Sometimes when you need to get something out the best thing to do is just open up and let it happen. I've never been to good at expressing my feelings. Any time i try, I either just don't feel comfortable doing it, or I can't get my thoughts across clearly. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone anymore, so I am left with this, my journal. That ( Read more... )

I guess in all lives there comes a time when you learn your place in life. Mine is to be alone. People tell me that i'm great, and that they need a guy like me in their life. In the end though, i'm never good enough. Either I have qualities, or interests that are unacceptable, or i'm just not good enough. I found a girl that was exactly what I ( Read more... )

So it has come to my attention that I have fans. Well at least one person who is not listed on my list reads this thing. I have been wondering for a long time now how things I have only put in here have become public knowledge. It may have been my own paranoia, but I thought the people I never thought would read this, would never have an interest ( Read more... )

So here it goes. Attempt number two in my quest to write in this thing every day. I know i said I was going to do it at night, but that didn't work out too well last night. To all who were hoping for some good news........to bad, so sad, not today. Last night was yet another night where things were going well, then in the blink of an eye, it all ( Read more... )

I don't know how long this is going to be, but it will be a start. With so much going on lately, it's been hard to keep one train of thought long enough to type an entry, especially when you type as slow as me. My whole world has changed in the past week or two. I no longer have a grip on reality. Well reality yes, but what the limits are? That is ( Read more... )

Alright, I guess I can do it once. Today I'm not gonna bitch! I actually have a feeling of hope. Shelly gave me a book to read, in order to help understand her head a little better. So far i seemed to be pretty accurate as to what I thought was going on. About the only difference is that the book calls it an illness. I thought of it as problems, ( Read more... )

I'm not quite sure where to go from here. I know what I want, but I don't know how to get it. I know that I want to be with Shelly, but at times that seems very unlikely. Lately she seems like a different person at night than during the day. She is very venomous towards me lately. She no longer believes how deeply I feel about her. What I did to ( Read more... )

how many times can i be told im a liar and im just playing games before i just dont care enough to try anymore? i spent 2 hours working on a rough draft of the stupid letter i agreed to write to joe. 2 long painful hours on a draft that is designed to help me lose my new girlfriend. i love her and cant stand the idea of living with out her, but i ( Read more... )

I'm not sure how to reach out to you at this point, or if I even should. I never realized you were going to wait for me, if I had, things would have been different. It might sound like a line, but its true. you are very important to me and even in the midst of the activities last night, I wished you were there. You are very special to me and it ( Read more... )

Yet again, she surprises me. After the conversation we had on monday night, I figured I was in the dog house. I wasn't sure what I did wrong, i'm still not sure, but I thought I was in deep trouble. As it turns out, I wasn't. At least I don't think I was ( Read more... )