so.
im kind of discontent with life.

but it could be worse i supposed.

im starting to feel kind of suffocated.
and waking up is such a chore.

im in fucking 8th grade and starting to consider dropping out junior year.
not sophomore.
that would be too soon.

life is seeming pretty pathetic.
but atleast i got my drugs =]

by the way ( Read more... )

these are some of the emptyest days of my life.
i sit in class and color.
and do nothing.

coming to find that im failing all of the sudden.
im starting to really fight with my mother for the first time in a while.
theres a cokehead living in my basement.
and all i think about is drugs.
i cried for the first time in alomst a month last night ( Read more... )

it was a random moment... i was making a pot of water today.. and i put about 2 cups too much water in the pot.. and i poured some out... natually.
and i thought:

there are people in this world who are dying because they dont get that much fresh water in a MONTH and im pouring it down the drain.

and i was like... wow ( Read more... )

the feeling have yet to be replaced.

i dont think i could ever replace you.

i think we all need to be reminded that were living sometimes.
because not everyones really alive.
sometimes we tell ourselves we are because we havent fully convinced ourselves that things arent the way we want.

but sometimes it seems like life is in slow motion ( Read more... )

we take so many things for granted.
like the screen you look at now.
the food you told you parents you didnt want.
the clean air that surges through your meanless veins.

what is air but the single most thing you need to live.
and yet the one thing that we can not escape.
even air-tight seals can be broken with enough air pressure.

and you think ( Read more... )

sometimes ( Read more... )

i think that the truth is...
im scared to trust anyone around me.

ive been let down more times than id ever admit.
and now i just need a stable source of reassurement because i dont think i could ever beleive anything anyone ever says to me again.
i odnt want to say that people throw words around like my worthless childhood relics, but i think that ( Read more... )

i find myself severing ties.
like things are so bad.
but theyre not.

im denying that there was ever anything.
becuase its not worth it to pretend something was there sorry.
i guess ill try and start over.
but i have nothing to go off of.

ill repair myself and move on.

things are better off the way they are now.
and i think everything/everyone will ( Read more... )

wow.
i feel like i should be heartbroken, but im really not.
and i think that people misunderstand breaking up.
its not always bad.
we didnt make sense.
and being in it brought back a lot of bad habits.

and now im just loving life in general ( Read more... )