The only one who thinks the grass looks greener on the other side for you is me. I've never told anyone except Ericka, but I feel totally unworthy for her. I feel like I've hurt her so much that I can hardly make her happy. Everytime I see her smile I take it for granted. Her happiness means so much to me and when she says I make her happy I ( Read more... )

I wouldn't say I've come to terms with everything, but I'm making the best of it. I've lifted everyday since break. Good for me huh!?

Ericka is the only one I want. I've met many girls, dated a handful, and felt strongly for few. Only one girl has stuck by me through times of bad as well as times of good. Only one girl has loved me regardless. She has her reasons for what she does. I cannot make her choose between those she loves and me, someone she loves as well. To find ( Read more... )

I happen to be lost in thought quite often lately. I'm sorta trapped up here. I'm confined to thinking. If I could take action I would. I was hoping to be a super-hero and go sweep Ericka off her feet. I could save the day. I guess no saving will be done. Those who don't want help cannot be helped. I thought a lot. I know what bugs me. I ( Read more... )

I wake up from a dead sleep a lot now. I don't really know why. Worry maybe. Even in my sleep it haunts me. I wake up thinking about it. What am I supposed to do? I'm so close to giving up

How long will I last? Until tomorrow. And then I'll do tomorrow again. And do it again. Stupid, I know. Maybe if I last long enough it will be the end ( Read more... )

Someone made me once think that tossing people to the side was commonplace in the world. I did it a couple times. It makes you feel very empty over time. Time sorta has a way of beating you up after time. Fighting inner demons is as hard as fighting outer demons. I'm not sure which I'd rather have. Those outer ones might just be easier though ( Read more... )

She's not going to leave her family. What you don't know is that her family abuses her. Her father has hit her more than once. If it wasn't for the help that was placed in front of her, the beatings may still be happening today. Five months she says. Five months she'll stay at her parent's house to smooth over a failed relationship. Her ( Read more... )

You're my judge and the gable rings clear
you'd rather sentence me under your rule than let it be my way.
No jury would understand my cause, no lawyer could defend my motive
confine me to bars if you'd like
I'll never be kept prisoner.

I wanted to quit, in a sense. Maybe, it was just a change. Whatever it was, I'm glad the people I care most about knocked me to my senses before I did something that I would regret.