilities on the ranch. He knew Dean was great with horses. Sam had decided to get him started helping to train them right away. He wanted to keep Dean busy so he could get past the awful grief that was tearing him apart. He heard Dean cry out and jumped out of bed to go to him.
Sam knew Dean was having a nightmare. He sat on the bed beside his younger brother and hugged him. He talked to him in a low soothing voice and Dean's breathing evened out as he calmed down. Sam was feeling low himself. He had spent a lot of years resenting his mother for what she had done. He had even come close to hating her for breaking up their family and keeping Dean away so much of the time. Sam felt awful that he'd never had a chance to work things out with her. Now there were no more chances. Sam settled down on the bed beside Dean and held him. He wanted to stay for awhile until he was sure that Dean was alright.
When Dean woke up, he felt arms around him. He was snuggled up to Sammy with his head resting on his brother's t-shirt covered chest. Dean wasn't upset. In fact, it felt incredibly good to have Sammy holding him. So good that he was hard. Dean started to panic at the thought of Sam waking up and finding him in that condition. He started thinking about horrible pictures he'd seen a medical textbook at Eliot's house and his erection started to deflate. He leaned up a little so he could look at his brother. He'd always thought Sam was gorgeous. He loved everything about his brother, the blue green slightly slanted eyes, the lightly curved lips, the thick wavy sable hair, and the awesome hard body. Oh god, he was getting hard again! Dean took a few deep breaths and revisited the disgusting medical text.
He was wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Sure, he was gay but that wouldn't make him attracted to his brother. He had lots of guy friend's he wasn't sexually attracted to. There had been a guy on the basketball team at school that he'd liked. The boy was tall, well built and had dark hair like Sam. Oh shit, like Sam! I'm a perv and I'm going to hell. Dean thought miserably as he looked at Sam's face again and felt an almost undeniable urge to kiss him and find out what Sam tasted like. Dean froze as a battle raged inside him. He finally calmed himself and laid his head back down on Sam's solidly muscled chest. He needed to find a boyfriend, who wasn't his brother, and fast!
~*~
A few days later, Dean was exercising one of the horses on a longe line when a red and black truck pulled up beside the barn. He watched as a dark haired guy in tight jeans got out and walked towards Sammy. Sam greeted him and they walked into the barn together. Dean released the mare back into the pasture and went into the barn to get a better look. Sam saw him standing at the doorway and waved him in.
“Dean, this our ferrier, Axel Palmer. He's Kerr's son.” Sam explained when Dean looked at him puzzled. Kerr had been the ferrier on the ranch for as long as Dean could remember.
“Nice to meet you, Axel.” Dean said politely as he held out his hand.
“Everybody calls me Axe. It's good to finally meet Sam's kid brother. I was sorry to hear of your Mom's passing.” Axe said as he shook Dean's hand.
Dean felt a current pass between him and the older man as their hands clasped. He looked up into sparkling blue eyes that were sincere and flickered with something that Dean couldn't define.
“Thank you.” Dean said and licked his lips that had suddenly gone dry.
Axe stared at Dean's mouth then looked back up at his face. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to kiss those perfectly shaped lips and have them wrapped around his dick. He felt his cock twitch with interest and realized he'd been holding onto Dean's hand a little too long. Axe released his grip and smiled. “Do you like movies, Dean?” He asked trying to appear casual.
Sam was watching the interaction between Dean and Axe. Something was going on here but he wasn't sure what.
“Yeah! I love movies! Sometimes, we all go to the drive in at Republic. I always make Dad and Sammy stay for both movies!” Dean answered with a dazzling smile.
Christ, Axe thought, that smile could stop your heart. “I go just about every weekend. Maybe we could hang out there together. I could pick you up Friday night since you don't have a license yet.” Kerr said with a brilliant smile of his own.
“That would be very cool. My best friend, Eliot, lives in Chicago and I don't know a lot of people here. What time will you be here Friday?”
“I'll drop by around 7:30.” Axe replied smoothly.
“See ya then.” Dean said with a happy grin and went off to finish exercising the horses.
Sam was a little stunned. Had Axel Palmer just asked his baby brother out on a date? And why did that thought make Sam seeth with something suspiciously like jealousy? Axe smiled at him and went to the first stall to get the horse out. Sam nodded curtly and turned away. He strode out of the barn quickly and his gaze fell on Dean. His younger brother was walking up to another mare talking to her. Sam could see the horse's ears flicking as she raised her head to greet him.
Sam had always thought Dean was beautiful, just like their mom. Sam was confused by how he felt about Dean going out with Axe. He had heard rumors that Axe liked boys but he'd never paid attention to that type of thing. He imagined Dean in the truck with Axe after the movies ended. He pictured Axe pulling off on Sugarcreek road and parking with Dean as Sam had done with girlfriends in the past. Sam started to get hard thinking of kissing Dean, pushing him down on the seat and pressing their bodies together. Sam's cheeks burned with shame. He was fantasizing of making out with his baby brother for god's sakes and he wasn't even gay! Dean, who he adored and would never let anyone harm. Sam ran a shaking hand through his hair, blew out a breath and headed towards the farm truck. He'd go out and mend the fence line. He needed some time to himself.
~*~
When Friday night rolled around, Sam was waiting to intercept Axe as he pulled up in front of the ranch house. Axe got out of his truck and smiled at Sam.
“Hey Sam, how's it going.”
“I can't complain. I just wanted to have a little conversation with you about Dean.” Sam said as he blocked Axe's path to the house.
“What about, Dean?” Axe asked as me met Sam's intense eyes.
“Dean is only fifteen. Which means, if you mess with him, you'll go to jail.”
“Who says I'm gonna mess with him?” Axe asked looking pointedly at Sam.
“I also want you to know that if you hurt him, I'll beat you so bad your own dog won't recognize you. Is that clear, Axel?” Sam was leaning in dangerously close now using his size to intimidate the other man.
“As glass. Now, if you'll excuse me, I don't want to be late for the movies.” Axe said stepping to the side of Sam.
“What are you going to see tonight?” Sam demanded.
“The Talented Mr. Ripley and American Beauty.” Axe tossed over his shoulder as he walked away.
The door burst open before Axe could knock and Dean was there wearing faded blue jeans and a blue t-shirt. “Hi, Axe! I'm all ready to go!” Dean was all smiles and Axe stared at him for a moment before responding.
“Hey Dean! Let's round em up and head em out!” Axe replied returning the smile.
“The movies are over at 1:45. You should be home no later than 2:30.” Sam said sternly.
Dean went over and hugged his brother. He looked up at him and said. “You don't have to worry, Sammy. I'll be okay. I'll be home before you know it.”
Sam couldn't help but smile at Dean and hug him back. “Enjoy the movies.” He said and stepped back so Dean could go.
Sam watched Axe and Dean drive away with a strange ache in his heart. Why did it feel like he was losing his brother?
CRAVE - Part 2