IMPULSE
Title: Impulse - Part 4
Authors: Deans Dark Dream & Mica Monroe
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC17
Warning: J2, slash, angst, hurt, comfort, heart break
Disclaimer: We own nothing and intend no harm.
Summary: AU Jensen Ackles decides to do something impulsive on his 28th Birthday that will have unexpected repercussions when he meets his new boss Jared Padalecki. Jensen can't fight the attraction he feels to the older man, but as he discovers more about Jared's life he believes the man is living a lie. Jensen may discover that losing your heart is the price you pay for acting on impulse.
A/N: Time for more sex and angst. Hugs! Dare & Mica
Impulse
Jensen was anxious and on edge all day Tuesday. A part of him couldn't wait to be alone with Jared again and another part was scared of how his boss would act towards him. He hadn't even caught a glimpse of the older man all day. A little after four o'clock his phone range and, Bela, Jared's administrative assistant told him Jared was gone for the day and wouldn't be meeting with him after five. Jensen was disappointed and wondered what had come up. Why Jared hadn't returned to the office for their meeting?
Wednesday turned out to be even worse. Jensen saw Jared first thing in the morning as he got off the elevator to go to his office. Jensen said hello as he passed his boss in the hallway. Jared was in deep conversation on his cell phone and was distracted. He nodded to Jensen but didn't say anything and kept on walking. Jensen waited until noon for Jared to call him, then decided to drop by the bosses office on his way out to lunch. When he got there, Bela told him that Jared had flown to San Antonio earlier in the day.
“I don't understand. Why was he flying there?” Jensen couldn't think of any clients they had based there.
“There was an emergency involving his daughter. He said he'd be back in the office next week. He'll be in touch by phone and video conferences.” Bela answered.
Jensen was stunned speechless for a moment. Jared had a daughter? Was he married? Oh god! Jensen felt sick. “Jared has a daughter?” He asked looking pale.
“Yes, I think she's eight. Why?” Bela looked at him closely.
“I just had no idea. Sorry I bothered you, Bela. Have a good day.” Jensen fled down the hall.
A couple of minutes later, he ran into Misha in the hallway on the way back to his office.
“Hey, Gorgeous! Are we gonna do lunch or what?” Misha asked with a grin.
“He's got a daughter.” Jensen said as he went into his office and flopped down in his chair.
“Who has a daughter?” Misha asked with a perplexed look on his face.
“Jared! The boss!” Jensen exclaimed.
“I thought he was gay.” Misha said with narrowed eyes.
“Oh, he's gay or at least bi, but he's also a bastard with a family back in San Antonio!”
“He could be divorced.”
“He could be, but he never said anything.”
“Why would he?” Misha asked as he looked at Jensen who looked away. “Oh, God, Jense! You fucked the boss! I suppose this isn't the right time to ask about his cock size or staying power.”
Jensen glared at him and Misha looked away for a moment. “Jensen, a lot of gay men have kids. It doesn't mean he's married and hiding things from you. He may have tried living the straight life to please his parents for awhile. I've known several guys who did that. They always end up divorced.”
“You're right, Mish. There could be a dozen explanations. Let's go to lunch now. I need to get out of here. Maybe some food and fresh air will clear my head a little.” Jensen said as he stood up to leave.Jensen tried to put Jared out of his head but he couldn't seem to think of anything else. He should never of had sex with the boss.
~*~
It was a full week before Jared returned to the office. He called a meeting Wednesday morning with all the project leads. He wanted to check on everyone's progress. Jared looked tired and tense as he sat at the head of the table in the board room. His patience seemed to be in short supply as well. When Jared got to Jensen, the younger man wasn't sure what to say. His mind hadn't been on his work since he'd found out that Jared had a daughter. One of his team members had been out for several days with bronchitis and they'd had some serious software issues.
Jared looked at him expectantly. “Jensen?”
Something snapped inside the normally easy going blond. He bristled at the arrogant look on Jared's too handsome face. “What? I don't have anything to say.” The words popped out before he had time to think about them.
Jared's eyes widened in surprise. The other project leads froze and held their breaths. There was complete silence for a moment, then Jensen blew up. “While you were in San Antonio, doing God knows what, some of us have been dealing with illness, computer glitches and ...”
Jared held up his hand. He looked around the table. “We're done here, gentlemen. Thank you.” He turned back to Jensen. “You stay.”
Everyone shuffled out quietly. Jared shut the door to the room behind them. “What the hell is going on?” Jared demanded, his blue green eyes flashing with anger. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
Jensen swallowed hard and bowed his head. “Why didn't you tell me, you had a daughter?” He asked softly.
“Why? Cause it's none of your damn business! We fucked once! That doesn't entitle you to my life's story.” Jared yelled.
"It meant nothing to you then?" Jensen said still looking at his feet.
“I never said it meant nothing. I said we'd take it slow and see what happens. I don't owe you anything, but you owe me a progress report on the Soleil account. It will be on my desk before I leave today. Are we clear?”
Jensen nodded mutely. He felt like he couldn't breathe or speak.
"Good," Jared said. He walked over to the door and shoved it open. It slammed into the wall with a bang.
Jensen closed his eyes and blew out a breath.
~*~
Misha sat by Jensen at the Winchester Pub. “The whole office is talking about that stunt you pulled this morning.”
“I know.” Jensen said miserably.
“I can't believe you, of all people, did that! That's just not like you, Jense. You could lose your job.” Misha said with genuine concern for his friend.
“I know. I just...” Jensen shook his head and drank his shot of tequila.
“You fell for him.” Misha said and patted his back comfortingly.
“I don't even know him. Now, I never will.” Jensen said sadly as he got the bartender's attention and ordered another shot.
“I think it was love at first sight. I know you were totally toasted, but you still wouldn't have danced for anyone else like that.” Misha declared with conviction.
“I feel like he just used me for sex cause he wanted to get off. It didn't really mean anything to him. I'm not a slut, Misha. I don't just go around fucking strangers. I thought we were gonna be together. I'm such an idiot. Why would a guy like him want to be with a guy like me.” Jensen drank his shot and looked dejectedly down at the bar.
“I'm so sorry, Jense. Listen. You are an amazing guy and one day you'll meet the man who will see that. For now, just concentrate on the Soleil account and give yourself time to get over him.
Jensen gave Misha a sad smile and nodded, but he wasn't convinced he could get over Jared.
~*~
The next week passed in a blur of work for Jensen. Jared didn't contact him or ask him to work late. In fact, his boss seemed to be completely avoiding him. Jensen wondered if Jared had decided not to take him to California after all. One evening Jensen gathered his courage and walked to Jared's office to see if he was in. He was hoping to ask him about California and the Soleil presentation for Mr. Beaver. Jensen stopped outside of Jared's office and listened for a moment. He could hear someone crying. The blond stood stock still as he listened to Jared comforting the woman.
“The doctors are doing everything they can, Jess. I've got the most highly recommend doctors available caring for Tiana.”
“I just can't lose her.” The woman broke off sobbing.
“We're not gonna lose her.” Jared said firmly.
Jensen backed away from the door feeling tears well up in his eyes. Even though he felt Jared had deceived him, he didn't want anything bad to happen to his family. Jensen swallowed hard and left the office for the night. He hoped Jared's daughter would be okay.
~*~
The next day, Jensen was surprised when Jared walked into his office. The taller man sank down into a chair across from him and smiled at him. “Jensen, we need to get back to work on the Soleil campaign. I talked with Mr. Beaver and he agreed to give us a two week extension.”
“So the California trip for the presentation is still on?” Jensen asked.
“Yes. We really need to put him under the ether with this one. Can you stay late tonight?”
“Sure. I'll see you at five.” Jensen answered softly as he tried not to stare at his boss.
When Jensen walked into Jared's office that night, the dark haired man was sitting leaned back in his chair with his eyes closed. His face was pale, his tie was askew, his hair was flopped over on his forehead and he looked tired. Jensen flashed back to the night he and Jared had fooled around in his office. He had been so happy that night. They had sat close together so their legs touched as they worked on the ad campaign. Jensen had reached out occasionally to tuck back a strand of Jared's dark hair. Jared had smiled at him and kissed him good night in the parking lot. It had been a deep sensual kiss that had stayed with him all night. Jared's eyes opened and Jensen snapped back to the present. Jared rubbed his eyes, greeted Jensen and clicked open the Soleil images that Jensen had sent him earlier.
“We made all the changes you asked for. I hope you like it.” Jensen said softly.
“I'm really liking this new direction. Great work!” Jared said looking over at Jensen. “Are you going to stay over there all night?”
“I think it would be best for both of us if I did.” Jensen replied not meeting his boss's gaze.
“Alright.” Jared sighed and ran his hands through his hair.
“I'm sorry about your daughter.” Jensen said as he looked up at Jared.
“How do you know about Tiana?”
“I came to your office late yesterday and I heard you in here with your wife.”
“Jess isn't my wife.” Jared said firmly.
“Well, the mother of your child. What's wrong with Tiana?” Jensen asked.
“She has leukemia.” Jared replied and his shoulders seemed to sag under the weight of that statement.
Jensen moved to his side without thinking and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I'm so sorry, Jared.”
The older man stood up and pulled the blond into his arms and held him tightly. Jensen tensed up for a moment, then wrapped his arms around the taller man and held him. They stayed that way for awhile, then Jared pulled back and looked down at Jensen with red rimmed eyes.
“You are too good to be true.” He husked and kissed Jensen deeply like he had in the parking lot before.
A part of Jensen knew he shouldn't let this happen but rational thought never stood a chance against the emotion he felt as he surrendered to the kiss. Jared's passion ignited when Jensen opened up to him and melted against him. He pushed the shorter man back against the window and started to undo his slacks. Jared sank to his knees and freed Jensen's already marble hard cock out of his pants. Jensen's head fell back against the window as the older man took him deep into his throat and hummed along the length of his shaft. Jared brought the blond right to the edge of coming, then stopped and stood up. He gently turned the shorter man to face the window. Jensen heard the desk drawer open and he knew Jared was getting out the lube and condoms. He started to turn around but Jared was back behind him pinning him in place with his muscular body.
“Jared, don't. I can't go through this again.” Jensen begged sounding wrecked.
Jared wrapped his arms around him and pressed their bodies together. “Please, Jen. I need you. Let me love you tonight.” Jared pleaded as he kissed the back and side of Jensen's neck. The dark haired man's hands were on the move one was squeezing the blond's cock and the other was teasing at his pink bud.
Jensen gave in and simply said. “Yes.”
Jared moaned in response and began prepping him with his lubed fingers. Jensen made needy sounds as Jared opened him up, then replaced his fingers with his thick prick. Jensen braced his hands on the window seal as Jared pumped his thick shaft deep inside him. His body was tingling with wave after wave of pleasure. The dark haired man's hands and mouth were all over him as he murmured how beautiful and sexy Jensen was. The blond was in orbit now racing towards his orgasm. When it hit, Jensen felt like he had exploded. He could see stars behind his eyes. Jared was surrounded by his pulsing channel and couldn't stop himself from coming too. Their bodies shuddered against each other until the final shock waves had passed. They stayed that way for a long time with Jared holding Jensen tightly against him. Jensen leaned back with his head resting against Jared's shoulder and enjoyed feeling this connection to him. He thought he heard a sob from Jared and was instantly concerned.
“Jared?” He asked softly.
“Give me a minute.” Jared said in a husky voice, then cleared his throat and moved away.
Jensen stared out the window to give the older man some time to compose himself. He wanted to tell Jared he loved him but he knew he couldn't. When he finally turned, Jared was totally dressed and wouldn't look at him. Jensen felt a stab of pain in his chest and the butterflies beat their wings frantically in his churning stomach. “You're going to rip my heart out.” Jensen said softly as a single tear ran down his cheek.
“Don't, Jensen. I just can't handle it right now.” Jared said firmly as he looked at the younger man.
Jensen wiped away the tear, took a deep breath and started getting dressed. Time to get back to work.
Jared and Jensen ended up working together almost every night over the next two weeks. The older man didn't make any move to touch Jensen again and they never talked about what had happened. Jensen was suffering being so close to the man he loved and not being able to touch him or talk to him as he wanted to.
Jared was suffering too, presumably because of his daughter's illness. Jensen felt like he was drowning in a well of sorrow and he could barely keep his head above water.
IMPULSE - Conclusion