I don't know how I want to feel. I want that warmth, and, I want that warmth. It really boggles me. I need communication. Friends, anyone. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and uncertain to have no one to talk to. Tomorow we'll see. Comfort levels are dropping and I don't know how to reverse the problem ( Read more... )

If it won't even happen in my dreams, how could I hope for it to happening reality? I'm rejected ... by everyone ...

Love is the maximum intensity of "like". So it is and what can be done to argue against this? The word itself is used too loosely that there must be a word that is much stronger than love. Yet there isn't. The next best thing to saying love is to display or describe this love. I can tell myself all I'd like but the reality is what is and I think ( Read more... )

I cry, but not tears, I cry thoughts
What will be and what will not
Judging is human instinct
One part of our worlds hate
It angers us to be displaced
Haven't you believed anything I say?
When I speak I feel you'll just walk away

Damn, I wussed out again. These three guys started laughing at me, then I kinda glanced at them and they told me to turn around. when I didn't, they asked if I wanted to suck their balls. I hate that I got intimidated by 'em. Wish I was a bigger person ...

Who do I kid but myself? dreaming of something that could never exist. Haha, it makes my eyes water thinking about how the possibility never existed and that single chance that it could be right. Heh, this will hurt so much ... If I cry, would I seem weak?

I wish I were a better person. Had a personality that I could at least live with. It's so hard to accept my own, and I am me. I wonder if it's hard for everyone else to accept me. I wish I knew what it was exaclty that made me cry twice this year. Whatever it was it made me break my promise to myself to never cry after I turned 13.

~ Im not doubting myself ... well maybe I am ... but I feel Im not ... I just want to know why people think Im awesome or whatever ... I think Im not cause Im doing the same thing everyone else does ... its no different from what I do to what you do or she does and he does ... I do these things just to feel like I have some connection to with ( Read more... )

~ Maybe if I wasnt so easy with myself ... Im weak to my thoughts and actions and now look ... punishment is necessary ... I cant think of anything else that would do ... pain and love ... a combination that never works out ...its either one or the other ( Read more... )

I Don't Know If Getting To Know Her And Becoming Friends Was The Best Decision I've Made ... Like, Im At The Point Were I Like Everything About Her And Theres No Way For Me To Run Away ... The More I See Her, The More I Know About Her, The More I Want To Be With Her ... But Theres No Way In Hell I Can Change How She Feels ... Just Friends ... Thats ( Read more... )