you know what i've realized?
life really is what YOU make it.
i've spent so long thinking things that held me back.
i'm not going to be scared anymore.
i want to be myself, by myself or around a million people.
i don't want to let fear of embarassment or whatever hold me back anymore.
i can't.

life has been good lately.
i think i've found someone.
well, ( Read more... )

okay, so christmas is a little more than an hour away, and in the spirit of christmastime being a time of wishes coming true, here are a list of my non-material christmas wishes.

1. to become even closer with all six of my closest friends and to spend time with them even more, because they really are one of the best parts of my life.
2. to finally ( Read more... )

i'm at randy's right now.
i went to a christmas party at the lodge last night for todd's construction company or whatever...
nick was there.
that guy mom basically forced to let take me to formal in 9th grade?
yeah.
and his girlfriend.
awkward much?
wow.
it brought back all those well-repressed memories of the stupid formal, and then even better-repressed ( Read more... )

something real.
the only thing that's running through my mind right now is how i just want something real.
life really is great right now, but i can't help but want more, as always.
i want to make a real connection with someone and finally figure out what real love is all about.
everything is so fake these days.
white lies, double lives... i just want ( Read more... )

i've changed, yet again, since the last entry.
not drastically or anything... i guess i just finally opened my eyes and came to some important realizations.
it's funny how that it's easy to understand concepts that are taught to you in school, like math formulas, because they always come out the same way and are obviously true, but you can't convert ( Read more... )

taylor swift teaches the best lessons.
i'm not a princess, and this isn't a fairytale.
so why did i actually think that i could have what i wanted for once?
it seems like i pick the worst person and the worst situation to put myself in and then i fall.
BAM!

damn wanting your best friends' ex and getting called on it.
damn wanting anyone.
i was not ( Read more... )

ahh, i've had a great day.
i've just been calm and happy and having fun all day.
i love my friends so much, they're so great.
i really don't know what life would be like without these people.
oh, and i like a new boy! <3333333
he makes happy songs run through my head.
lol.
i'm just doing fabulous.
;D

i'm feeling so nostalgic lately.
missing my childhood... hell, just missing last year.
even though i have forgiven myself, i fucked up a lot this past year.
it all started in october of last year, but i think finally, this october, the cycle is broken.
i'm not the same as i was.
i made a lot of mistakes, but they made me who i am, and made the present ( Read more... )

today was a big day, and i'm so proud of myself for the way i acted.
i feel alive, vindicated.
like i can (finally) forgive myself for my past.
i'm letting go because i'm beginning to realize that i've changed my life and that i'm not the same as i was back then.
i'm free!
and the people who did things wrong are getting what they deserve.
life is ( Read more... )

today was kind of a bad day, but i don't care.
i think (maybe) i've finally found the right guy!
he's so gorgeous.
i constantly stare at him and try to flirt with him, and he seems to like me back.
and i don't know whether he has a girlfriend or not.
maybe i'm wrong, and he's not even interested.
and i'm scared i am, because it's starting to give me the ( Read more... )