Home (3/5)
Author’s Note: Fic Exchange Gift for rashaka (Prompt: kissing, non-age related angst, someone supporting Jeff/Annie, Bonus: almost caught on campus) Err… change “on campus” to “in hotel room” and it’s all there.
Title and lyrics come from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes.
Mad crazy props to 0penhearts for being a GENIUS beta and for the AMAZING encouragement.
Story Notes: The "Present Day" story in 2013 alternates with sections of Flashbacks. Flashbacks are denoted with date stamps.
PART I
PART II
Part III
nothing new is sweeter than with you
~*~*~*~
“I’m glad you and Britta were able to stay friends.”
Annie’s peering into the depths of her glass, trying to fish out a piece of ice with her straw. Jeff watches her for a moment then shrugs.
“We were always friends. It was the whole dating thing that didn’t quite work.”
She successfully frees an ice cube from the confines of the glass and pops it into her mouth, sucking on it with puckered lips. “I thought you guys made a cute couple,” she finally says.
Jeff frowns. “On more than one occasion we had people think we were brother and sister.”
Annie laughs but then nods, “That makes sense actually. You certainly act like it.”
“There’s an insult somewhere in there isn’t there?”
She gasps, “Nooo.”
He laughs.
“Jeff?”
“Yeah?”
“Were you in love with her?”
“Annie.” He scrubs his hands over his face. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Brita and I… it was something that just needed to happen. And me not handling it well,” he looks at her pointedly and she smiles, “I think that was me dealing with just another in a string of failures.”
“Oh. But you normally handle those so well.”
“Hey.” He pushes lightly against her shoulder and she tilts to the side with a giggle.
“So,” Jeff starts a second later, trying to figure out how to broach the subject. “What about David?”
She pauses in trying to scoop out another piece of ice. “Did I love him?”
He looks up at the ceiling, not really sure what he’s asking.
“Because I did. Love him.” Her hair swings into her face and blocks her eyes as she continues to stare at the table. “A lot. But… when it came down to that moment...” She stops, shakes her head and looks up at him. Her eyes are surprisingly dry but there’s wistfulness there that makes her forehead crinkle.
Jeff nods and takes a deep breath. He needs to change the subject, all of this - Britta, David - all of it is making him feel antsy.
“So, the night you got drunk with Britta.”
Annie throws her hands up in the air, “I know! I’ll never drink with her again.”
He smirks, “Yeah, but, you don’t happen to remember making a phone call that night, do you?”
Her mouth is open in a little “o” shape as she stares at him. “Um.” And then she gasps, “No!”
“Oh yes.”
She’s trying to remember but there had been a lot of alcohol and talking and…. “What did we say?”
“Hmm. I don’t recall exactly but there was singing.”
“Oh my...” Then she narrows her eyes, “You saved the message didn’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“Jeff, give me that phone.”
“Nah. I’m saving it for a more opportune time.”
“I hate you.”
“Be nice to me Annie. Just remember, singing. Lots and lots of singing.”
“Oh god.”
~*~*~*~
April 19, 2012
Annie spent her 21st Birthday at a wine bar downtown, surrounded by friends. She wore four-inch heels and a retro-style polka-dotted dress with a skirt that flounced prettily as she practically bounced around in happiness. The entire night she was warm and flushed, the sweet taste of wine on her tongue, David’s arm around her shoulder.
They didn’t pour themselves into bed until almost 3:00 but Annie was so buzzing with contentment and drunkenness that she was still wide-awake long after David had started snoring against his pillow. She finally eased herself out of bed at almost 4:30 and grabbed his shirt off the ground, where it had been discarded hastily as they made their way to the bed in a tangle of limbs and gasps and hurried kisses.
She turned the light on in the kitchen, blinking against the brightness. There was still a dull ringing in her ears from the music and the laughter and the wine, making everything feel echo-y. Her thoughts were muzzy, blurred around the edges but she smiled when she saw the two vases of flowers on the table.
The roses, a dozen, from David - she had woken to find them on the pillow next to her with a note that read simply, “I love you.”
The other one had arrived early in the afternoon, a wild and colorful arrangement of lilies and chrysanthemums and Gerber daisies, along with a package from the bakery and a note reading, “Happy 21st Birthday Annie! We miss you. Wish we could be there. Love, Shirley, Britta, Jeff, Troy, Abed and Pierce.”
Annie opened the bakery box and pulled out a cupcake frosted with deep purple swirls of butter cream. She poured a glass of milk and perched herself on the counter, eyes closing as she took the first sugary bite and when a few bits of cake fell to her lap and then to the floor she didn’t even mind. Halfway through - and she was trying to make this last as long as possible, savoring every bite - she grabbed her phone and dialed into her voicemail.
“You have five saved messages.”
“Hey babe, I had to leave for work early and I didn’t want to wake you but I just wanted to say Happy Birthday and I hope you enjoy the flowers.” He laughed, “I’ll probably end up talking to you before you get this but I love you and I hope you have an amazing day. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Happy Birthday sweetie! We sent you a little something you should be getting later today. I wish I could hug you right now. But I’ll see you soon okay? I love you!”
Annie smiled, mentally pulling up a picture of Shirley that she allowed herself to sink into for a moment.
“Hi Annie, it’s mom. Your dad and I are just calling to say Happy Birthday. We hope you have a lovely day. Please… please be safe tonight. Call us later when you get a chance.”
The next message was a loud and raucous rendition of the Happy Birthday song that ended with Abed and Troy singing, “And many more, on channel four. And Scooby-Doo, on channel two. And Frankenstein, on channel nine. And a big fat lady, on channel eighty.” In the background she could hear laughter and Jeff’s voice saying, “Guys, seriously, she’s turning twenty-one, not eight.”
Annie played this one over again, twice, her eyes prickling with tears, before switching to the last message, received only three hours ago.
“Hey Annie, it’s Britta, I know you’re probably out partying right now but Jeff insisted that we call… ow, stop it… he says to be safe… what are you, her dad?.... OW… and to watch out for men in capes?…. I don’t even know what that means, you guys are so weird… you know what Annie? Just delete this entire message. Jeff might be, and by “might be” I mean “is”, a little drunk right now. Pierce is trying to get rid of all the alcohol that he bought last month and these geniuses decided it would be a great idea to drink all of it. In one night… Yes you are, dumbass… so just forget this ever happened… Okay! I’ll tell her!... Happy birthday Annie. Seriously, I apologize for this.”
She ended up eating another cupcake and listening to all the messages again before finally crawling back into bed, the voices of her friends drifting through her mind until she fell soundly to sleep.
~*~*~*~
Annie’s telling him a story about some of her co-workers at the paper when the lights suddenly flicker and the bartender says, “Last call!”
They both look up, started and Jeff checks his phone. “Wow. I didn’t realize how late it was. We should probably…”
“Yeah.” She nods and starts to reach for her wallet but he stills her hand. “I got it.”
“No. It’s okay-” But he’s already smiling and heading toward the front.
Annie watches as he leans over the bar, talking easily with the female bartender. The sudden urge to go over and stand near him, maybe curl her hand around his arm, catches her off guard and makes her clutch her purse so hard her knuckles turn white.
They make it to the hotel lobby when he looks down at her. “You can’t drive.”
“I know. I was going to call a cab.”
“That’s stupid. Just stay here.”
She pauses. There’s an unspoken with me in his words and she has to swallow hard before nodding.
They head toward the elevator and Annie keeps hold of his arm the entire ride up and then through the hallway to his room. They are both quiet but everything else seems so much louder and more pronounced than normal - elevator doors swishing open, their shoes on the carpet, the click when the door unlocks as Jeff swipes his keycard.
The room is dark and cool, with the lingering mustiness that hotel rooms always seem to have. Annie follows Jeff in, standing almost awkwardly in the entrance as he slips off his watch and starts unbuttoning the cuffs of his sleeves.
“Um. Make yourself at home I guess.” He glances around the room, which is simple - just a television atop the dresser, a corner table with a chair and a Queen sized bed where the comforter is still rumpled from his nap earlier.
Annie wanders over to the window where the flickering lights of the city are visible, and presses her fingertips to the glass, her breath leaving a small circle of fog as she gazes at the street below.
Jeff watches her for a moment, the shape of her, silhouetted against the light from the city before turning into the bathroom and flipping the light on.
“I don’t have any pajamas,” she calls out to him.
“I probably have an extra shirt you can borrow.”
He’s brushing his teeth when he walks out a few minutes later to find her rummaging through his bag.
“Uh. Excuse me,” he garbles out over a mouth full of toothpaste.
She just shrugs and pulls out a faded gray tee shirt that reads, Royal Valley High School. “Jeff, how old is this shirt?” But then something flashes across her face and she quickly adds a “nevermind” and stands up with it clutched to her chest. He just stares at her, then turns and walks back into the bathroom.
Annie trails after him, lingering in the doorway to wait her turn and when he glances up and sees her reflection in the mirror, she’s looking down at the shirt in her hand, running her thumb along the smooth and well-worn material with this expression of such complete fondness that Jeff’s breath catches in his throat.
~*~*~*~
May 15th 2012, 1:24am
“Jeff?”
“Heeeyyyy.”
Annie held her hand over her chest and took a steadying breath, lowering the bat she was gripping tightly in her hand. “What are you doing here?”
He leaned into her doorway and pursed his lips. “Umm. I’m not sure. I gave the guy your address and now I’m here. Can I come in or….?”
“Yeah.” She moved aside and watched as he staggered in and flopped down, face first, onto the couch.
“Jeff? You took a cab here?”
He rolled over and tried to sit up but only ended up leaning half on, half off the couch, his head on the arm rest, his feet on the floor.
“Annie. Does it look like I’m in any condition to drive?”
“But from Greendale? That must have cost you like two hundred dollars!”
“Three hundred.”
“Jeff!”
He squinted, his nose scrunching up in pain. “Don’t yell.”
She walked around and perched on the other side of the couch. “What’s wrong?”
“Pshaw. Nothing. Oh hey.” He opened his eyes and looked around. “Where’s that guy?”
“That guy? You mean David? My boyfriend?”
“Yeah, him. What’s his name again?”
Annie sighed in exasperation. “David.”
“Yeah. He’s a good guy. I like him.”
“Well, I’m so glad he has your approval. And he’s studying for finals.” She waited a moment. “Jeff? Are you okay?”
“Totally fine.”
“Britta called me.”
His jaw tensed. “Britta who?”
“Jeff.”
“Yeah, so we broke up. Big deal. Like it matters to me.”
“Well it must matter some for you to end up here.”
He was quiet and Annie finally sighed and got up. “Fine. I’m going back to bed.”
She threw him a blanket from the hall closet, then turned off the light and disappeared into her room. Jeff blinked into the darkness, trying to get a hold on the way everything above him was starting to spin in circles.
Fuck.
The room was still spinning, just slower (and maybe that was worse) a half an hour later when he heard her bedroom door open again and then her feet padding against the hardwood floor. She came into view and sat on the edge of the coffee table across from him, resting her chin in her hand and waiting silently.
Jeff shifted on the couch and stretched out all the way so that his feet hung off the other armrest. He rolled his head to look at her and when he focused on her it seemed to help steady everything else out so that his stomach stopped churning quite so much.
It was another minute or so before he said anything but she just continued to wait.
Finally:
“Look, it’s not like I thought it was ever going to work. I’m mean, like that happily ever, sunset, princess, knight and shining armor, movie - Abed would know what I’m talking about.”
“I get it Jeff.”
Through the darkness he could only just begin to make out her features as she continued to watch him.
“I mean, you know Britta and me and… yeah, you get it right? But she’s my friend and she’s Britta and she was the reason for this entire thing and I thought… maybe.” He fell silent.
“Jeff-”
“It hurts.”
She paused. “I know.”
“I hate that it hurts.”
“I know.”
He was quiet so she got up and walked into the kitchen. There was the sound of a cabinet opening and closing and then water running.
“Fuck. I spent three hundred dollars on a cab ride.”
Annie laughed, “Well how about we find you a cheaper way to get home tomorrow?” She came back and set down a glass of water and a bottle of Advil.
He snorted, “Thanks.”
She bent down and he felt her hand slip against his and squeeze lightly. “Anytime.”
After she went back to her bedroom Jeff found himself staring at the glass of water, strangely comforted by it and the faint memory of the touch of her hand against his skin.
~*~*~*~
When Annie comes out of the bathroom she’s pulled her hair up into a ponytail and washed her face so that her cheeks are soft and pink, her wide blue eyes framed only by the slightest smudge of mascara. Jeff’s eyes trace her movement as she walks across the room and sets her neatly folded top next to her purse. She’s wearing his shirt and it hangs loosely on her frame, dropping to her mid thigh and even though she’s still wearing jeans, he quickly averts his eyes.
She turns toward him, teeth worrying at her bottom lip as she looks at the bed, at him stretched out on the bed, wearing jeans and a blue tee-shirt.
“Is that what you normally sleep in?”
“No.”
“Oh.” She flushes, recalling that she didn’t see any sort of pajama bottoms in his bag. “Well,” she collects herself and says brightly, “At least we’ll both be uncomfortable tonight.” And then she crawls onto the bed next to him and pulls her knees up to her chest.
Jeff laughs as the tension drains from him body. He reaches for the remote control, “At least.”
He flips through the channels but nothing good is on so he ends up settling for some old Stephen King movie with Emilio Estevez where all the electronics in the world come alive and start killing people.
Annie watches in silence for about five minutes before she turns to him with a dubious frown. “This seems implausible to me.”
Jeff snorts, “Which part? The driverless monster trucks mowing people down or the vending machines shooting soda cans at innocent Little Leaguers?”
“Well, all of it. But why would all the electronics suddenly want to kill us? So the moon aligns with something one day and my hair dryer comes alive. What did I ever do to it that would make it want to wrap its cord around my neck and strangle me to death?”
He pretends to think. ‘Have you ever thanked your hair dryer Annie? For a job well done?”
“No. You’re right. I’ve been a terrible slave driver all these years.” She shakes her head sadly and sighs.
They watch as onscreen a rogue meat slicer tries to cut off someone’s hand.
“Jeff?” She asks suddenly, “What are you going to do now?”
“What do you mean?"
“Well. Everyone else has these plans. Shirley and her sister are opening a business, Abed’s got that film festival next month and you know it’s only a matter of time before the world discovers what kind of crazy genius he is. Britta’s going to keep working for that non-profit group… But what are you going to do?
“Um. Go back to being an awesome lawyer? I thought that was kind of a given.”
“Yeah, but.” She turns toward him a bit, “Is that how it works? Do you just go back to being a lawyer? Where? At a law firm? Is your old one going to take you back?”
Jeff is quiet. He stares at the television, turning the remote control over and over in his hand.
“No. It’s actually not that easy,” he finally lets out. “I called my old firm and about a hundred other contacts but as it turns out, it wasn’t exactly a secret that I had my license suspended. And I might be a decent defense attorney but nothing matters to anyone in this business more than reputation. Which is weird because I can defend the dregs of society and sleep with a partner’s wife and it’s all copasetic. But become a community college screwup? That’s ball game.”
Annie just watches him.
“So, I actually have no idea what I’m going to do.”
She sighs and scoots down to rest her head on his shoulder.
“That’s okay you know. Something like forty-five percent of college graduates don’t have a long term plan.”
Jeff laughs dryly. “Annie, I’m thirty-eight years old. I’m not most college students.”
She doesn’t say anything and he turns his head toward her, his lips brushing against the top of her head as he inhales the scent of her shampoo.
A few moments later he murmurs against her hair, “The Dean offered me a job.”
“Hmm?” Annie’s eyes flutter open.
“Adjunct teacher in the Political Science Department.”
“Greendale has a Political Science Department?”
“Exactly.”
She suddenly gasps and sits up. “You considered it.”
“What? No.”
“You did. You considered it. And you’re still considering it.”
“Do you not know me at all? I hate Greendale. I hate everything it represents. Why, why would I ever consider staying?”
She just continues to smile, “Because it’s perfect. You can teach part time, maybe start to build up your own practice on the side.”
From the look of incredulity on his face - furrowed brow, but slightly upturned lips - Annie can tell that this is exactly what he considered.
“Jeff!” She’s practically bouncing on her knees. “You should do it.”
“Annie.” He’s trying to look exasperated but he’s smiling too much to pull it off. He gestures towards the television with the remote control, uses the other hand to tug her arm and pull her back. “Watch the movie. It’s getting to the good part. Emilio Estevez is about the save the planet.”
She complies and leans back, her shoulder pressed against his, but every few moments he can feel her looking sideways at him through her eyelashes.
“Stop.”
“Sorry Professor Winger,” she sing-songs.
~*~*~*~
Summer, 2012
The summer rambled on, hot lazy days of nothingness, stretching into each other end over end until it was all just this blur of sleeping in late and sitting by the pool all day and drinking with Abed, Troy and Pierce late into the night.
In the first few weeks of renewed Bachelordom Jeff claimed he was celebrating by going out to one of the local bars every night and it was simple - he sat down at the bar, assessed the situation, made eye contact and moments later he was buying her a drink and she was giggling that her name was Theresa (Jenny, Melissa, Veronica, etc.) and she was a preschool teacher (yoga instructor, dental hygienist, waitress, etc.) and thirty minutes after that he had her pressed up against her car in the parking lot and her hands were pulling on his belt loops and tugging him closer.
It was uncomplicated and easy to get lost in but he wasn’t enjoying it as much as he used to - it was almost boring actually - and he maybe kind of liked it when these nights were interrupted by invitations from Abed to come watch movies or texts from Annie telling him that his favorite episode of Law and Order was on.
(And this was when he realized he was officially sixty-five years old, because he left the bar to go home and watch something he had seen a million times already while arguing with Annie via text over whether Law and Order SVU was better than the original or not).
Three weeks into the summer he called Britta and they arranged to meet for coffee. He was almost afraid that they would spend a half an hour in stilted conversation, avoiding each other’s eyes. But he got there and saw her blonde curls through the window and he couldn’t help but smile as he slid into the seat across from her and wondered aloud how anyone not in the T-Birds could wear a leather jacket in the middle of the summer.
She kicked him under the table as he started reciting the lyrics to “Greased Lightning” but she was smiling too.
At the end of the summer Pierce threw himself a birthday party. It was his 69th birthday and it was the first time he ever told anyone his actual age but he seemed really proud of this one and sent out invitations that said, “Come to My 69ing Party.” He claimed this was a typo but no one believed him.
Despite this, it actually ended up being a pretty classy affair up at his lake house, with catered food and a band and a dance floor under a large white tent. All their friends from Greendale showed up, along with a few old acquaintances and some scattered stepchildren that were probably only there to leech money but Pierce didn’t seem to mind.
Annie, who had been busy all summer working at the paper, even managed to make the trip. She arrived without David, who at the last minute decided to stay home and study for the LSAT.
Dusk was starting to fall as Jeff stood on the outskirts of the tent watching Troy spin Britta around the dance floor. She was laughing as she twirled under his arm and then as he dipped her low to the ground.
The music changed then and eased into a slower rendition of Young at Heart. Out of the corner of his eye Jeff saw Pierce walk purposefully up to one of the tables and offer his hand to Shirley. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow but reluctantly got up followed him onto the dance floor. At first his hand landed dangerously low on her back but she smacked his arm and warned him sharply and the hand moved up to a safer spot on her waist.
Jeff continued watching for another moment before grabbing another beer and wandering away from the tent in the direction of the lake. The sun had almost completely disappeared behind the mountains and the wisps of clouds in the sky were illuminated in vibrant shades of orange and pinks and reds that reflected against the smooth surface of the lake.
His footsteps made dull thuds along the dock, water lapping gently against the side as it swayed across the water with his movement. Annie was sitting at the end, her legs dangling over the edge, toes skimming the surface of the water. Jeff sat down cross-legged next to her and looked out over the lake.
“Not a bad view.”
“Hmm.” She hummed pleasantly.
He took a swig of beer and offered it to her with a half smile. She looked over at him, biting her lip, then finally accepted it with a nod.
“What are you doing out here? I think people were hoping you were going to treat us to another Charleston.”
Annie’s cheeks flowered with pink as she swallowed and handed the beer back. “I think it was a one time performance.”
“Where’d you learn to do that?”
“My mom made me take a bunch of dance classes in high school.”
“Where do you think Abed learned?”
“Probably from a movie,” she sighed.
He laughed. “I wouldn’t doubt that.”
The sun dipped completely out of view and the sky began to turn a deepening shade of purple. The soft strains of laughter and music from the party wafted towards them and Annie closed her eyes and swayed back and forth as the band began playing Moonlight Serenade.
“It feels like we could be characters in The Great Gatsby,” she said softly.
Jeff watched her for a moment, then looked down at the rippling surface of the water and took another pull from the beer.
“Just with a better ending,” she added with a frown.
He huffed out a laugh, “Here’s hoping.”
Annie smiled and they both fell quiet, looking out over the dark expanse of lake as the band played on and the first stars began to appear high in the night sky.
~*~*~*~
He’s pulled groggily from his sleep by the flickering glow of the television screen and it takes a moment to remember that he’s not at home and that it’s Annie warm against his side, her hands tucked under her chin, her nosed pressed into his shirt at his ribcage.
Jeff blindly reaches for the remote control and flicks the television off, his movement jerking her awake. The room is dark now and he can only just barely make out the way she blinks at him through bleary eyes.
“Jeff?
His hand comes to rest at the back of her head, smoothing over her hair. “You okay?” He asks, his voice thick with sleep.
“Mm. Cold.” Her eyes close again and she pulls tighter against him for warmth.
“Here.” He reaches back and starts to sit up and together they maneuver under the sheets, Annie’s eyes closed in some hazy state of half consciousness. He curls his arm back around her and pulls her up closer so that her head is pillowed on his chest as he tucks the blankets around them.
Annie mutters something incomprehensible but Jeff barely hears it as they both drift back to sleep.
When he wakes up again hours later the faintest morning light is glowing through the space in the heavy hotel curtains. The room is warmer now and the sheets have been kicked back down around their legs. He inhales deeply.
Annie’s still curled up against him and from this angle he can’t see her eyes, just the way her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks as she blinks, so he knows she’s awake.
His heart’s starting to race and she has to know, can probably feel it pounding out a rhythm against her and in a minute she’s going to pull away and get up and leave. But she doesn’t and her index finger starts to trail in aimless circles over his chest.
Maybe it’s her heart racing too.
He wants to know what she’s thinking, needs to talk to her and hear her voice. His arm is curling tighter around her and she finally tilts her head to look up at him. Her eyes are a darker blue and she just keeps his gaze and she’s pressed all the way against him so that he can feel her rib cage against his as they breath together, tangled up together.
“Annie,” he rasps out and her eyes flicker down toward his lips.
Maybe it will be like before. Maybe she’ll taste the same and her lips will part immediately, inviting him in. Maybe that will be enough to make her gasp. Or just enough.
She’s leaning in.
And the phone rings.
They both freeze until it rings again and then she’s rolling away.
Jeff reaches over and grabs it. “Hello?”
“This is your morning wake up-“
“Yeah thanks,” he replies monotonously and hangs up, staring at the ceiling.
Annie’s doing the same on the other side of the bed, but she’s still resting on his arm, at the palm of his hand. As they continue to lay there, his fingers start pressing against her neck, into her hairline, scratching lightly and her eyes close. She’s got her lower lip between her teeth and Jeff’s about to roll closer when she sits up suddenly.
“I should go.”
“Oh. Yeah. Okay.” Jeff swings his legs over the side of the bed and sits up, watches as she gathers her things.
Her back is to him like she’s afraid to face him and she has to take a deep steadying breath before turning around.
“I’m graduating today.”
He laughs, “Yes. You are.”
Annie opens her mouth to say something else but then seems to changes her mind. She frowns.
Jeff presses the heels of his hands against his eyes. “I’ll see you later?”
“…Yeah.”
And then she’s gone.
PART IV