i know you dont get it. why he likes you. but fr some reason beyond your comprehension, he does. so leave it alone!

GOD! youre so fucking dumb! why?! why do you do this?! you KNEW, you knew that doing this would be disasterous and you still did it! why do you do it? why natalie?

because maybe if he tells you enough or on some level he conveys an ounce on honesty, youll begin to believe it too.

its over.

the calender is old. i need a new one. i wish i could grasp the words like i have previously done so. i find myself humming and bopping to the beats of kanye and not despising adam levine's nasally meanderings as much as i intended. i like the part of me that can exist around him. unabashed about my interests. mariah carey doesnt seem like such a ( Read more... )

somedays the fight seems worth it. i hate that i always start sentences with somedays or sometimes. cant i fucking commit to always or never? bryan tells me that he loves me. i doubt it. he tells me that he will never leave me or hurt me. he will keep me safe. keep my heart from breaking. but how can he promise something so unrealistic? its ( Read more... )

I try to be so strong. So self reliant. But sometimes I have to turn to others to find the love I need. Because I will never find it within. For myself. Its terrible this feeling. Wanting so badly to not need them, but needing them so relentlessly to satisfy this void where self love should exist. Existence is cruel some days.

Bodily functions returning. This has to end. Im turning into what I always despised and preached so vehemently against..the girl who lets herself go because she has a boyfriend. So he says im not fat. And? What does that do…? nothing. It doesn’t let me fit into the smalls and mediums of the world. it doesn’t get rid of my insecurity, it doesn’t ( Read more... )

i like staring into the mirror
watching as the sadness escapes through my eyes

why wont you let yourself be happy ( Read more... )

the mirror and i have seperation anxiety ( Read more... )

officialy livid or slightly hurt. im a bit mad and delirious due to raging pheremones, sleep deprivation and oncoming sickness. either way, he said, 'arent you glad now that we got the 'L' word out of the way". WHAT?! fuck you no. im not happy to get something so substantial and monumental out of the way! in fact im dissapointed and sad it came so ( Read more... )