I don't know what to make of this life anymore. Currently I am trying to make it through my annual Death Virus. This is the 3rd consecutive year that I am affliced with the flu, acute ear infection, sinus infection, Bronchitis and a raging Lupus flare. I haven't been able to eat or do much of anything for that matter. God only knows why I dare ( Read more... )

As if I don't have enough problems sleeping, I get a call at 3:20am. My machine picks up and beeps every 3 seconds until I am forced to get up and check the message and/or erase it. This is the worst answering machine in the world..soo annoying. I missed the call when it first rang because I suppose I was in somewhat of a deep sleep. It was the ( Read more... )

My body knows it's January. I have been so busy with work and the kids that I haven't had the time to actually feel this change, well not until today. This sensation creeps up on a person. It's as if I have been lathered (from waist on down) with Ben Gay. My legs are burning up, tingling, however the exception is that no relief follows. ( Read more... )

My New Year's rocked..yeah right. As much as I wanted to stay downstairs by myself and skip out on the festivities, my Sister-In-Law changed that. In the morning she informed me that her mother was crying because her son (my "husband") chose to host his own party in his apartment. Apparently she was upset because she felt that he should be spending ( Read more... )

I think I need to go mechanical bull riding. I have been fiend ing to ride a mechanical bull ever since I rode one a year or 2 ago at a pow wow. I have been feeling my age, well just plain aged for a while now. I can't quite pin it down but there's just something about that bull that made me feel energized, young. I found a website for a bar in NJ ( Read more... )

20-something cigarettes a day and I decided my new year's resolution is to quit. What am I thinking? Shit since I made that decision I have been smoking more than ever thinking I have to make every last puff count ( Read more... )

I feel as though I am working 24/7. Working in social services presents enough stress, but to then have to go home and tackle responsibilities at home is exhausting. I get out at 6pm, home by 7:30 cooking, cleaning, parenting..I think the worst is when I finally have the opportunity for sleep I can't. Lately it seems I am plagued by a million ( Read more... )

I have adopted Jesse Jackson's vocabulary. I have noticed that so far my entries have included quite a few of my own made up words and probably some of his (well if not now soon the way I am going with this ( Read more... )

I feel as though I have a hangover without the pleasure of drinking. I had what seemed like the longest night. The kids were manic and that's being mild. Even with the t.v off, no company, lights off didn't matter. I don't even know what time it was when they finally fell asleep, but from waking up this morning I can tell you it was way too late. B ( Read more... )

Okay so here's the story. I will be 29 yrs old soon. I have been suffering from unbearable chest pains and other maladies for the past few months now. Let me digress.. About 8 months ago I was seen by Cardiologist who told me I had a heart murmur, possibly caused by the Lupus, but no biggie. He told me to schedule a f/u in 1 mo. Anyway, need a ( Read more... )