did you care you hurt me,
or did you even know?
were you standing comfortably
while i wandered in the snow?

blinded by the beauty
of the frozen crystal stars,
you didn't see me clearly,
or you would've seen my scars.

did you think i was content
without you by my side?
are we blinded by the snow
or does it help us hide?

so i sit here
and i crave
to suck in my carcinogen
and swallow my escape
and taste the sweet taste of numbness

so i sit here
and i long
for an everlasting sleep
and a knive in my skin
to tear into my pain

so i sit here
and i wish
for a bottle in my hand
to drown my sorrows
in an endless cycle of shame

when i see her face
or hear her name
i just remember why i cried

what thoughts ran through
their minds when
i was contemplating suicide

when obnoxious thoughts come back
to tempt my hopes
sometimes i wish i'd lied

naturally pale
but her teardrops
left streams of color
on her cheeks

resisting was an old habit
but she still cried
every time
and she bit her lip until it bled

slashing scars
on her back
went well with her bruises
and you could see it in her face

and yet she loved him anyway...

Distressed Beauty

I dig at my wrist

give the knife a twist

In a search for inner peace

Some sort of release

All my views are nihilistic

All my thoughts turn quite artistic

Throw my own face in the dirt

To try and numb the hurt

You can call it self-abuse

It is just my excuse

My demented reality

A drained mentality