Nothing is funnier than watching Erin pass J a note with "I want your (insert pic of cat here)." Bliss is watching one batshit girl trying to mount another while screaming "I WANT YOUR BURRITO VAGINA. GIMME SOME MEXICAN PUSSY, YOU BITCH!" Yes. It's the small things in life that make me smile... "small" roughly translating to "uncomfortable for ( Read more... )

I spent about four hundred dollars on X-Mas presents thus far, and I'm still not done. By the time I finish, I'll probably have blown through a cool grand (I'm installing a new front door for Meemerz, so that takes up a two to three hundred dollar chunk). I wish there was a Santa for adults. It'd be nice to send that bearded fatty into Sears to ( Read more... )

Myspace is set up so much better than this site. I'm glad I sold out and decided to spend my time on it.

Also, while shopping for supplies at Joanne Fabrics today, I realized half the saleswomen are over ninety, and also that they are mildly retarded. No, the mesh sheets were not by the foam, you lying cuntress. Open your fucking eyes.

My new favorite word is "Thundercunt." I can't wait to take it on a test run next time I'm out and about with friends.

My face hurts, and I'm really, really tired. If it wasn't for the random things Alex and Bryan do, I'd be climbing a tower to shoot student nurses right about now ( Read more... )

I forgot to tell some people that I was going to NYC for vacation. I left the 12th, and will be returning tonight. The city was fun; I went to three different comedy clubs and had a bitchin' time. I met a few people who I saw on Comedy Central, which rocked. In one club, it was such a slow night that there were only like fifteen people there, so we ( Read more... )

MY LITTLE BROTHER IS BONING A CHICK RIGHT IN THE NEXT ROOM. OH MY GOD, I'M SO GROSSED OUT I CAN BARELY TYPE. FUCK FUCK DISGUSTING OH MY FUCKING GOD ( Read more... )

I learned something today: Laughing at someone because they have a hopeless crush on a person too hygenically-gifted, pretty and intelligence IS ALWAYS FUCKING GREAT. I LAUGHED FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES IN ERIC'S FACE. ROFFLEMEISTER ( Read more... )

When green is agnostic, and everyone around you is a fresh, peachy-hued religious cockbag. Last night I wrestled with a bout of melancholy, and in the end went to sleep unsatisfied. Usually when I'm upset with something, I can confide in someone nearby, but that isn't the case with this particular issue ( Read more... )

Frank is gone. :( I'll miss coming in at noon to find the place strewn with trash, expired dough, filthy pans and caked grease. My senses will yearn for the aroma of rapidly molding yeast and spoiled pepperoni; my senses will pine for a stench that will not come. Staff will complete assigned tasks, equipment will be properly maintained, and the ( Read more... )