-
It happened
On Tuesday, November 8th, Donald Trump won the election to become President of the United States. I'm devastated. I'm numb. I can't create. I can't feel. I'm disappointed, somewhat disgusted, and saddened by the state of things in this nation. I haven't been able to cry. I feel since Michael I've shed all of the tears I can. I can't believe our ( Read more... ) -
one
There are too many stars and not enough sky. I feel like crawling in the hole again and closing the lid. I'm so sad and angry and I know that it will pass eventually but I just feel like breaking stuff. Death is a part of life. I know that, it shouldn't come as a shock to me, but it always does. And one death triggers the others in my life. It ( Read more... ) -
A day away
A brief bit of a story, for anyone to still reads this ( Read more... ) -
The dark pool
I'm still getting used to the knowledge that I'm bi-polar. I can see the warning signs for mania, and am able to call for help, luckily, in time. Having a mental health disorder isn't dealing with one condition ( Read more... ) -
No more love
No more love. No more light. I feel like these things have been taken away from me. I had a friend. A good one. We'd been through death and life together, gone on many adventures and now suddenly that friend is gone. No reason has been given, just that I'm no longer welcome as a friend and I am devastated. I can no longer go to some of my favorite ( Read more... ) -
a good night
Had a fantastic time last night with new friends. I watched the 1996 movie Crash with James Spader (who I love) with my new friend Michael. I had never seen the movie, it was pretty much about sex and the sexualization of car crashes, a David Chronenburg film. Holly Hunter and Patricia Arquett were also in it. I think I need to watch it again ( Read more... ) -
Cocoon
I wish I could zip myself into a cocoon and break free in a few years. A new person who knew what the hell she was doing with her life. Who didn't break things. A woman who dressed properly, didn't wear t-shirts ( Read more... ) -
In which I break stuff
As I drove home last night, it almost seemed magical. The full moon, nearly the harvest moon, was out in full glory, shining through the clouds. I held my hand out the window and felt the cool breeze. The wind swirled my hair around and around until it was a beautiful tangled mess ( Read more... ) -
at most
At most I feel lost, at the very least, I feel like I'm drowning. In what, I don't know. Tar, a peat bog, deep water ( Read more... ) -
he was shy
The grass felt cool and damp to the back of his head, his shoulders. He was nervous. Though he was always slightly nervous, he was more so now that he was laying next to her. Head to head, like the hands of a clock, laying and looking up at the stars ( Read more... )