Fuck lately. It's been depressing as fuck. I feel so alone and unheard, abandoned and unwanted. When did this ever begin to happen to me? When did I just become a shadow of my former self to such a deprecating point? I don't feel the juice, the vigor, the energy that was me, I feel as though a shell, of exhaustion, depression, pointlessness has ( Read more... )

I feel as though my life has changed dramatically and in some elements remained the same. Over the last few years I've been going to college, working and playing World of Warcraft on the side. I can't really say that the higher learning department has helped me much by way of personal development. It's really been a waste of my time, or so it feels ( Read more... )

So today I was to give my presentation on RFID technology. I tested this thing on 3 different and unique computers and they all worked. When I went to give my presentation the fucking piece of shit computer they have setup was already having problems. I had to fix it to give the guy before me sound. Luckily that part of it worked, for him. The ( Read more... )

Just some things I've been thinking about lately. The global perspective of myself and things lately ( Read more... )

And so she died. My partner, my faithful companion. My dear and sweet companion died today. I had her for 12 and a half years, and through all of it she was there. My Dad's death, my best friends suicide, my small tedious fumblings of manic depressive bouts with life and cosmic uncertainty. The ending of the longest relationship I'd been in. She ( Read more... )

What is there that I can say, anything that would make sense? I just don't know anymore. It's rough. Times are hard. Things are changing, life is new, and old, and repeating. I remember as a child they always told me that it would get better; they were fucking liars. Sure you have choices these days but you are accountable more so for the ( Read more... )

When was this a game and when did it stop? I don't know. For over the last 3 years I have been more than casually involved in the worldwide epidemic that 10 million others to date of public record suffer from, World of Warcraft aka, WoW. Why do I play this? I don't know. Why do I continue to play this, I'm not sure ( Read more... )

I haven't randomly posted my thoughts to this blog for quite some time. Upon sharing the histories of my entries here, clean, whole and unedited with another perhaps with all this richness I should return to post my random thoughts here again. I don't really know why I left, or why I began perhaps the two reasons are the same. This blog is seven ( Read more... )

Two months or so? Thats what it has been so far. Two years, and for what? Gone without a trace, no words, no hints, no arguments, no satisfaction, just gone. Why do I feel so shitty about this? Why can't I just get over it, and move on? Because if I could do that it would be too fucking easy, and life for me, couldn't be too fucking easy, or least ( Read more... )

At least since the last entry things seem to have settled down a bit, which is always a good thing. It appears that usually my life is filled with unecessary bullshit and excess, in one form or another up to and including base sloth ( Read more... )