This De-Ja-Vu of days long past, these feelings I thought would never last, but now away I have been cast, to live in sorrows truth ( Read more... )

I don't understand why I'm still feeling this way. Such a De-ja-vu from days long past of which I'm longing to forget. I feel lost and worthless... missing those I was never that close to and fearing what things will be like without "necessaries". He's so lovely, but I'm regretting what I did now and I don't know why... I don't know how... but I ( Read more... )

I don't know what to write but I feel like I should have something here. How akwardly queer. I went out with Mark today, it was fun in the remotly akward shy cute kind of way. He's very down to earth and I dunno, differen't. I really like that I just wish I wasn't so shy and that I hadn't acted so stupid around him. Work was hell today, ( Read more... )

I work all day, literally. I was supposed to bus from 12:00 to 5:00 but I got talked into working a double. So I ended up at DuClaw until 9:40 PM. I was bussing tables all day so my feet are killing me. I tried to get off work to go hang out with some friends I never see but then my manager told me I had to stay till 10:00 so I got a little bit ( Read more... )

Bobby and I are broken up now. I just read his Xanga entry and found it only right that I go at my own. I'm not happy that I missed again. My heart has a way of teasing me into thinking I'm with the right person, only to turn its back on that and leave me dumbfounded. I'm sorry for any distress I've caused you Bobby ( Read more... )

Confuzzleation insues. I'm not sure what to do about some things that are going on right now, I'm supposed to be going to the bank today to get a check cashed but I also need to go into work and get my new one. We'll see how mother feels like dealing with this. My uncle is staying with us again until he buys himself a car. I'm so pissed off ( Read more... )

Lost somewhere I can't figure out in a world I know but can't seem to find. I want to be waitless I want to be free... water is my love, water is my passion, I want to float freely in the waves, sink freely to the bottom, lay listlessly on the bottom of the ocean surrounded by cool peacefullness, looking up into the sunlight breaking through the ( Read more... )

What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't want to care I can't stop I'm so irritated. I told you I wasn't sweet. I don't want to care that you're having sex, I don't want to care who you've kissed. I don't want to care what you care about and I don't want to care what you have to say. But that might be a lie. I think I want everything even you ( Read more... )

Just thinking to think and breathing to breath, but I can't understand what any of it means. I'm lost in this dream that I can't understand and that I'm oblivious to whatevers at hand. Lost in a nightmare, lost in a dream, lost in whats not as it seems. You pull me to safety, you drop me off ship... you let me lose touch you let me stop... you ( Read more... )

I kind of dislike the snow on a major level. I could be with Bobby but no theres snow snow snow everywhere. Well today sucked regardless. My uncle tried to beat the shit out of me last night 'cause he got drunk and is a total crazy mother fuckin' asshole. Came into my room and started yelling at me then got pissed and threatened to hit me and ( Read more... )