Its strange how you can shockingly put two and two together. A girl at a party I called she said I made her feel totally down; I noticed in some conversations with other girls years ago that I felt guilty because their lives (at least over the phone) appear to be such joy. This time, she left because it was implied that I was dragging her down,
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You say that you will keep it to yourself, don't, as I said once before, it just screws your life up even more. I never understood why people get hurt when it's you that's miserable, not them. I guess thats my illogical-ness talking to me again.
Blame is a powerful thing, and it seems that's what you do to yourself, blame, blame, and more blame. It may be the hardest thing not to do, but don't blame yourself for them not understanding, but it is possible.
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