Crave - Part 3
Title: Crave - WIP - Part 3
Author: Mica Monroe & Deans Dark Dream
Pairing: Sam/Dean, mentions of Sam/Jess
Rating: NC17
Warning: Wincest, slash, love, crave, hurt, comfort, angst
Disclaimer: We own nothing and intend no harm.
Summary: AU After Sam and Dean became lovers, Dean knew everything would change. Sam was convinced everything had to stay the same. It was inevitable that one of them would have to break.
A/N: We warned everyone this was coming so please don't hate us. (offers Godiva chocolates and runs for cover) Mica & DDD
Crave
When Sam woke up a couple of hours later with Dean pressed up close against his side, he was wracked with guilt and regret. He looked down at his baby brother sleeping peacefully and tears stung his eyes. He was supposed to protect Dean but he hadn't been able to control himself. Sam felt sick and twisted by this crazy desire for his beautiful brother. He pulled away from Dean physically and emotionally at that moment. Sam had to end this no matter how much it hurt both of them. Sam went to his own bed where it took quite some time for him to clear his mind and fall into a fitful sleep.
Sam woke again. This time to the pleasant sensation of velvety skin and stroking fingers. His eyes flew wide and he looked down in the soft light of dawn to see Dean holding their cocks together and stroking them.
“Dean, what are you doing?” Sam gasped as he took the incredibly erotic sight of Dean masturbating both their pricks.
“It's called frottage, Sammah. Feels amazing doesn't it?” Dean practically purred as he rhythmically squeezed and stroked their hard cocks.
Sam had to admit to himself that the sensations were extremely stimulating. The feel of velvety skin, of desire thickened sleek flesh encased in exquisite pressure and friction was amazing. No girl had ever made him feel this either. What the hell was Dean doing to him? He should be stopping this but he just wanted more of what his baby brother was so willingly giving him. Sam looked down as Dean looked up and their eyes locked. Sam felt all rational thought leave him and gave in completely to the pleasure he was receiving. It didn't take long for Dean's sure strokes and squeezes to trigger Sam's release.
“I'm gonna come, Baby.” Sam cried out, not even aware of the endearment that rolled naturally off his tongue.
“Me too!” Dean gasped as they both shot pulse after pulse of thick cream between them. The milky ropes of fluid striped their chests and finally streamed down over Dean's clutching fingers. The blond boy released their dwindling cocks and lifted his come covered hand to his plush lips. He looked into Sam's lust blown eyes as he kitten licked off all the cream. Sam moaned and reached for his baby brother.
“Christ, you're sexy.” Sam declared and claimed his brothers mouth in a scorching kiss.
~*~
A couple of days later, Dean and Sam were mucking stalls in the barn. When they had finished the last stall, and spread out fresh straw. Dean told Sam to have a seat cause he had a surprise for him. Sam had learned to like Dean's surprises so he sat willingly. Dean stepped outside the door to the stall and pressed play on the cd player he had placed their earlier.
Sam heard the music for My Sharona begin to play. Dean strutted into the stall and began to sing the song with custom lyrics written just for his older brother.
Ooh my sexy brother you're the one, sexy one.
When you gonna give me some time, Sammah?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the line Sammah
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of your hand each time. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sammah...
Come a little closer huh, ah will ya huh.
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sammah.
Keeping it a mystery gets to me
Running down the length of my thighs, Sammah
Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch
of your hand each time. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sammah...
When you gonna give it to me, give it to me.
It is just a matter of time Sammah
Is it just destiny, destiny?
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sammah?
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of your hand each time. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sammah..
Sam was almost hypnotized by Dean's fluid sexy dance moves and breathy sexy voice as he performed the song. Dean had moved closer and closer so that as the last note ended he sank down on Sam's lap and kissed him sweetly, almost chastely. When he pulled back, he was smiling at Sam. Sam couldn't help but smile back and run his fingers through Dean's silky blond hair.
“You are such a dork.” Sam said said but he was pleased that Dean had sang especially for him.
“I'm adorkable and you love it!” Dean said with a huge happy grin lighting up his face.
“Yes, god help me, I do.” Sam rasped as he pulled Dean in close for a deep kiss.
When they pulled apart to take in air, Dean turned serious. “Axe is coming back tonight from the ferrier conference in Kentucky. I'm gonna break up with him. I just wanted you to know.”
“Don't do that, Dean. I'm sure not gonna stop seeing, Jess.”
Dean stood up and backed a few feet away from Sam. “What do you mean you're gonna still see, Jess? We're together now, Sam.”
Sam hated the look of betrayal on Dean's face but he had to make him understand. “We're not together, Dean. We're not a couple. Whatever this thing is between us, no on can ever know about it. We have to go on with our lives like it doesn't exist. You have to see Axe and I have to see Jess. Nothing changes.” Sam said firmly as he stood up.
“Is that really how you want it to be, Sam? You fucking Jess, Axe fucking me, both of us fucking each other? You could live with that, cause I can't. I'm in love with you, Sam. I don't want anyone else to fuck me. If you really loved me, you'd find a way for us to be together. I'm not gonna be your fuck buddy, Sam. Either we're together or we're not.” Dean felt his heart breaking and he hoped Sam would throw him a rope and save him here.
“We're not together, Dean. We never will be.” Sam said then walked away.
Dean sat down in the straw, lowered his head into his hands and wept.
~*~
When Axe saw Dean, he knew something was terribly wrong. Dean greeted him with a hug and a smile but it never touched his eyes or lifted the sadness there. They got in the truck and Axe asked Dean where he wanted to go. Dean told him to Pecker's Beach. Axe started the truck and turned on the radio. He knew this drive would be made in silence.
Local legend was that Floyd Pecker had bought two hundred and fifty forty pound sand bags to protect his farm from a spring flood fifty years ago. The flood didn't happen and some area teenagers snagged the sand bags and took them to a stream that ran about five miles from Pecker's farm. The teens ripped open all the sand bags and made a beach front up to the stream. Pecker's beach was born and had been a hot spot for a few years. The current generation had pretty much forgotten about it. They were too busy playing video games to bother with a fake beach.
Dean hopped out of the truck as soon as Axe pulled up and stopped. Axe followed right after him. Dean went down to the sandy area close to the partially frozen stream and listened to the water gurgling over rocks under a layer of ice.
“What is it, Dean? What happened?” Axe said concern heavy in his voice.
Dean looked up at him with tears streaming down his cold pinked cheeks. “I'm so sorry, Axe. I'm in love with someone and I can't see you anymore. I just feel like such a shit cause you've always been so good to me. I hope you can forgive me. Please, Axe. Don't hate me.” Dean was openly weeping now.
Axe felt a jagged lance of pain pierce him at Dean's words. He had always known he was more emotionally invested in their relationship than the younger man but he'd thought, with time, that would change. A part of him was angry, not at Dean, but at the man Dean had fallen for. Axe looked into Dean's tear ravaged face and couldn't stop himself from hugging the younger man and reassuring him.
“Dean, I'm not gonna lie and say I'm okay with this but I don't hate you. I could never hate you. Whoever this guy is, I hope he treats you right, Dean. I hope you'll be happy.”
This didn't have the desired effect as Axe heard Dean wail and felt him hug him even tighter. Axe petted Dean's hair and tried to calm him down. Dean cried for a long while, holding onto Axe like a lifeline the entire time. When the younger man finally started to pull away, Axe let him go.
“You're too good to me, Axe. I really am sorry. I just wanted to be honest with you. You deserve that. I hope we can still be friends. I know how lame that sounds but I mean it.” Dean was looking up at Axe earnestly.
“Dean, I do want to stay friends but you're gonna have to give me a little time. It's not gonna be easy getting over this.” Axe replied as his throat constricted and his eyes pricked with unshed tears.
~*~
As the months passed, John grew more and more concerned about his youngest son. His Sunshine Boy had withdrawn from all of them. He didn't come bounding in to breakfast anymore. He didn't laugh or joke around around and rarely smiled. John could see and feel the tension between Sam and Dean. He'd tried to talk to them about it but had gotten nowhere. His home that had once been filled with laughter and sunshine smiles was silent and cold. As summer turned back to fall John really noticed how thin Dean had become. He didn't know what to do. Dean had always been so happy and easy to talk to now he was distant and uncommunicative.
In January, John approached Dean about having a seventeenth birthday party but Dean flat out refused. John tried once again to talk to him and Dean dropped a bomb on him.
“Dean, this can't continue. You have to tell me what's going on. You used to be so happy and now it's like the light has gone out in your eyes. Isn't there anything I can do to help?” John looked beseechingly at his youngest son.
Dean was tired and heart sick and bone weary of being an emotional wreck. He looked his father in the eye and told him his secret. “I'm gay, dad and I'm in love with a guy I can't ever have. That's why I'm so miserable. That's why I don't want to talk or have a party. I just want to be left alone with my pain.”
John's mouth fell open on a gasp of surprise. “You're gay? Are you sure?” John asked numbly.
“I love cock. I'm pretty sure that makes me gay. So go ahead. Kick me out of the house. Call me names. Do whatever you have to do. I can't pretend anymore.” Dean said wearily.
“I'm not gonna kick you out, Dean. It's just a lot to process. I just have to wrap my head around it.” John said quietly running a hand through his gray streaked hair.
The gesture reminded Dean of Sam and he looked away. “I have to leave here, Dad. I have to go somewhere that I don't have to be in stealth mode all the time. I think you can tell how miserable I've been. It would be the best thing for all of us. I'll wait til school's out, then I'll go.” Dean said looking down at his feet.
John's heart was breaking. He was losing his son! He had a feeling, if Dean walked out that door, he'd never see him again. “I guess I can't change your mind by telling you I don't want you to go. Do you have a plan, Dean? You'll just be seventeen. What will you do for a job? Where will you live?”
A modeling agency in Los Angeles saw some of my portfolio photos and offered me a job there. They'll pay for my plane ticket out. I have money saved from when I modeled before and Mom's insurance. I'll be fine, Dad, really.” Dean said as he stepped forward and hugged John tight.
When Sam came home that night he was more than a little drunk and in a foul temper. Jess had broken up with him saying he just wasn't the same guy and hadn't been for a long time. He strode into the house and slammed the door. He looked over to see his dad swigging Johnnie Walker Black scotch straight out of the bottle. That stopped him in his tracks for a moment. Sam had never seen his dad wasted like this before. He walked over the sofa and looked down at John.
“What are you doing?” Sam demanded glaring at John.
“Mary left. You're never around and now Dean's on his way out forever. Everyone leaves me. I'm gonna grow old here all alone.” John replied as he looked up at his oldest son.
“You need to get a grip. Dean's not going anywhere!” Sam declared wondering what the hell had gotten into his father.
“He's going to Los Angeles as soon as schools out. I'll probably never see him again.” John said as a tear welled up, spilled over his lashes, ran down his cheek and into his beard.
The words hit Sam like a punch in the gut. He turned and ran down the hall to Dean's room. He flung open the door and walked in closing and locking it behind him. He hadn't been in this room since the night he'd has sex with his brother. He walked up to the side of the bed, leaned down and shook Dean's shoulder. Dean stirred and finally opened his eyes.
“Sammah?” Dean asked sleepily with a puzzled look on his face.
“What is this shit about you leaving and going to LA?” Sam demanded as his fingers dug painfully into Dean's thin shoulder.
“You're hurting me, leg go.” Dean tried to pull free but couldn't break Sam's iron grip.
“Answer me!” Sam growled.
“I'm going to LA to work for Top Models there.” Dean said through clenched teeth.
“So you go, get your picture taken on some beach, then you come home in fall. What's Dad's deal?” Sam said releasing his punishing grip on Dean's shoulder.
“It's not like that, Sam. I'll be going to other cities and other countries. I won't be coming back for a long while.”
Sam froze in shock for a moment. Dad had been right. Dean was leaving. Sam took a step back and tried to breathe. The thought of Dean leaving made his soul bleed but it was for the best. Living in denial of what had passed between them was killing both of them. If Dean got away, he'd have a chance at happiness. Sam took another deep breath. He was the older brother. He had to do the right thing here and let Dean go no matter how deeply it hurt him.
“Drop us a postcard from, Paris and smuggle us back a bottle of wine.” Sam tossed over his shoulder as he forced himself to walk casually out the door.
Sam walked back out to the living room and sat on the sofa by his dad. He held out his hand and John passed him the bottle.
“Did you know Dean's gay?” John asked as Sam passed the bottle back.
“I was aware.” Sam said but didn't elaborate.
I'm worried, Sam. Dean's so young and beautiful. What if that place chews him up and spits him out? I just want him to be safe and happy. I love him.” John said as another tear spilled down his cheek.
“I do too, Dad. I do too.” Sam said softly around the lump in his throat.
That night changed John and Sam's relationship. They bonded and became closer. It was like they knew how much they would need each other after Dean was no longer their to bridge the gap between them.
~*~
Dean had been in LA for a month when he got a call from Top Models asking him to come in for a meeting with the company's co-owners Eric Kripke and Sera Gamble. Dean was nervous. He'd been sent out on several shoots in the past month and he thought they'd gone well. He hoped he wasn't going to be fired. Dean dressed in cream colored slacks and a jade polo shirt that deepened the color of his eyes. He spritzed himself with Obsession cologne and checked himself out in the mirror. He liked how his tan made his skin seem to glow. He smiled, then left his apartment and drove to the studio in a rental car.
Dean was ushered into a conference room and told Eric and Sera would be right with him. Dean was glad they didn't keep him waiting long. He stood up to greet Sera and Eric as they came in and firmly shook their hands. They were pleasantly surprised by the young model's courtly manners and smiled approvingly.
“Dean, we're gonna cut right to the chase here. Do you know who Dax is?” Eric asked.
Of course, Dean knew who Dax was! Dax wasn't just a model, he was an icon of the industry. He was top cock of the model world. Dax was a blond adonis that men and women the world over were obsessed with Dax was a god.
“I've never met him but I know he's the top male model in the world.” Dean stated simply.
“That's right. His ads for Calvin Klein were epic! We've just gotten an exclusive contract with Cocksox. They want two hot blond studs for their new ad campaign. We were thinking it would be Dax and you.” Sera announced with a huge smile.
“Seriously, me and Dax? When would the campaign start?” Dean asked his face glowing with excitement.
“Well, there is one small wrinkle to iron out first.” Eric said with an apologetic smile. “Dax likes to work alone and he's not pleased with this arrangement. He insisted on meeting you in person before he'd sign. Dax can be a bit temperamental. We have to accommodate him as much as possible.” Eric said trying to be diplomatic.
“So, what you're saying is he's a prima donna and expects everyone to bow at his feet and do what he says.” Dean observed.
“Pretty much, yeah.” Sera said. “Should we bring him in now?”
“I'm ready.” Dean said with a nod.
Dax strutted in the room a moment after Sera called his phone. Dean had seen lots of photos but nothing had prepared him for the sheer beauty and perfection of the man who entered the room with long confident strides. The older blond walked right up to Dean and stopped only inches away.
“So you're the blond haired country boy everyone's been raving about.” Dax leaned in and sniffed Dean's hair then neck. “Mmm..sunshine, cinnamon and Obsession.” Dax sighed as a look of naked longing crossed his face for a brief moment.
Dean saw the look and he realized that Dax wasn't really this guy who was putting on this show for him, Sera and Eric. There was something more behind the mask of arrogance and entitlement and that he showed the world. When Dax backed up a step, Dean offered his hand to the man and Dax took it with a genuine smile.
“My name is Dean Winchester. I'm looking forward to working with you.” Dean gave Dax his most brilliant smile.
“I'm looking forward to working with you too. We're gonna be the Cocksox Topcox Dynamic Duo.” Dax turned to Eric and Sera. “He's perfect. Sign Dean up and add 25% to his contract. He's worth every penny.” Dax looked at Dean again. “You and I are gonna cause an international sensation, count on it!” Then he tipped Dean a wink and was gone.
“OMG! He liked you! Dax never likes anyone! This is gold!” Sera gushed as she high fived with Eric.
“We're all gonna be rich!” Eric said with a huge smile. “I hope you're ready for this kid. In a months time, you are gonna be a super star!”
Dean soon found out that Eric wasn't kidding. He and Dax filmed music videos with Madonna (Bedtime Story), Jennifer Lopez (I'm Real) and U2 (Beautiful Day). They did a guest shot on Saturday Night Live as Chippendale dancers that brought down the house. Their first photo shoot from Cocksox was featured in clips on the Daily Show and David Letterman where they were interviewed about being the sexiest male models in the world and did an impromptu strip tease to show off the newest Cocksox Kingcox line of bikini briefs. Cocksox began a website dedicated to their Topcox, Dax and Dean. Soon the media and hundreds of fan sites had dubbed them D2. Everywhere they went, frenzied D2 fans vied for photos and autographs. Everything in Dean's life was changing except one. He was still in love with his brother.
CRAVE - Part 4
