BACHELOR AUCTION
Brett stands in the middle of the nexus, looking confused and infuriated. He holds up a megaphone, and a leaflet of papers.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN OF CERTAIN INCLINATIONS!" Brett groaned, wanting to die. "TONIGHT IS NEXUS' FIRST BACHELOR'S AUCTION!" He continued, and then muttered. "Why the hell do I have to do this?"
He takes away the megaphone. "Step in line, let's be organized here. Okay - you bid with Nexus Dollars, which will be donated to 'the help the nexus losers get laid' fund. No wise-cracks."
handle_gently : Now isn't he cute as a button? Hanatarou's a fellow who is easy to speak to, and the right height for cuddles... for crying out loud, who wrote this?
for_england Prim and Proper, he is the proper gentleman for those seeking an elegant night out. Add in a sense of literally old-fashion manners and he'll treat you right. Man, I feel sorry for him already.
wright_idea You have the - oh no, I'm not making that joke. He's a funny, all-around swell guy who... apparently blushes like a choir boy? HOW different is a choir boy blushing then any other type of blushing?
the_grifter_ Ladies Man, and Man of mystery, why don't you try to see what's under the pa... I AM NOT FINISHING THIS SENTENCE!
nobodysbishie ...I am going off script here because the original line is so crude - and I will simply say he may be scary looking, but I heard he's more like a bear with a marshmellow heart... or is that wearing a marshmellow?
dirk_gently The Detective of the Nexus! Smart, and clever, he'll know just how to please you with his skills of sed... I mean deduction. Guys, I'm not gay, it's the stupid scripts!
pocket_pirate I have no idea who this guy is. But I heard he's actually the canon ending (thus the most fleshed o- wait a minute, this isn't a game, never mind!)
ada_danfielding suave, handsome, sophisticated, but hey don't take my word for it - get it straight from the horse's mouth! and he's a Lawyer... and dude, there is no amount of money in the world that will make me finish that sentence.
whati_llbecome Dann is a sweetheart according to others, and a Jedi - isn't that AWESOME? com'on, you know you want your personal universal knight. Hm... I wonder if I can become a Jedi?
tree_kitty I heard this fellow can purr really good in the right hands, and is more then willing to roll over for a sweet person with the magic hands. ...Is it me, or are the descriptions getting worst?
manofthunder Do you need a hero? Are you holding out for a hero? He's strong and he's fast, and most likely fresh from a fight! Hold out no more, for here is your hero! (Bonnie Tyler will so sue me!)
soma_crucifix He can seduce you in three languages, and supposedly is flexible in more ways then one. And ladies... he's Spaaaaanish. What the hell does that mean anyways? Oh well.
HERE IT IS FOLKS, A FEW LAST MINUTE ADDITION! (you stupid imp!)
dame-de-pique The guys demanded it, have a sassy, proud lady that's all that - the rumors? not true. ...what rumors?
holistichero coma_lacrimosa This guy's a nurse, compassionate, caring, and capable of great gentleness. If you want a cuddlebug or a slow romancer, this guy is it. ...Great, that's the worst description ever.
myownhonor Now here's an honorable, and noble sort, with parentage... so - oh what the hell, he looks good - that's all the auction's about anyways.
nakedarcheology He's part of a fun, exciting career, and a cunning linguist. Oh man, not even I would make that joke!
"NOW PLACE YOUR BIDS! WINNER TAKES THEIR BAHCELORS OUT FOR A FULL TWENTY-FOUR HOURS!" He quickly unrolled something. "Now, for the lawyer junk - youarenotallowedtokillmaimpsychologicallyorphysicallytortureimpregnatedpermamentlychangetheshapeormentalstatus ofthebachelorsnorareyoutoletthemgoinaworsestatethentheywerewhenyougotthemthisincludesexperiments."
"Got that? Okay! No refunds, and bid!"
((the men who are up for auction are completely biddable, and the 'winners' will take the Bachelor for a 24 hour period of time in which there will be fun times of the muns' choosing. There will be little post headers in the comments to put bids for different bachelors to cut down on confusion))
Edit:
"THANK YOU FOLKS - THE AUCTION IS NOW CLOSED RESULTS ARE UP (literally - look up)"
"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN OF CERTAIN INCLINATIONS!" Brett groaned, wanting to die. "TONIGHT IS NEXUS' FIRST BACHELOR'S AUCTION!" He continued, and then muttered. "Why the hell do I have to do this?"
He takes away the megaphone. "Step in line, let's be organized here. Okay - you bid with Nexus Dollars, which will be donated to 'the help the nexus losers get laid' fund. No wise-cracks."
handle_gently : Now isn't he cute as a button? Hanatarou's a fellow who is easy to speak to, and the right height for cuddles... for crying out loud, who wrote this?
for_england Prim and Proper, he is the proper gentleman for those seeking an elegant night out. Add in a sense of literally old-fashion manners and he'll treat you right. Man, I feel sorry for him already.
wright_idea You have the - oh no, I'm not making that joke. He's a funny, all-around swell guy who... apparently blushes like a choir boy? HOW different is a choir boy blushing then any other type of blushing?
the_grifter_ Ladies Man, and Man of mystery, why don't you try to see what's under the pa... I AM NOT FINISHING THIS SENTENCE!
nobodysbishie ...I am going off script here because the original line is so crude - and I will simply say he may be scary looking, but I heard he's more like a bear with a marshmellow heart... or is that wearing a marshmellow?
dirk_gently The Detective of the Nexus! Smart, and clever, he'll know just how to please you with his skills of sed... I mean deduction. Guys, I'm not gay, it's the stupid scripts!
pocket_pirate I have no idea who this guy is. But I heard he's actually the canon ending (thus the most fleshed o- wait a minute, this isn't a game, never mind!)
ada_danfielding suave, handsome, sophisticated, but hey don't take my word for it - get it straight from the horse's mouth! and he's a Lawyer... and dude, there is no amount of money in the world that will make me finish that sentence.
whati_llbecome Dann is a sweetheart according to others, and a Jedi - isn't that AWESOME? com'on, you know you want your personal universal knight. Hm... I wonder if I can become a Jedi?
tree_kitty I heard this fellow can purr really good in the right hands, and is more then willing to roll over for a sweet person with the magic hands. ...Is it me, or are the descriptions getting worst?
manofthunder Do you need a hero? Are you holding out for a hero? He's strong and he's fast, and most likely fresh from a fight! Hold out no more, for here is your hero! (Bonnie Tyler will so sue me!)
soma_crucifix He can seduce you in three languages, and supposedly is flexible in more ways then one. And ladies... he's Spaaaaanish. What the hell does that mean anyways? Oh well.
HERE IT IS FOLKS, A FEW LAST MINUTE ADDITION! (you stupid imp!)
dame-de-pique The guys demanded it, have a sassy, proud lady that's all that - the rumors? not true. ...what rumors?
holistichero coma_lacrimosa This guy's a nurse, compassionate, caring, and capable of great gentleness. If you want a cuddlebug or a slow romancer, this guy is it. ...Great, that's the worst description ever.
myownhonor Now here's an honorable, and noble sort, with parentage... so - oh what the hell, he looks good - that's all the auction's about anyways.
nakedarcheology He's part of a fun, exciting career, and a cunning linguist. Oh man, not even I would make that joke!
"NOW PLACE YOUR BIDS! WINNER TAKES THEIR BAHCELORS OUT FOR A FULL TWENTY-FOUR HOURS!" He quickly unrolled something. "Now, for the lawyer junk - youarenotallowedtokillmaimpsychologicallyorphysicallytortureimpregnatedpermamentlychangetheshapeormentalstatus ofthebachelorsnorareyoutoletthemgoinaworsestatethentheywerewhenyougotthemthisincludesexperiments."
"Got that? Okay! No refunds, and bid!"
((the men who are up for auction are completely biddable, and the 'winners' will take the Bachelor for a 24 hour period of time in which there will be fun times of the muns' choosing. There will be little post headers in the comments to put bids for different bachelors to cut down on confusion))
Edit:
"THANK YOU FOLKS - THE AUCTION IS NOW CLOSED RESULTS ARE UP (literally - look up)"