Rudeness

[deonon]

Any one who knows me knows that I value politeness (in its real sense) as one of the virtues of civilisation. After all, it has been proposed that having to work through the complicated web of social interactions is one of the (species guided) reasons our brains got so big (and not the other way around

Comments

[badmandi]

I agree that manners are taught by the family (and I am including the extended family - if one of my Aunts caugh me swearing, I would be in just as much trouble as if it was my mother) and that teachers cannot be responsible for teaching manners

[malinari86]

Hell yeah. I may not agree with everything you say Mandi, but on this one, we agree. If you want people to be polite and respectful...be polite and respectful to them.

What a lot of you might have missed is that I am deliberately rude to some of you out there. Maybe you could take me aside and ask why that is. If you are honest with me I will be honest. I will endeavour not to be cruel.

But listen, having just spent 4 days in Japan, I can see why manners are important and how they act as a social lubricant...it is worth it.

[illdrinn]

And when it was brought to my attention that it was considered innappropriate I apologised as best I knew how, and now by reading my journal you know why I didn't think it innappropriate.

You're right I tend to be rude because no one corrects my behaviour, when I am made aware of it being incorrect I try to make up for it. In this case I was made aware, and it would seem it affected you more than a single apology can make up for... I apologise again and if there is something that can be done to undo the wounding let me know.

I will be more guarded with my language in your presence in future.

It seems a pity that it was random click through that lead me to this entry, I prefer that people bring their woundings direct to me.

[illdrinn]

I do think it's a little impolite incidentally to accept an apology at face value, but hold judgement without fair trial and to an audience. I hope you give me fair chance to re-establish your understanding of who I am, I can be very polite, I am just brash and unthinking on occasion.

I will try and forward a peace offering with James when I can.

[deonon]

It was unfortunate that James brought you to me at the convention, where I was trapped into being agreeable. I actually have the conception of xenia, of hospitality, deeply engrained in me. As long as you were attending the convention, I felt obliged to make sure your time was enjoyable as possible, even to dismissing my own complaints.

Now that it's over, I felt like saying how I felt. I wrote in on my lj, because I found it interesting from a philosophical view point: if it were possible to remove a hurt caused by a previous status?

Ultimately though it comes to this: you hurt my friends. I will react to that.

[illdrinn]

This is just a brief comment to say that I have received your message and am not ignoring it, but will make comment at a later date because James wished to speak to you before I do so.

[berym]

Empathy isn't easy for everyone - they may have varying degrees of autism, asperges, different social or cultural backgrounds, any of which impacts... hey, you might even have a starsign which doesn't lend itself well to empathy, should you follow that strain of thought ;)

What matters is that you try, honestly and truly. You will be rude at times - sooner or later. No one is perfect, no one always thinks about others, no one always remembers a thank you. What you can do is try, though. Try to think about others, how they feel, what they have done for you

[deonon]

I am actually amazingly empathic to one random person. It's like whenever I see her I'm tuned into her fellings, likes and dislikes. It's so weird :P

Must be a confluence of starsigns.

[berym]

I tend to believe I am an empathic person, it's just that I get... shy, or unsure of how to best express my empathy for them, and just stand or sit there looking a bit sheepish.

Joe Jackson

[princess_todd]

ARTIST: Joe Jackson

Re: Joe Jackson

[kingdom_supes]

Amen brother!