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A long time gone
Hello my friends. I've been gone so long. It's been years of struggles. I am now back in a place of relative happiness. A place where I am allowed to heal. I feel safer. My girls are grown up and have moved out now. My oldest got married last year and is so happy. My youngest is also living with a man and is very happy. Life is good. My health has ( Read more... ) -
Snow - again
It is crazy snowing again. It has been the coldest winter I can remember in a long time. Kayla had her final step in finalizing her new job this morning. I worry when she's on the road in bad weather. Thankfully Kristy doesn't have to get out today. She needs to go pick up her check, but it can wait. I go in to work at 4 this afternoon and I'm a ( Read more... ) -
MIA
I've been missing for a while now I know. My health issues, personal dramas and family trials have kept me more than busy of late. An overwhelming sense of depression has been trying hard to worm it's way in to my daily life. So far I have been able to keep it at bay. Most days. Of course my family & basically all of my friends know nothing of this ( Read more... ) -
More Pain
I got diagnosed on Monday with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I'm stunned. Depressed. Scared. My anxiety level is so high. I have so many questions. My doctor has started me immediately on a drug that he hopes will slow its progress & is referring me to a specialist. My job is in question. My hands. I have to have them to be a games dealer. What will I do? ( Read more... ) -
Sleepless in Missouri
I got off work at 2 am and here I am. Wide awake. I think I slept 3 1/2 hours. So it looks like a nap in is my future today before working again tonight. I'm happy to report that I made it my 8 hours and didn't just fucking snap on anyone - :) !! I called my bf on a break about midnight and talked the whole 20 minutes. I did feel a bit better. Then ( Read more... ) -
Thursday
I'm trying, without much success, to pull myself up out of this depression. I worked last night and almost everyone made me mad at some point. That's very unlike me. Business was slow so I did get off a little early and I tried to sleep. Sleep is broken and full of nightmares recently. So I feel so tired no matter how long I actually lay down for. ( Read more... ) -
Down
I'm so ridiculously depressed. I find new and interesting ways to hide it. None of my friends or even my family notice I don't think. I've been eating so much Xanax and painkillers I wonder if I will end up with some kind of addiction. And saying that, I'm only about 1/2 way kidding. The money problems, medical bills, the girls' student loans, my ( Read more... ) -
Lupie Day
Having a bad lupus day today. I've slept a lot, suffered so much joint pain, a bad headache. I'm praying tomorrow is a much better day.
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Another Day
Let me start by saying Father's Day was a bitch. Like it has been since 2007 when I lost my dad. I avoided the cemetery this year. I plan on going sometime THIS week when I am better mentally. We did all go to my mothers for lunch just like any other Sunday, except along with my brother, my sister also showed up. This day is also exceptionally ( Read more... ) -
Friday
I have a short trip planned to Minnesota this weekend. We have family there. 2 graduations. I'm taking my mother. And I'm making my sister go with us. I can't be alone with mom for that long. Haha. My aunts and uncles who live there don't really drink or anything so I'm wondering if she'll try to sneak alcohol in her suitcase or something. I'm not ( Read more... )