i want to call you but i have nothing to say. i don't miss you, per se. i miss our friendship. i don't even know if that makes any sense. i love how we are when we get together, and i hate how we are when we're apart. it's so cliched to say that i'm a wreck without you, but i hate the person i turn into when you leave. jealous, sad, angry. i think ( Read more... )

pretty eyes
pirate smile
sadness.
i can't seem
to motivate
myself.
christmastime
a blessing
and a curse.
why can't you prove me wrong for once?

i'm uncomfortable in my own skin.
i won't let you in.
not you.
not anyone.

ever again.

i wait by the phone
but not so much
for you to call, i suppose.
i just get lonely.
and i like to talk to friends.
although.
if you do call
i would be excited.
for i would answer
"hello?"
and then slam the receiver
into it's cradle.

ahaha that carl's junior commercial is so dirty. what the hell? that guy shakes the cow. plain hilarious.

in other news, i need to stop stalking people online. it only leads to more heartache.

p.s. i hope when you see my name online, the guilt eats you alive.

and i hope it keeps you up for weeks
like you did to me.

i see you online all the time. and i know you see me too. and it's like..what the hell? i don't IM you anymore. i won't call. i mean, to be honest our relationship means nothing unless i call you and make it appear. do i not mean anything to you? you tell me one thing, and do another. my roomates used to tell me that actions speak louder than words ( Read more... )

i cannot wait to have children.

*pause*

ok, obviously i can wait. the first sign being i've not yet taken the necessary action to procreate. ahah. not that i want to procreate the first time. or even, within the next couple years. i just...think that having kids is something that i was meant to do ( Read more... )

dude, my subconscious can suck it.

::so this is the new year ( Read more... )

i wish you would leave again.

this time.
don't come back.