Well I don't know what is wrong with me yet again... Everything just seems so fucked up and out of place... I don't know why... I'm 16 almost 17... I should have my liscence and a car and a job by now... I should be getting good grades in school.. I shouldn't be spending all my time with my friends... I should be more responsible... And I'm not.. I ( Read more... )

Man I'm sick of all the shit going on.. I'm damn sick of it... I'm never going to be the person everyone expects me to be... I have no motivation for that shit... I hate it all... I hate school, I hate the drama cause by myself and everyone around me, I hate living here, I hate everything! I want to leave!!! I want to run away so nobody can find ( Read more... )

Man everything is so fucked up now... I swear... I've like been trying so hard to seclude myself from the outside world for no apparent reason-well maybe there is a reason... maybe i'm just sick of being number 2 or number 3 on peoples' lists.. and never being number one... like seriously NEVER. Maybe just jessica but that's it... Everyone else ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Yeah.. so tonight was interesting... I guess what most of everything all boils down to in what I'm feeling is that I am really irritated that people don't understand that I do NOT want a relationship.. I do NOT want to go off and mess around.. I do not want any of that!!! I love Matt!!! End of fucking story!! SO PLEASE IF ANY OF YOU GUYS OUT there ( Read more... )

Hmm, what's goin on? I'm sittin here bored as hell and lonely as hell (so what the fuck else is new)... My damn comp is still going to shut down tonight which fucking sucks, but oh well... there's nothin I can do about that one... I don't know why but I feel like so mean... I'm trying to hold back from the shit talking and stuff... but sometimes ( Read more... )

Grr I am so freaking worried right now, I don't even understand it! Like... I am so scared I'm going to be a failure in life and that I'm never gonna be happy. I don't want to end up like everyone else in my family. That'd be no good :-( Like.. I am almost out of school.. just another year and a half and I'm through-that's it. And I still don' ( Read more... )

Well Okay I'm bored so I decided to update this thing again. LoL. I'm talking to Matt through xanga comments right now.. lol i guess his e-mail is fucked or something i dunnoz. but oh well at least i get to talk to him and that's all that matters, right? riiight :-P God I <3 you so much matt lol ( Read more... )

Whoa never thought you'd hear me say those words now did ya. I think I broke Robby's heart though I feel so mean... anyway this weekend has been okay.. read my xanga if u really wanna know what went on I am not really in the mood to talk about it because it's too much shit to talk about. but right now me and matt are exchanging comments on xanga ( Read more... )

Hi people what's happening? Not much here.. chillen at home bored cause I stayed home from school.. I feel like total shit :( but it's all good I Guess. Hmm. I still have so much hw to do.. I don't know why I didn't do it last night. But I guess that's good that I have all day and I can't go anywhere anyway. But anywho, I'm just starting to feel ( Read more... )