Finally, my day off! Been waiting all fucking week for this! Now all I have to do is wait for a call from Andrew so I can go meet the rest of the band and we can practice. Oh look, there he is calling now, I'll just attempt to answer my phone and have it not fucking let me!!! Hey look, he left a message, if only my phone would let me fucking listen ( Read more... )

I finally just completely let go. It's hard, but I'm trying to look at the few good things I have going on to block out all the bad. And when that didn't work I bleached my hair so it would soak into my scalp and erase my memory.

...hasn't worked yet =\

I just want to die, take away my life
lay by your side, please...

It's amazing how after all this, after everything I've been put through, I still want nothing more...

Why?

Do you honestly think I'm happy about this!? I'm not, so why are you trying to make me feel worse!? You did this, not me! I stuck it out for so long, tried so hard with you. I gave up everything I had for you, and gave up on all my plans, but got nothing back. NOTHING. And you say you're trying. After this much time, I don't believe that ( Read more... )

I just wish I knew where to go from here..

I really can't stand this. I'm falling deeper and deeper into this fucking hole I've dug myself into. I can't even afford to pay first, last, and security for my apartment by the end of this month. I'm gonna have to beg around for loans. Next month I'd be able to pay it all back, but this still kills me. Its all my own damn fault. I got myself ( Read more... )

all I wanted was somebody who cared...

Problem or not, it still hurts me more than anything

Today I went to school! And I liked it! Probably because I didn't have to go to class ( Read more... )