Comments | desert_dreamer: (без темы)

desert_dreamer

(Untitled)

Apr 02, 2004 01:48

Leon (meanjoevoodoo) is mystified by concepts which are common sense to the rest of us.

If you love someone and you don't want to lose them, you don't deliberately do things to hurt them. I mean, duh. Who would possibly do that?

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Comments 4

a_vivid_dreamer April 2 2004, 04:05:17 UTC

hugs. *i know* alcoholism sux. i cant find words to console you. prolly cos i still havent found the words to colsole myself after my own experience with my partner having alcoholism problems. but at least know i am thinking of you and your situation and your hurt. and i think i relate to you. do u sometimes feel stupid for staying with him and it makes sense to have left a million years ago, yet something keeps you there for some reason? even tho it doesnt make any sense. sometimes i feel like even tho my bf's behaviour says "i dont really love you or respect you" part of me for some reason excuses it all and continues to belive that he does love me. and then sometimes things seem okay and normal and good, and i think "why was i thinking, how could i have been unhappy how could i complain?" relationships are hard when you're sharing your partner with alcohol. hugs to you. i could spill my whole story but i think i have said enough about my situation when this is your journal. but my intention was to let you know that what ( ... )

desert_dreamer April 2 2004, 13:05:18 UTC

Oh my God, this sounds like something I could have written. I can tell you totally understand. Believe me, I wish I knew why I have such a hard time being away from him. We DO have great times together, lots of them. Sometimes we're so happy, I swear I feel like I've fallen in love with him all over again. But it never lasts, because he can't go more than a couple days without being drunk. He tries to blame me for our problems, but he refuses to acknowledge that our problems start when he starts drinking. It's like a knife in my heart every time I hear that slur, and if he'd put the bottle down he would make the pain go away just like that. I don't understand why he won't, even just for a while. What a small thing for me to ask of him. Many women would demand that he quit drinking or join AA, but all I ask is that he wait just a couple hours. He could do it, I know he could. He just doesn't want to see me happy. He wants to make sure I never visit him because he wants to have reasons to be angry at me.

And... meanjoevoodoo April 2 2004, 08:52:40 UTC

And I would like it if you didn't stay up all night, weren't so obbsessive-compulsive, and actually came to visit me at my house some time this year. I also would like you to find another job for obvious reasons. And I wish, when you're in a bad mood, you don't take it out on me.

Luckily we love eachother and overlook our faults. And that makes me smile.

Re: And... desert_dreamer April 2 2004, 12:50:32 UTC

Well, based on this comment, it's clear that Leon really doesn't get it.

Leon: Please try to understand. If you cared about me enough to want to see me happy, I would come over. If you'd stop deliberately trying to hurt me, I wouldn't have any reason to be in a 'bad mood.' If you would make an effort to stop drinking, I'd make an effort not to be so obsessive compulsive if it really bothers you that much. This is called compromise, and it's something most happy couples do willingly for each other. You know what will make me happy and what will make me unhappy, so try doing what will make me happy for a chance. I'm not trying to tell you to stop drinking, and I'm not trying to tell you to change your basic personality traits. I'm only asking you to remain sober until I see you. That's all I ask. We're talking about 4 hours between the time you finish work and the time you'd be at my place. 4 hours. If you wait those 4 hours, I'd be SO happy, you don't even know. I'll go to the ends of the earth to make you happy if you'd ( ... )