not quite alone, not quite in company ( Read more... )

ive been back for almost 4 months now, and it seems fake. i feel exactly the same as i did in ny, i dont feel any different ( Read more... )

grr. no stoppin in nyc afterall. damnit. im so dissapointed ( Read more... )

i am not attending parsons afterall. nor am i moving to new york city ( Read more... )

i got in!! i got in!! i got in!!

you're looking at a new PARSONS photography student, beginning in this fucking FALL.

hellllllllllllllllllllllll yessssssssssssssssssssss.

&did you know - parsons rejects over half of their applicants every year?! OH MY GOD.

dlkjbaivi3wuyfvpi8kaljbfiub97kjb871rvdbmabi~!

i finally turned in my application portfolio to parsons....only, i didnt finish it completely (i forgot to create the damned collage) so im most likely not getting in. plus, i looked at a few other peoples portfolios, and the truth is- i suck ( Read more... )

im such a dork for even writing this down.

but josh just told me that last night, he was showing his friends my myspace pictures and they were like "damn" and one guy kpet high fiving him. and even his brother told him he thinks im fucking hott.

talk about a boost of effing confidence.

im ok, not as depressed as ive sounded in the last couple of posts. i just try SO fucking hard to be happy, and to keep everyone else happy at the same time. &when it fails, i get devastated. huge fault of mine? probably, but i like to think of it as "caring too much". as horrid as that sounds ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

F
U
C
K
.

and thats all i have to say.