Comments | derogatory: goodness, cedric, have some decorum.

derogatory

goodness, cedric, have some decorum.

Jun 23, 2008 19:26

re; TwilightHOLY FUCK THIS IS THE WORST BOOK I'VE EVER READ ( Read more... )

distract me, god-- vomit, oh i just threw up, no he's not asian, nom nom nom, twilight, worst vampire ever

Comments 44

arisato June 24 2008, 00:34:08 UTC

You are only hurting yourself!!!

I think people should start canvassing around the author's house trying to spread the good word of "plot development".

gouache June 24 2008, 00:47:10 UTC

Edward/Jasper/Carlisle/Emmett orgy plz.

derogatory June 24 2008, 00:48:21 UTC

Right now I am shipping me/chainsaw to my face.

gouache June 24 2008, 00:49:48 UTC

Don't hurt yourself too badly or else you'll miss books 2, 3, and 4.

derogatory June 24 2008, 00:50:17 UTC

what

more?

Thread 5

TWILIGHT SUDDEN IRRATIONAL RAGE RANT #218718 motorbike June 24 2008, 01:02:59 UTC

I couldn't get past the first 100 pages. And I mean, this shit comes in large print by default. I am not easily offended, but seeing little girls pick up this book in the store makes me want to BEG them not to grow up emulating this relationship model. Never mind good, nothing about this book is acceptable.

I'm not even mentioning the myriad storytelling faux-pas. I've seen this um dialogue and um billboard body language in shitty LJRPs. I'd read the mess of them with humor if only the book had any quirks to laugh about. Every pick-n-choose cliche character is bland, the chemistly is a snooze, and I've seen better self-insert protagonists in Sherlock Holmes fanfiction. PROTIP: If your first-person Mary Sue makes readers want to hit her until she STFUs, you may want to examine the shit you're projecting into her.

Re: TWILIGHT SUDDEN IRRATIONAL RAGE RANT #218718 derogatory June 24 2008, 01:12:28 UTC

I THINK I'VE MISUNDERSTOOD. ISABELLA SWAN..... SHE'S AN EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY RIGHT? BECAUSE THAT IS THE MATURITY LEVEL I'M PICKING UP

OH MY GOD THEY'RE PLAYING BASEBALL

motorbike June 24 2008, 01:39:53 UTC

http://buttfacemakani.livejournal.com/281619.html

pretty much this

fuck

derogatory June 24 2008, 01:44:23 UTC

OKAY MY PROBLEM IS TWOFOLD AND MOSTLY CONCENTRATED ON THE VAMPIRES.

LIKE, IF THE PROTAGONISTS SUCKS, COULD THE SUPPORTING CHARACTERS BE LESS OF TOOLS?

APPARENTLY NO. ALSO, YOUR NEW VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FATHER. god whatever. This is what not having sex before marriage does to you.

dalton June 24 2008, 01:33:38 UTC

JACKIE: I BOUGHT TWILIGHT
CAITLIN: NO WHY
JACKIE: DON'T JUDGE ME
CAITLIN: WHY
JACKIE: YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM READING IT
CAITLIN: YOU WILL REGRET THIS

ONE DAY LATER

JACKIE: OH GOD I WANT TO PUKE

I LOVE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO!!!

derogatory June 24 2008, 01:35:40 UTC

SHUT UP PORKMAN

i don't think I'll read the next book

dalton June 24 2008, 01:36:21 UTC

god please don't. you realize there's like four of them right.

derogatory June 24 2008, 01:42:14 UTC

WHAT!!!!!!!!! are they smaller?

Thread 14

mordecai June 24 2008, 02:26:24 UTC

BUT IN THE ONE COMING OUT THIS SUMMER THEY GET VAMPIRE MARRIED AND THEORETICALLY HAVE VAMPIRE SEX??? OR SEX BEFORE VAMPIRISM? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, I COULDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO THE FUCKING THINGS ON AUDIOBOOK BECAUSE WOW, IF YOU THOUGHT JUST READING THE WORDS WAS BAD, JUST IMAGINE LISTENING TO THIS BREATHY 19-YEAR-OLD ACT OUT HER MILDEST FANTASIES.

HOW ARE MORE PEOPLE NOT SPONTANEOUSLY HEMORRHAGING UPON PICKING UP A BOOK???