And you wonder why I ignore you when it comes to 'Luna. I mean I can sympathize and whatever and be like 'could use some tang in the poon veriety." But whatever. I only give common good advice like "if if feels good, do it." and "hurts like hell, won't do that no more?" and whatever. I don't go the "F_t B!_ch" route. I have no reason to. It's not my place. It's not my heart... and as far as all that goes, I prefer my own chase and my own timers. Phuc quoted Star Trek once and said "I need my pain."
Like Rachel says, even though it won't help, I understand how you feel. I've managed to be on both ends of that spectrum, doing both the leaving and the hanging on. I know it's hard, but hang in there. You have a lot of friends that love you. Sometimes things work out a certain way for a reason, even if that reason doesn't become apparent for a long time to come. You might look back one day and understand... you just never know. So keep your chin up and keep looking to the horizon. And in the meantime, it's perfectly alright to have bad days mixed in with the good. :)
I somehow missed this latest downtime, regret I was not more perceptive. I wish I could deliver a magic fix, but I'm not a cure, I know. I've been trough the depression route (Hawaii - Fairfax time frame) but somehow a switch was thrown and I realized I was mired in feeling sorry for myself and the people I cared about were the ones who were suffering almost as much as I. I was choosing to be unhappy. I was in that realm too long and finally decided I needed to get out of it. Don't know what the motivation was to get out of it, but it did just happen with time. Not to say it will or should take as long, but id did take a few years. The thoughts do indeed creep back during personal down times, but I've found so far, different mechanisms and ways to push them to the back and not let them interfere with the journey of life and the pursuit of happiness. I've found pursuing happiness, things I enjoy is the best way. Not always easy or convenient or possible, but I find tis the only way I can cope and stay sane. I think I'm doing
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I know that it won't make you feel any better, but you're not a pathetic asshole. It will go away, I promise.
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Thanks for the baseball game again. Twas a good time. I should go to more so that they win more, eh?
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I'm pretty sure we all do.
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Wait... unless you don't care about me.
!!
*scurries back into the shag carpet*
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