ITS MY BIRTHDAY IN 2 DAYS AND WE ARE GOIN CLUBBIN!!!!!! IT WILL BE FUN...IM REALLY EXCITED!!

ANOTHER THING: I DONT HAVE TO HAVE ANYONE BUY ME CIGARETTES AGAIN!!!
LOL

so he loves me, but he isnt inlove with me anymore... 
and Im fine with it...
it didnt hurt to read that..

maybe a friendship could work after all... only, it might take a lil while longer

you know I got on here to write about pain and sorrow and blah blah blah...
but then I realized something... I DONT HAVE ANY OF THAT. its over, Im over it...
so why is that I like... trick myself into thinking about shit again... almost wanting the drama back..because i seriously dont have any in my life right now...shouldnt I be happy? I mean..I AM ( Read more... )

I've been looking in past entries of mine... looking for some answers to... NOW? I guess... I dont know. but I've decided that I CANT do that. I cant look at the past and tell myself its gonna end up that way again cuz I actually KNOW it wont.. I dont know if Im going to allow it to happen ( Read more... )

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Im so sick of myself...

ya know..
its weird...
I really have nothing to say, I mean... there isnt really anything bothering me.. 
and well my life is uneventful
although I hung out with my girls Mindy and Nikki last night and that was a BLAST!

so yeah...uh...thats it

so we've said our final farewells...

I cried, hopefully for the last time over him
I love him
but I know that sometimes you just have to move on
and I think with him finally saying what he wanted, I can do that 
knowing he wants nothing to do with me with prove positive in the long run.

and we did end it on a positive note so, it should be ok 

I had fun this weekend... 
the attention I got, was cool.. I liked it.. 
but it didnt last long enough (not that I expected it to last too long)
 and now Im back to thinking about shit 
that I really do not want to be thinking about

why do I have to torture myself the way I do? what is up with that?

I'm miserable...

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR BULLSHIT! ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS SIT AROUND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND SMOKE POT, INSTEAD OF MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF!!! YOU ARE STUPID!! AND I DONT WANT TO BE APART OF IT ANYMORE...  I know I did stupid shit and acted like a girl, which I HATE! and I am sorry..BUT YOU HAVE TO OWN UP TO YOUR SIDE OF OUR  RELATIONSHIP! key word ( Read more... )