All I really wanted to say in this was "touches the pickle".

[dianelane]

How to Write an Appropriate Post for your Journal

by Diane D. Lane, asterisk-friendly Pulitzer Prize Winner and Oscar-Nominated Actrice.More often than not, the most asinine and inhumane waste of time comprehensible to the Modern Celebrity is the journal entry. Resuming a period of time can just plain drive some kids up shit creek, especially after

Comments

[philjamieson]

i fail at lj.
i fail at life.
but i'm shithot in bed.
so i'll put down the knife.

you spoke nil of the comment ditty!
it's my latest fad.
i cannot continue
because my next rhyme is...
bad.

[dianelane]

I agree with all of these things, besides the shithot in bed, because, really, I wouldn't know. Anyway, considering shit is only about 37 degrees Celsius, I wouldn't really call that hot at all. It's more lukewarm. You're shitlukewarm in bed.

You're like the Rhyming Princess Piper Posey from Fairy Forest.

[philjamieson]

37C is pretty hot in room temperature talk. it'd certainly be steaming in the mornings. which is a kind of useless clever comparison for me as my mornings usually start after the sun has hit it's high point. and hey, if you ever want to find out how great i am in bed, come on over. but make it a night time visit.

i'd write a princess rhyme to say thank you
but sunday morning poetry will just never do

[jeremy_sisto]

You sound...angry. I also think I'm guilty of all of them.

[dianelane]

I wasn't going for angry, but hey, I never spellcheck, either.

[wilson_l]

This is the most valuable advice I think I've ever received.

[dianelane]

I'll bet. My advice has saved you from many a stupidity, Luke Wilson. Nice icon.

[wilson_l]

I'm glad you like it.

[dianelane]

Ha, and those keywords. Do you like Code Red more than the regular Mountain Dew? And how did you ever work up the courage to drink it again after the nationwide "Mountain Dew reduces your sperm count!" scare?

[zimbalist]

You're the best. ;]

[dianelane]

Oh, I know. Ha, ha.

[zimbalist]

Haha. ;]

[samuelljackson]

mmm, Satan's handmaidens, especially Leibniz and OMFG and that one that looks like Queen Amidala. It's the long curly wig, you know. Leibniz's, not Amidala's.

Thank you also for making this an unlocked post. I think I'll be sending several people your way.

[dianelane]

Voltaire was right. At least, Candide was. I hope you're not a Dr. Pangloss enthusiast otherwise I'll have to beat you with an oversized novelty toothbrush. Hard bristles.

I'm just fulfilling my duties as a humanitarian, that's all.