yet another entry of confusion and angst brewing in this body. i dont know who i want to be. i know that i want to be healthy. i know i want to be thin. i know i want control. so can these wants coincide peacefully? because at the moment, at most moments, they torment me in their refusal to coexist. im bored with who i am. i wish i were thin. it ( Read more... )

at this time i am enjoying my new nose ring and new bangs. today i get the rest of my haircut. awesomeness will ensue. B is gone for the weekend. it will only be two days, yet i find myself searching for well myself as he is gone. i feel incomplete. i could go either way with the metaphors at this point.

i hate phone calls ( Read more... )

remember this moment quick ( Read more... )

pink eye is purdy


( Read more... )

who loves jesus? oh yeah, thats right....

so im bored and updating seems natural. i have a terrible cough. it is horrible, i hope i get better soon. i should pray for it again. i love that i pray continually, it helps. because im not always praying FOR something, sometimes i pray out of appreciation. im not always asking for something. so my mom and i spent some time together today, it ( Read more... )

i like to chill and eat chex mix with my 4 year old cousin...cause she knows more about the world than i do most days...

i feel so empty everything seems pointless. this is the part where i reach out to jesus right? well, jesus, help me out. my boyfriend fucks me then leaves me. he counts the minutes we have to cuddle in order to make me feel less shitty. and that in itself makes me suicidal. right now, a razor tomy wrist sounds inviting. my eyes cry, but im too ( Read more... )

things that make me happy these days ( Read more... )