Still matter. And still wait under the surface to be spoken. All the doubts left unaccounted for. All the questions left unasked. All the lies left unchallenged. All the anger left to simmer on the tip of my tongue or swallowed down deep inside. I curse you for doing this to me and i curse myself for letting you. And yet... i didnt walk into this ( Read more... )

i must be imagining things again. i thought there was something i wanted but i had a dream that my wish came true and i woke up horrified and disgusted. i guess its just another in a long list of things that was misread, misconstrued and never meant to be. something that could have been great at one time would now be a nightmare. and the ( Read more... )

its about 24 degrees outside. im deffinately putting my fireplace to good use when i get home.

So i know i never post anymore and that could mean either im very busy or.... that im finding other things to cure my boredom ( Read more... )

It's recently been brought to my attention that i have neglected my LJ way beyond the acceptable limits so i have returned. Looking at my last entry almost a year ago seems entirely too ironic because i remember exactly how i felt at the time and know exactly what caused that long lingered feeling originally and at the time of my last post and i ( Read more... )

"When nothing else subsists from the past, after the people are dead, after the ( Read more... )

Well i was going to post this silly blog thing and then i realized that no matter how it turns out the blog score system has some happy little comment about the result and the more i thought about it the more i think theyre all like that. Blogs and horoscopes always try to make the news happy like no matter what the result of the blog is or what ( Read more... )

Im not a quitter. I have difficulty giving up on things even when im fairly certain it's pointless. I guess i should say i have hard time giving up on people. And it's probably because i tend to believe in people as individuals. Oops my bad. Didn't realize i was wasting my time. I do now though and i assure you i wont be making that mistake again ( Read more... )

What is it about me that is SO fing complex that people dont get me? I always thought i was pretty straight-forward about things thus i am confused by the confusion ( Read more... )

Im in a state of finality. Yes i just concluded some long overdue and overdrawnout drama. No im not happy but yes i am ok and ok with it. No i dont want to talk about it. Yes i have decided to take control of my life and no i dont really have a 'plan'. fuck you for listening, we'll now return you to your regularly scheduled program. Have a nice day