so I'm drawing a blank.  I don't want to go anywhere or do anything today.  I would much rather stay in bed, try to sleep and say fuck the world, maybe just for today.. maybe tomorrow too.  I'm not sure.  What the hell is wrong with me?  Why can't I just walk around blank?  Maybe I will try it today, since I probably shouldn't miss a class because ( Read more... )

How could i be so stupid??? I just spent the passed 4 hours reading my previous entries only to learn that I'm an idiot.  Everything I do out of precaution is so stupid.  I never say what I want.  Not that I say everything I am thinking but no one does that.  I am sorry if I ruined your birthday.  I hope you read this, I think.  But I can't make ( Read more... )

So since the last entry a lot has happened.  I had to put my beloved Isis down because she just couldn't hang on any longer.  It still kills me everyday to think about her.  That was back on January 30th, 2008.  I moved from the house I grew up in sometime in February... which sort of goes into what's going on now.  I have this recurring nightmare ( Read more... )

1. Who were you with friday night?
~Michelle for a bit.. then I played pool with Leo and his brother.~

2. What woke you up this morning?
~A few things: Chris' roommate talking on the phone, Chris' phone ringing, Chris rolling over on me~

3. If you took a drug test would you pass it?
~Yes~

4. Is tomorrow night going to be a good night?
~I hope so~

6. Who ( Read more... )

So... come to find out, she "loves" him, he still loves me and I have an interest in someone else.  Fun shit.  Here's how this is going to work: 1.) I don't know where my current situation is going with my new someone but I do know that I enjoy waking up in his arms and I don't think about you or all the pain and anguish you have caused me when I ( Read more... )

more than ever... but I'd never tell you to your face...NEVER, NEVER, NEVER.  And that's a damn shame.

  Those shallow lies you told;
the solid secrets you kept.
The friends you sold out;
are forever lost from the truth.
The PROMISES you made,
some forgotten:some locked in place.
                           you've got your heart in your hand
                           and I feel so bad,
                           but I can't apologize for something that was ( Read more... )

I have never been this surrounded by people in my life.  And yet, I still feel absolutely alone.  Why can't I connect?  Why can't I relate to anyone anymore?  What happened to those days when I knew at least one person understood me?  And most of all, why doesn't anyone pick my brain?  Pull me out of this fucking cage because the person I am right ( Read more... )

 I am tired.  It's late.  I'm tired.  I can't sleep.  I'm tired.  I miss him.  I'm still tired.  It's pathetic that I miss him.  I'm so fucking tired.  I want coffee.  Lots of coffee.  I need to go on a diet.  I actually would rather never eat again.  That'd be great.  Anyone need a stomach?  I am willing to donate mine.  Oh geez, I'm rambling.  I ( Read more... )

"You can trust me not to drink and not to sleep around..
and if you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down.. Cuz all I really want is to be with you and feel like I matter too.  If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago I might be here with you."

I think that's it for tonight.  I'm sleepy.  I had a long day.  It's time to go ( Read more... )