my name is zambianwanderer

come be my friend... or not, whatever.

i have not been this excited to see an episode of a television show, in quite some time. ever since last week's episode of the real world australia, i have been pining for a little more of it. i fuckin love this group of people. well, not really i just love isaac ( Read more... )

there was a few moments today that took my breath away. i got all clammy and hypoxic for just a moment ( Read more... )

i really do. i almost wish that i was going to kz so i could meet up with her in a few months. it's weird how i feel closer to someone after she's been gone for nearly half a year. i miss her.

i feel moderately vulnerable these days ( Read more... )

weird as that sounds, there's at least one other human being out there that can find truth in that statement. i think there's something truly marvelous about feeling an emotion so deeply that it causes a physiological response such as, tears. amazing and beautiful. then, when the tears have subsided, a resolution has surfaced and you can actually ( Read more... )

waking up this morning, the prospect of meeting my ex's new fiance was surely not on my list of things to do. however, as fate would have it, this prospect quickly became a reality. i felt obligated and more than a simple obligation, i felt a gravitational pull towards justin's mom's hospital room. this was the woman who without hesitation wrote me ( Read more... )

this week was hectic and revealing. i took perhaps the most enlightening health care field class i've ever taken. i met some really amazing people and learned a few things about myself. i think my last post was about my issues with being here and wanting to know where i am going already and fucking go! i'm still in the same place, and this class ( Read more... )

so much is whirling around me and even more confusion settles inside of me. my current state is most definitely depressed. it seems like everything should be great right now, but i can't help but feel detached and sad. i walk myself into situations that can only lead to a let down and then fight off the tears until i've numbed that realization. i ( Read more... )

i've been spending a lot of time by myself lately. i am finding that friends are even uninvited to this place i'm creating for myself. i am unsure how long it will last, but it is definitely here to stay for now. my little moments with friends are quickly ended by my need to be alone. most of the time when i am alone i sleep, or just lie in bed. ( Read more... )