The ignorance of so many internet commenters depresses me. The racism. The homophobia. The misogyny. Etc. are these people actually real
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Why can't I get angry instead of turning it inward into sadness self hate etc? I'm terrible with confrontation of any type. At least when it comes to me personally. Much better at defending others.
In a way it's sort of good that my long term memory is a bit fucked. I find it really hard to remember the painful stuff in detail or sometimes that it even happened at all. I'm like the ocean at the tide line. Soft imprints are all that remain of some of the deepest holes.