This constant restlessness is killing me. Spring break was a bust and I thought I'd come back grateful and all right again but that wasn't the case. In some ways things are worse than before because now I'm consumed by a different feeling...perhaps apathy? I'm sick of feeling so low all the time. He doesn't get it. He says we're always getting ( Read more... )

I'm feeling pretty restless lately. Eating tomato soup and hating my roommates. Ashley's cool enough but I feel like I haven't seen her all semester. We're going to Miami for spring break and I'm actually excited because I need to get out of this fucking city. Nicco and I are going to Hartford on Friday to see Brand New but we're coming back the ( Read more... )

Sometimes things just don't feel right and I don't know what sparks it. Just my skewed thought processes I guess. It depends on the angle I hit it at though. Sometimes he's insulting. I want to walk out at 3 a.m. and at the same time I just want him to fucking hold me.

I'm sitting next to Nicco in stats right now and I figure I'm really fucking bored so I'll write in this little old thing. He keeps whisper yelling, YOU LOVE FACEBOOK! Anyway, I haven't been doing much except school and watching Lost. Nic and I are addicted and pretty much live in his bed smoking cigarettes and screaming in excitement. By the way, ( Read more... )

here's the deal. i'm quite drunk and people suck. i hate nicco and i love him at the same time. it's messed up. tonight i hung out with noah and some people and i really like them. i like good people. not two-faced bitches. when you associate with people who suck it really says something about your judgment. i want everything to be okay but it's ( Read more... )

recycledair51: nicco had sex with amanda

nrm8573: what

nrm8573: really??

nrm8573: how the fuck did that happen

recycledair51: it happened a while ago

recycledair51: he just didn't feel the need to tell me

nrm8573: well how long ago

recycledair51: until amanda started leaking it out to his friends

recycledair51: like when we first started ( Read more... )

Are there stages of heartbreak as there are stages of grief? So far I've gone through bouts of anger, depression, sublimation, and now insanity/restlessness. Please tell me something good comes next. I'm not even really sad about it anymore unless I concentrate on everything that happened. I just don't know what to do with myself in general.

I feel so discontent. I talked to my dad about everything but basically just gave him a summary. He didn't make me feel any better but he said, "You need to stop having those feelings for people. Focus on school. It's what you're there for." Such a typical Dad thing to say, but it makes sense. I don't know what I want right now. We said we'd take ( Read more... )

I feel like my world is falling apart. It's like when I was in central park by the duck pond this weekend. It was storming all around me and I looked behind me and people were running away and things were being blown over. I just sat there looking out at the water and the trees and I thought about jumping in a drowning myself. But I didn't. I left ( Read more... )

I haven't written in here for a long time but tonight I'm restless. It's actually 5 a.m. but I don't even want to try to sleep. I haven't felt like myself lately. Tonight Shannon and Catherine left for Guilford and Ashley is has been in Florida for almost three weeks now. It's so strange being here alone. It's relieving and unfamiliar at the same ( Read more... )