been a while since ive been on this. well let me get to the point. theres this wedding in mid july and i am as of now dateless. so here it is. anyone wanna be my hot date? and no bobert. this message isnt for you. so anyways. if you wanna go hit me up and ill see if i am still in need of a date.

hahahahahaha. so where do i start? lets try the beginning. went to breakfast with my mom at some weird ass place. these middle easterns? owned it and they were fucking weird. the dude had more hair on his hands then i do on my head and the lady had clown make-up on. then got ready for the CRUE! went to this girls house and the limo bus picked us up ( Read more... )

I was at this girl's house the other night and didn't have any condoms. She goes, "That's OK." She hands me a Magnum she had in the drawer. A MAGNUM! The fucking package looks like a CD case. I said, "Thanks. If i go fly fishing, i can stand in it, like sea boots. Have you ever been out all night and woken up next to some chick only to realize she' ( Read more... )

i am not avoiding you. i am avoiding everyone. dont ask why. there is no explanation. i dont want to do anything. thats it. i dont want to go anywhere. i just want to sit in my house and read and sleep. i wake up early for work and i like to have some rest so i dont go anywhere late. everyone who knows me knows that. so why does everyone call me ( Read more... )

I HATE PERFECT PEOPLE!!! that being said last night was really fun. i went shopping at nordstroms. didnt buy anything because due to a paycheck mishap i am still broke. went and saw operatic at porters pub. they were really good. that and it was free. got a call for a bachelor party down in lakeside so i went. it was the biggest house. three ( Read more... )

you know you are an asshole when people ban you from commenting in their journals. i guess some just dont like to hear the truth. they just want to live their lives behind a veil and never see what is happening. hey! if i say something mean chances are you did something stupid for me to say it. i dont just say randomly mean things. im not that bad ( Read more... )

i usually never do these quizzes but these have been coming out so hilarious that i cannot help but put them up.

see what i mean?

ahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!

just oredered a camera off of the net and it should be here in a few days. man i am happy since i lost my last one. well now that i am gonna have a new one you can all expect to see a shit load of terrible scene/myspace photos rolling in. and yes. i know this isnt myspace but do i really give a shit? nope. but something that does bother me is when ( Read more... )

ok. went to play poker. got my ass kicked. went to the casino. won my money back. got a free tank of gas. went to a strip club (my first one in the u.s.) it was pretty good. the bartender was beautiful and i had her sitting on my lap. got offered a blunt. had to decline. got a free california burrito. all in all today was a good day. too bad some ( Read more... )