Time is so fucking relative. days, minutes, hours, weeks all dependent upon each other. Time fades with the sun and moon, passing through my particles, the essence of my being is merely energy and light, dependent on the sun and moon to tell me what I need. My porous nature, a pathetic reminder that im human, just like pain. Pain makes me feel ( Read more... )

i dont know why, but this bothers me. I dont want him back, i just miss talking to him sometimes. but its shit likes this "Korey wants to pay me to bring him some wine and give him a massage..$20.. should I ?" that makes me want to tell him "oh, by the way, about two weeks after we "broke up" i had sex on your couch.. oh, and in your shower. and ( Read more... )

really now. scotty dreams? why. why am i dreaming about that damn kid and his mohawk. why was i blissfully happy cuddling in a massive tent in his room. why.

So here I am. Here I am and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know how I came to be here, I don’t know how it happened. The past is the past and I guess it doesn’t matter much. What matters is the here and the now. The here, the now, and maybe the future. I look at what ive become, what I am. I don’t even know what I think ( Read more... )

ones for me ( Read more... )

Let me take a second to reminisce, just so I can be all sappy and get that out of my system. Because he’s still on my mind. He’s the last thing I think about before I fall asleep, and the first thing I think about when I wake up. He’s a waste of time, and I’m just going to end up looking like the fool, I already have. And the worst part is that I ( Read more... )

sometimes i just wanna stop. i get sick of the bullshit i get sick of the routine. im not unhappy. im generally a very happy person. but sometimes i just wanna stop it all. idk if that makes me suicidal. idk if i care. i just want it to be over.

I miss him. I worry about him. I worry about what he's doing. If he's doing it in a safe way. I worry about him going through with withdrawals. I want to be there for him. I want to be there to hold him. And I know its stupid. And I know he'll never want me because of that. But I want to be there everytime he calls anyways. Because I want to be ( Read more... )

I wish i could better remember the dream last night... I remember it was a great one. It's almost sad that it doesn't take much to make me feel so good. All it really consisted of was some cute guy started talking to me at the mall, i think he invited me to a dance or something, but that part didn't really matter much. He randomly came up to me and ( Read more... )

"Ok. to make a short list. love drinking/smokin during. choking but u gota no how to do it rite. bitings all rite if its the rite spot. same w scratching. umm im a sadist. opiate sex wil allways be the best. leaving one random article of clothing on is fun. if ur not supose to doit i wil want to doit. handcufs r fun but can get in the way. so much ( Read more... )