In therapy, content vs process is referred to as the difference between the details of a specific situation (content) and the underlying cycles and information revealed about the bigger picture from a specific situation (process).  For example in an argument, content is arguing about the dishes getting done whereas process might be what not doing ( Read more... )

I don't even know where to start.  Do you ever feel your stomach sink when you realize for the hundredth time that this is it-- this is your life? Sometimes I wish I could have a dry run, first.  Just a little practice.  Not the game, we're just talking about practice.

Work

My mom likes to remind me that when I was a kid, I used to wake up in the ( Read more... )

Our past experiences shape our premises and assumptions, which in turn direct our actions or solutions, which in turn shape the pattern of our interactions. Once again, the problem is not the distressing event, change, or perceived difficulty. Instead, the pattern of how we view or respond to the perceived difficulty and try to solve it becomes the ( Read more... )

Ghosting
By Andrea Cohen

How cavalier
people are-

with language
and with silence.

Any ghost will
tell you-

the last thing
we mean

to do
is leave you.

Red flags are just flags when you have rose colored glasses on. Here are some red flags:

Number one: when I think about that time in the hotel, I start to cry.

Sometimes, I don't even realize I'm thinking about it.  Sometimes I'm not thinking about it, but I suddenly feel my body and the tears appear.  I did not provide what I needed for myself.   ( Read more... )

Over the last thirty five years

• I have lived in 13 homes or apartments, across five states, in two countries; in the desert, the mountains, the beach, in the sun, snow, and rain; on both coasts and a gulf; in two of the largest cities in the US with sprawling highways and in small towns who's roads become the inky darkness of the ocean when the ( Read more... )

I want so badly to ask what you thought about this time together.  This brief, fleeting moment we got to spend together.  [1] What did it feel like to see me and talk to me again?  [2] To share your memories again with me?  [3] What made you decide to kiss me?  [4] To touch me?  [5] What did that feel like again? [6] What does it mean?

[7] Do you ( Read more... )

Remembering is so nice and so painful.  What is this?  Why is it like this?

It hurts.  What's on the other side of all this pain?

Scott is divorcing; in the process of actively divorcing.  He has a nine year old son named Colton, which for no reason outside my own mind I find very similar to Grayson.  Scott bites me everywhere and pulls my hair. I have the grossest, hottest, darkest hickey I've ever seen- yours included. He holds me down and loves tits.  That's a lot of boxes ( Read more... )

Country told me the story of his name.  He said that when he was thirteen years old, he was bigger than the seniors.  He sent me a picture to prove it.  It's a picture of a picture, the colors both vibrant from the time and faded from the years.  It's a shirtless boy, standing precariously on the pedals of a bike, balanced above the handlebars.   ( Read more... )