Yeah... I had great plans to come back here and unearth the low-carb ice cream bar that I had buried, so I wandered out to where I left it and plunged my bare, naked hands into a foot and a half of cold snow. Nothing! I mean, I got some odd looks from passers by, but other than that the whole experience left me with nothing. Saddened by this, I ( Read more... )

You wouldn't believe how many castration threats I receive daily. To be exact, it's around 2. Okay, perhaps that isn't unbelievable, especially because castrating Mr. Adam seems to be this winters hot new game (this means you, Rachel ( Read more... )

As Rachel, Danielle, and David know, for the last couple of weeks of the school year we had a story going, where each of us would write a sentence and then let the next person take over. I've decided to try and revive this, only with each person writing a paragraph. (Nothing overly fancy, just 4 sentences or so) I'm not sure why I'm doing this, ( Read more... )

Okay, bad jokes aside, I'm tired of e-mail. Why? Because I'm lazy and want the pony express to do everything for me, and not just delivering letters. That's suitably open-ended, so let's move on, shall we? *Yes, Adam ( Read more... )

I found my soul today. This came as a shock to me, because I'm fairly sure that Satan owns half, and the other half belongs to some toy store owner in Stamford. But no, I was mistaken. I opened up the fridge and there it was, sitting right inbetween the ketchup and the mint sauce. True, it's a little bit small and withered, but the way I see it, a ( Read more... )

I have had some strange experiences in my life. I have been mistaken for a woman 5 times, 4 of them in the last 6 months (once on a subway, then a subsitute teacher, then a flight attendant, and then by one of the little men standing outside my school. The first time was when I was around 7, and another woman on our train told my mother what a ( Read more... )

I just realized that none of you out there at this moment would know if I weren't wearing any pants. This, I feel, is a suitable reason for me to be smug.

Hehehe.

Little children bother me. For one thing, they know far more swear words than I do. As far as I'm concerned the occasional "Damn" or "Bloody Hell" or maybe even "Poot!", depending on my mood, suffices, and I realize this is probably a little more conservative than the language of many others. I just don't think that 5-year olds should be throwing F ( Read more... )