Comments | dianelane: All I really wanted to say in this was "touches the pickle".

dianelane

All I really wanted to say in this was "touches the pickle".

Sep 16, 2004 23:59

How to Write an Appropriate Post for your Journal

by Diane D. Lane, asterisk-friendly Pulitzer Prize Winner and Oscar-Nominated Actrice.More often than not, the most asinine and inhumane waste of time comprehensible to the Modern Celebrity is the journal entry. Resuming a period of time can just plain drive some kids up shit creek, especially after ( Read more... )

Comments 71

speilberg September 16 2004, 22:07:01 UTC

I don't know what you're getting at, but it must be evil. Please burn the tapes.

dianelane September 16 2004, 22:10:41 UTC

Only once I've finished signing the Miramax contracts. After all, why would I even attempt to mass-diffuse something if I didn't have the financial means? It's obviously foolish.

So, once I've gotten my cool 10 Million, of course I'll burn the original tapes.

golden_boy September 17 2004, 00:21:32 UTC

If these are the tapes I think they are, please let me counter-offer before you burn, eh?

dianelane September 18 2004, 16:53:34 UTC

You, who babbles about lack of funds, wants to buy incriminating videotapes from a multi-million dollar actress? Do state your opening bid.

Thread 10

lucy__liu September 16 2004, 22:07:49 UTC

Man, I don't do any of that stuff except for the capital letters.

dianelane September 16 2004, 22:12:04 UTC

Which is why you have my eternal and undying respect, of course. The world would be a better place if everyone spellchecked.

johntravolta September 16 2004, 22:09:17 UTC

Hale the knew kween of da LJ Natsi Poleese.

Pleeze, pleeze hab mah behbehz!!

dianelane September 16 2004, 22:12:54 UTC

Only because you said it in the Miss Cleo voice. You sure do know what I like, John Travolta. Insert aroused glower here.

johntravolta September 16 2004, 22:17:16 UTC

I got pretty good at pretending to be her when I did a stint as a phone-in psychic. Anything for booze money, ya know? She did tell me my fortune. Said you and me wuz gonna marry up and have a passle of brats -- complete with ripped, dirty tee shirts, sagging-full diapers, and eating dirt outside our trailer.

dianelane September 18 2004, 16:55:44 UTC

It's like a parallel universe. Oddly enough, I could see that.

aaronmarsh September 16 2004, 22:45:03 UTC

I hope mine pass as appropriate. And you're asterisk-friendly and I didn't know? This calls for a WTF and a >:O!

dianelane September 18 2004, 16:58:19 UTC

I know, I'm disappointing in every sense of the word. I'm almost tempted to put myself in stocks and have myself humiliated in public. Or, I could always post something religious in MBP.

aaronmarsh September 18 2004, 17:09:39 UTC

Disappointing is hardly the word I would use, but if you say so.

billy_zane September 16 2004, 23:00:05 UTC

My first thought was that I hoped I met your criteria and not send you into some sort of fit when you see my name on the screen. After reading through each point, I'll commend you and tell you that I find you absofuckinglutely fabulous. Did you want to touch my pickle?

dianelane September 18 2004, 16:59:53 UTC

Billy Zane, upon closer inspection of that icon, it appears you have a third nipple. Congratulations.

All of your admonitions are true. I also find you absofuckinglutely fabulous, and of course I do.

billy_zane September 18 2004, 23:56:41 UTC

If it existed it would be a nubbin. I assure you, it washed away and hasn't been seen since. Whatever tickles your pickle, Ms. Lane.