Comments | derivablezero: Headaches

derivablezero

Headaches

Jul 27, 2006 01:09

Fifth night, in a row. It's one o'clock in the morning and instead of sleeping I'm tossing and turning in bed, and have been trying relaxation since 11 pm, when I first hit the sack. There are no visible clocks in my room, it's entirely dark, my husband is snoozing calmly next to me. And I cannot go to sleep ( Read more... )

Comments 14

The word of God on every child's lips is mother. ~~Byron annabowie July 27 2006, 13:43:43 UTC

Here's the thing: if you say, "Mom, you really treated me shitty--please apologize?" she isn't going to do it. If she said it the words would be hollow ( ... )

Re: The word of God on every child's lips is mother. ~~Byron derivablezero July 28 2006, 23:19:23 UTC

I never really thought about it that way... I never saw her as making herself a "victim" because she was always the abuser. It opens up a whole other door. Hrm.

ladyoracle July 27 2006, 15:23:56 UTC

I am going to lend you the co-dependency book I have been reading, which suggests some ways of achieving forgiveness without an actual confrontation--according to the book, those are rarely as satisfying as one would imagine.

ladyoracle July 27 2006, 15:25:49 UTC

Also, you have to fully experience and understand and embrace the anger before you can forgive her. Premature forgiveness is like putting a band-aid on a slit wrist.

derivablezero July 28 2006, 23:19:56 UTC

I've been fully experiencing and understanding and embracing the anger for YEARS. It's just that every couple of weeks there's something new to be angry about.

boi_in_boots July 27 2006, 21:22:45 UTC

wow.. that IS a headache... *hug and love*

yeah.. I concur with the above... it sounds like she has no business being in your life... having had my own bad experiences with parents (not as bad as yours, but still sour nonetheless), my suggestion would be to leave your mom in the past.. your grandparents seem to be much better parents for you than she ever would or could be. I don't have any tips for letting go, because I'm still trying to figure it out myself. Forgiveness doesn't mean letting her back into your life if she is a source of negativity for you.

derivablezero July 28 2006, 23:20:32 UTC

I agree. I really want to just forgive what she did by myself, and not ever speak to her again. Trouble is, I love my grandparents and she lives with them :|

insomniatrix July 27 2006, 23:27:35 UTC

I think Anna and Cindy have given you some very good advice. I had a feeling we went deep in our conversation and that it might dislodge some feelings ( ... )

derivablezero July 28 2006, 23:20:42 UTC

I love you, Clare.

insomniatrix July 29 2006, 01:39:38 UTC

I love you very much.